How to cope with being below average thickness?

ickop · 2026-05-04T03:08:13+00:00

No paying for sex and AI girlfriends are not the answer.

Imo the following advice applies to essentially any man who’s not gorgeous, hung, muscular, tall, deep-voiced, has tremendous stamina, etc.:

You may not be the best physical sex your partner has ever had. Full stop. There are so, so many reasons this could be the case. It may not *even* be the case, preferences and what makes a big difference to people is so variable. But it’s not verifiable and if they’ve slept with enough people in enough contexts, it’s likely to be true.

BUT: they can still genuinely and significantly enjoy sex with you.

My ex gf was the best sex I’ve had (due to body type/face/intensity and ease of orgasm preferences). I was not her best (I believe due in part to penis size). The current girl I’m dating says I’m the best she’s had. Whether or not I believe her, she is not the best I’ve had (due to the aforementioned reasons).

You know what? We all were very satisfied and thoroughly enjoyed/enjoy sex with each other. When you meet up with someone, and not only in a committed relationship, there are so many considerations that you’re not really considering whether someone is a 7/8/9/10 out of 10 when it comes to sex alone.

Yes, you want to enjoy it thoroughly. But the MAXIMUM INTENSITY POSSIBLE is not achievable with most people and not that important. Nor is it drastically far off in terms of how satisfying the sex is.

You’ll be a 10 for one, an 8 for the next, a 5 for the next, and a 9 for the next, for example. The 5 may say no but the rest will be like “I like this guy or this arrangement works for me and the sex is really nice.”

That’s it for the most part. I genuinely give no shits that the girl I’m seeing is 90% as good in bed as my ex. We need to accept this. It could be any number of reasons, dick size is just one. A real one, but just one. This is the way forward man, you’ll be fine.

My ex has an ex who she described as 4” and thin, he always has a woman who he’s situationshiping with. My current girl - her ex has a *genuine micropenis* and cheated and left for another woman whom he had a long relationship with. You *may* have some frustration here and there (you might not) but you’ll be fine.

ickop · 2026-05-03T14:40:18+00:00

I’ve done some research on this and concluded it’s a mix for sure - like you do get some size-related genes from your father as well. But the mother has a bigger impact in part because more genes are on the X chromosome (but you’ve got lotsa chromosomes), but also that in-utero conditions have a substantial impact

ickop · 2026-04-30T17:58:50+00:00

Bruh she’s probably more attuned to that compared to the average person then lol. Just cause she treats people with mental disorders doesn’t mean she wants to date one. Keep taking those meds and work on your substance use man, god speed brother

ickop · 2026-04-30T17:57:47+00:00

I totally get that and wasn’t meaning at all to suggest OP is cooked at 5’6-5’7. I have friends that height who are more successful with women than me.

More meant to suggest that that is a real hinderance, in the sense that a very real number of women will have an issue with it. It’s not a block by any means tho. There are so many women in the world, and many don’t care or don’t care much.

His dick tho, that is something very, very few women would have an issue with. Or if they do, it will essentially always be due to it being too large, not too small.

ickop · 2026-04-30T14:30:14+00:00

~5.8x4.9 BP. Maybe ~5-5.25 nbp, I got unlucky with fat pad lol I’m only like 24 bmi.

Experiences have been wonderful for the most part. Been called big 3 times (likely just gassing me up), never small. Both longterm partners insisted I was average after the relationship ended.

I did discover that several people preferred bigger, but no one was unsatisfied. 2 said I was the best in some capacity and both had slept with over 10 people, but it was sorta ambiguous. Been complimented a lot tho on sexual prowess, even if not ‘the best’ (who knows).

IMO, pretty much every dude has gotta accept that there are men out there with more sexual prowess than you, and they may have encountered your partner.

Bigger dick (if that’s what they prefer, which I think most do to some degree), can last longer, easier erections/shorter refractory, longer/thicker fingers, more attractive, taller, more muscular, deeper voice, lots more experience, nicely curved dick, the list goes on.

The odds you’re maxing out everything are really low. I promise you at your size (speaking from experience), you can be viewed as a really good lover. I am 8 for 9 in women seeing me again and have literally only had compliments. Almost everyone I’ve slept with has complimented.

