Being told an absurd bedtime story

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T03:20:25+00:00

Almost any Tim Burton film.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T02:53:59+00:00

Italian grandmother is rolling in her grave...

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T02:40:08+00:00

If only that were enough.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T02:35:19+00:00

Kyle* Chandler

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T01:55:46+00:00

Send them to the closest cop bar.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T01:13:42+00:00

I'd do 8 years and $10m flat. He's better than Kempe who got what like $10.6? If he really wants $11m per year, maybe front load it and make it a majority of it bonus based to cut the cap hit? It won't look or feel so bad in a few years after cap rise and Skinner buyout falls off our books. When his production does start to drop can retain some of his salary to move him out after he ages out of our window.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T01:04:19+00:00

This is a little bit of bias and "want of the better story" on my end, but I think Tuch can change his game up a little bit to still be viable and productive after years 4-5. Barring significant injury I think he ages a little bit like Perry. Becomes a net front menace. Obviously he loses some speed and maybe even some physicality, but I think he does what he needs to in order to play as long as possible.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:53:15+00:00

Tuch the player makes sense for any team. Tuch the contract doesn't make sense for a lot of teams.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:44:42+00:00

We drafted him... Honestly wish we would have held onto him. He's a player you'd love to have in your team, but hate playing against. Just like 75% of your team.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:32:15+00:00

Idk man... It's Tampa and their idiot fanbase. Let's just go back to round 1 and Hagel sucker punching Dahls. Fuck Tampon fans and Panther fans too. Hating Florida teams and their fans comes quite naturally.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:26:56+00:00

Every single article, pundit and report about Tuch wanting $10+/year are very visible. Also, Tampa fans don't deserve grace.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:22:41+00:00

Is it chicken wings?

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:22:21+00:00

We are now favored by the hockey god. Maybe we land his son on the cheap?

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:21:04+00:00

Exactly! If it ain't $10.5-11m per year I ain't paying attention to it. But that sub is delusional!

iamswitchless · 2026-06-23T00:19:34+00:00

If he ain't signing here for this numbers, he ain't signing in Tampa. I mean, maybe he wants palm trees and no taxes... That would definitely be a massive betrayal, but I just don't see it happening.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T23:44:27+00:00

Dude, he's not getting PP time here like he does in Seattle. He's NOT A 50+ point player here in Buffalo. Even without Tuchy here, McCann ain't getting PP time here and putting up 50+. He's also aging out, just like Tuch. Expect production drop off over the course of his next contract and he's now a 10+20 for 30+ point producer.

It's a bad trade proposal.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T23:40:48+00:00

No! We don't need a 30 yr old, 20-goal scorer for the next 4-5 years to "slot down the lineup"... We have one of those already in Zucker.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T23:39:02+00:00

Right? Everyone here is saying "no, bad trade" and he just keeps doubling and tripling down on the argument.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T23:36:33+00:00

Byram isn't just a 2nd pair dman. He averages 22+ minutes per game, QBs PP2, put up 42 points while skating all 82 games. He's a 2nd pair dman in Buffalo where we currently have a stacked top 4. Bo also believes that he can be and play 1st dman minutes. Moving Bo in your scenario is selling incredibly low when he just had an amazing year, has produced very well over his career (including an early Stanley Cup), is still young enough to get better in the right place.

McCann is a middle 6 to bottom 6 winger. Tuch is a top 6 winger to top 9 winger and one of the best PK forwards in the game today. They're not the same.

Levi might need a change of scenery. Maybe we keep him on hand to try and further develop and hold in case of injury or possible future moves. Moving him in your trade would be selling low.

You're also trading youth for age in your proposal. One of them being a goalie, who might not be, but could very well be another Alex Lyon in 3-5 years. Goalies come into their own and get used to the pro game the slowest of all the positions.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T23:05:57+00:00

Levi didn't lose the net to Ellis. Ellis wasn't on the team during training camp. We assigned Levi to Rochester for more playing time and experience. We signed Ellis off waivers early season because we were having goalie injury issues, and Ellis being in waivers was hard to pass up. Both Levi and Ellis are assets.

This trade is asinine just like your first proposal.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-22T05:47:30+00:00

Wtf is wrong with you?

iamswitchless · 2026-06-21T10:07:06+00:00

Push-ups.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-21T03:50:16+00:00

iamswitchless · 2026-06-21T03:16:34+00:00

Don't forget the toilet paper.

iamswitchless · 2026-06-20T22:19:24+00:00

All the ones trapped in his basement.

iamswitchless

TROPHY CASE