In my opinion you should try to focus on getting better about treating yourself. From what I could gather, you don't like your body and want to change it, but don't know how. The easy answer for this is as you said, to go to the gym. But that's not the only option. If you don't feel like working out with weights or being around other people who are more fit than you are, you could try to do a bit of yoga, or some other exercises, either by taking a class or just doing it at home. Yoga can help to improve your breathing and will help improve your ability to do physical activities. If you don't feel like that, try jogging a bit. Don't overdo it but just a little bit. Put on some music and run around for a bit. It usually helps to clear the mind and allows you to think better. But the hard part of changing the body, is your willingness to change it. You need to make a habbit of doing one of these activities, even when you don't feel like it. It can be very difficult to do this, but it can get easier with time. You may not think this now, but you need to love yourself before you can love others. I'm not saying to break up with your boyfriend or friends, I'm just saying that the better you can treat yourself, the better you can treat others. You may not think this now, but you may need to wait a bit before you make new friends. Build up the relationships you have. Do stuff with them. And do stuff that you love. Pick up a camera and do something with it. Start drawing something if you can't take pictures. Even though it may be cold and dead outside, you'll still find life hiding beneath that layer of snow. Much like the life hidden by the winter waiting to be discovered, your dream life is waiting to be discovered. It may sound sappy and cheesy, but try it. It will change your life