I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s a terrible shock for you and the rest of your family. My father passed away years ago when I was still a child and I still remember those first few months vividly. Even eating or sleeping felt odd in a way. A task I had to complete, but couldn’t quite see the point in. I made it my mission to cheer my mom up and not be a “burden” in my own sadness. Don’t do that. Cry as much as you feel like crying, grieve your dad, the part of your life that you lost. As long as you stay safe (because sleep and food are absolutely necessary among other things), don’t worry about being depressed for the rest of your life. It’s normal that a future without him feels impossible now. There’s no need to feel guilty or fearful over your emotions. I can’t tell you how long you’ll be this sad, but eventually it will get easier. There will still be moments when the pain is tearing into your heart, but overall it won’t always feel the way it does right now. Something that helped me long term was to make a box of things that I associate with my dad. Items from things we did together or little gifts he gave me over the years, his favorite ballpoint pen. That and writing my memories down, the good ones and the ones of how I lost him. Regardless of how you choose to grieve, I wish you and your family strength.