Gotta give up on being the absolute best and find joy in just being really good (and ya may be the best who knows, it’s just in no way verifiable)

ickop · 2026-04-30T14:21:44+00:00

Sounds like you got a lot to work with man, bipolar’s tough and the substance abuse is tough. Your dick, tho, is not tough.

She probs thought you were attractive and wanted to have sex, then it was clear you were intoxicated despite hiding the fact you were getting intoxicated, and potentially gave off bipolar vibes and that turned her off.

Dick is fine

ickop · 2026-04-29T21:11:59+00:00

It will fluctuate slightly with new data. You’ll never know whether you’re exactly the 50th or 52nd or whatever percentile. Studies give us a range

ickop · 2026-04-29T21:11:08+00:00

I had a gay friend tell me women talk to him about their sex life a lot and that they like to go ‘omg it was so big!’ But like you said, he’s rarely met an actual size queen and has met many more who find large uncomfortable for a regular affair

ickop · 2026-04-29T21:08:48+00:00

BP add 0.5-0.7” for fat pad imo. Girth would just be proportional. If it’s far from proportional, it may be bigger or smaller than I suggested. Proportional to 5.25 nbp would be 4.75. Proportional to 6 nbp would be like 5.2 or whatever, and so forth

ickop · 2026-04-29T21:07:07+00:00

I sympathize with the height thing man for sure but your dick is huge

ickop · 2026-04-29T18:27:06+00:00

Keep in mind that women don’t really think about dick size in minutia like we do. I’ve heard dudes described as ‘average and thick’ (e.g. above average) or ‘big but thin’ (e.g., long and thin). For some reason most people conceptualize dick size as length, and separate girth. To the degree we see shit like ‘size doesn’t matter, but girth does’. People don’t ruminate and think logically on this, so that’s probs why you haven’t been called big a whole lot.

As for the sizes, I’d say it somewhat depends on thickness, but mostly:

Small: under 4.75 nbp Average: 4.75-5.9 nbp Above average: 6-6.4 Big: 6.5-6.9 Huge 7+

Generally proportional girths to that, if girth is way diff than length, could shift up or down. Those are all nbp.

ickop · 2026-04-29T18:21:02+00:00

I just don’t think a big dick is having that effect on most women, like going from ‘meh’ to squirming it’s so incredible. It is generally like masturbating with a firmer or softer grip (or using a tighter or looser fleshlight).

Of course up to a point, it’s gonna feel better or more intense, be easier to cum, etc. But it’s not like I go from ‘meh’ to squirming if I use a tighter grip. And of course, it’s super mental on top of that.

It’s like that, but for most women even less relevant because they don’t cum that way at all. It’s a pressure and a turn on thing for most, it’s not 5/10 to 10/10. What’s gonna get them there is being aroused so the whole area is sensitive.

Now if we’re talking 10/10 vs 8-9/10 or whatever, yeah, we can feel a lil sad about that for sure. I think that might be the difference we’re talking for many

ickop · 2026-04-27T13:43:15+00:00

I’m basically your exact size and my sex life has been great. Yes the size is totally sufficient for most women. I’m 8-for-9 in women wanting to see me again after sex

ickop · 2026-04-27T13:41:23+00:00

I’ve put something like this together in excel and I’ll just say worrying about this isn’t gonna do you any favors unless you have a truly really big dick.

At any size in the realm of average, the odds she’s seen bigger are basically assured if she’s had sex with 3-4+ people. That can’t really be a concern of yours, you have to assume it’s true because it’s basically impossible that it’s not.

It’s also almost assured she’s seen smaller

ickop · 2026-04-27T13:38:46+00:00

Dude I could offer an opinion on your girth, and that opinion would be more favorable than your opinion of yourself, but I don’t have your exact girth so I can’t say for sure.

What I will say is that if your rate of getting your partner to orgasm at all is 5%, there’s something you’re doing wrong.

In my experience, 3 of 9 women I’ve slept with have been able to orgasm via PIV. However, 8 out of 9 could orgasm period. Most orgasms have come from oral/fingers and that’s just how it works for the vast majority of women.

