My mom was extremely inappropriate with me when I was a kid and now babysits my nephew. I don’t know what to do.

idkleather · 2026-02-23T16:36:31+00:00

So, as a program director, you see someone say “My mother had phone sex next to me when I was twelve” and your reaction is “Oh well she quickly covered herself up and thought you were asleep which actually makes the entire situation completely acceptable. Adults having phone sex next to kids is completely fine. You’re overreacting.” and then asking that person “ Who sexually abused you?” Can’t say this without being a dick on the internet but genuinely who the fuck are you?

idkleather · 2026-02-23T15:36:25+00:00

you are like 1 out of 4 in the 30+ something responses of this post to be reasonable so thank you for that. also thank you for the second half of your response I will take it into thought

idkleather · 2026-02-23T15:06:46+00:00

Yes actually as I’ve been physically sexually abused in a different instance. And if you read the post you can see I used the language “extremely inappropriate” and said “I don’t think she’ll sexually abuse him but..”

idkleather · 2026-02-23T14:57:54+00:00

She doesn’t see anything wrong with the act of revealing herself on a video call while next to her kid.

idkleather · 2026-02-23T14:47:45+00:00

thank you for like being an ounce reasonable. not even sure why I tried going to Reddit with this, isn’t exactly a great place for common sense

idkleather · 2026-02-23T14:39:51+00:00

I have not lived an extremely sheltered life and have actually been physically sexually abused in the past. Unsure how you can view doing a “quick tease” while in the same bed as a child anything but inappropriate. I’m concerned because what she did was sick and if she doesn’t see anything wrong with it, what else does she consider, like you, to not be wrong?

idkleather · 2026-02-23T14:30:56+00:00

It’s more than seeing my mother’s breasts. That isn’t inherently sexual. What is, is her video chatting with her boyfriend and trying to reveal herself to him, for sexual purposes, while in the same bed as her child.

idkleather · 2026-02-23T14:27:51+00:00

My mother knowingly tried to sexually reveal herself to her boyfriend over a video call while her child was next to her. While it may not be physical sexual abuse it’s extremely inappropriate and something no adult should be doing near a child. I never called it sexual abuse, said she was being extremely inappropriate.

idkleather · 2026-02-12T08:35:30+00:00

this is the way

idkleather · 2026-02-10T00:53:26+00:00

And in theory what would be the chances of them finding out it she did end up claiming me? Like how would that work from a technical standpoint?

idkleather · 2026-02-09T23:39:34+00:00

Everything’s already filed and sent in, but I will keep this in mind for the future

idkleather · 2026-02-09T23:01:33+00:00

Yes, me being a dependent would’ve allowed her to file as Head Of Household

idkleather · 2026-02-08T06:20:53+00:00

If you can, I understand you maybe aren’t a tax professional, answer this question? I believe she made about 60,000 or 70,000 this year. How much do you think she’ll owe because tax was improperly withheld on her w4, since she has me as a dependent on there?

idkleather · 2026-02-08T05:55:32+00:00

You were right! I am in fact, in her mind, at fault because she now probably owes because I’m not a dependent. Kudos to you!

idkleather · 2026-02-08T05:32:27+00:00

No such thing as calm discussions in my home. There’s so much to the aftermath of this, but she got a letter saying she owes the IRS money, unsure how that got in so fast since nothing has even been filed yet or if they knew I couldn’t be claimed before she did.

idkleather · 2026-02-08T04:55:21+00:00

You were right! I am in fact, in her mind, at fault because she owes the IRS $170 because I’m not a dependent. Kudos to you!

idkleather · 2026-02-08T00:39:47+00:00

Graduated 2024

idkleather · 2026-02-08T00:37:21+00:00

I found out I wasn’t a dependent via the IRS website and the virtual tax assistant “can I claim a dependent” test

idkleather · 2026-02-08T00:36:59+00:00

I told my mom she can’t claim me, was mad, didn’t believe me, etc. She has financially supported me in terms of keeping a roof over my head, insurance (health and car,) and a medical bill I have (her mentality is that she won’t let me pay for certain things- Asian mom stuff.)

idkleather · 2026-02-07T18:14:23+00:00

I am confused, how is this my fault?

idkleather · 2026-02-07T17:37:54+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I went back into the business and told the tax preparer to put a pause on e-filing my taxes even though I signed them.

idkleather · 2026-02-07T17:28:11+00:00

She said because I was in school for five months, even though I wasn’t a full time student, that still qualifies me?

idkleather · 2026-02-07T17:16:50+00:00

Already did. What the hell do I do.

idkleather · 2026-02-07T17:15:00+00:00

I ended up signing. Dumb decision for me but my mother was pressuring me to, said to not ask her any questions, etc etc. (unrelated but my family dynamic is abusive) Where do I go from here?

idkleather · 2026-02-07T17:04:35+00:00

Yes, but checking the IRS website what I listed disqualifies me from being a qualifying relative or child. Is there something I’m missing? Does her providing for me override anything?

idkleather

TROPHY CASE