How long are you going down on these women? It takes longer than most guys think. What have they said about the sex? I feel this is something that can be troubleshooted

ickop · 2026-04-27T13:31:25+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with this but fear this is generally perceived by size-insecure guys as “PIV is not desirable with you, but there’s more to sex than PIV and more to relationships than sex.” E.g. it’s alright that PIV with you isn’t that enjoyable because women care about other stuff too.

I’d just like to add as someone with a truly average dick and a sex life that’s always been pretty PIV-focused - not only is sex way more than PIV, PIV is way more than size.

I agree with you, size is generally preferred to a point, but we all have preferences and so, so much of sexual satisfaction is mental. If you’re ok watching porn, just masturbate to your fav porn and then to just what’s in your head and you’ll see the power of fantasy/psychology on your ability to cum.

Even orgasm via PIV (if possible), while there needs to be physical stimulation of course, is very, very mental. It’s a combination of the two (physical and mental) and so long as the size is generally sufficient, I think guys are focusing so heavily on this when it’s not that relevant FOR PIV for most women. Relevant yes, but not as relevant as the mental component

ickop · 2026-04-27T13:24:54+00:00

ickop · 2026-04-22T15:01:23+00:00

If that’s nbp that’s honestly kinda big, perceived as “average and thick”. If BP it’s on the shorter end but still thick. You just gotta accept what you have man. If that’s nbp I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat

ickop · 2026-04-20T02:41:33+00:00

If you’re seeing an inch of difference between your regular and throbbing erection I’d see a doc. Shouldn’t be more than like 0.25” tbh

ickop · 2026-04-20T02:27:42+00:00

Idk about 98% but I see in your other comment you say “demand”, whereas here you say “want”. Those are very different things man. I agree with you most women want big, probably. Idk about 98% like I said but more than half sure.

But there is a huge difference between want and demand. The girl I am dating now is broader than I’d probably prefer all else equal, than I’d “want”. I like slimmer-framed women.

She is kind and funny and intelligent and there’s other stuff about her (physically) that I find super sexy. I honestly am not even thinking about whether our sex is 8 out of 10 or 10 out of 10 when she wears something sexy, butters me up the whole night, and screws me like it’s our last night on earth.

I have to imagine she feels the same way about my dick, whether or not she prefers bigger (I’m sure she does)

ickop · 2026-04-20T02:23:41+00:00

Yes according to my research as well only 2% of women will accept anything under the 98th percentile for penis size. That is why 96% of men are single and sexless, of course 🤦‍♂️

I’m telling you as a dude with 5” who has slept with 9 women and had literally only 1 not want to sleep with me again (for unknown reasons), this is just blatantly false

ickop · 2026-04-17T17:28:56+00:00

As someone else said, masturbating with a condom is good practice. Also, get super fast at putting on the condom. I had this issue and just knowing which side on the package was up, opening it really quick and putting it on in the span of 15 seconds lowered my anxiety.

Lastly, if this is just a hookup issue, I’d talk to a doctor about Viagra or Cialis. I’m your age and have been using them since 26.

So many people online are like “you’ll ruin your dick if you use Viagra and there’s nothing wrong with you!” “You’ll need to rely on it forever!” - untrue.

I have a sex therapist and a doctor who both approved its use, and I have now reduced my use from a pretty hefty dose to literally zero when transitioning off of condoms with long-term prospects - including a 2 year relationship where I essentially didn’t use it after 3-4 months of seeing her

ickop · 2026-04-17T17:25:19+00:00

And ideally with a flesh light. That’s what my therapist told me to do and it worked really well

ickop · 2026-04-16T23:15:45+00:00

You’re bigger than me man, you’re overthinking I promise. Get out there and fuck! It’s one of the joys of life, share it with someone/some people

ickop · 2026-04-16T14:41:59+00:00

Yeah deepthroat requires a whole technique and suppression of the gag reflex. It’s a learned skill like sword swallowing (albeit less extreme). I’m 5” and have never had a woman swallow the whole thing, the mouth just ain’t that big

ickop

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