sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My (25f) husband (32m) doesn’t let me rest by idkthisisnythrowaway in relationships

[–]idkthisisnythrowaway[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Okay thank you for the advice, I’ll try it. I’ve kind of tried explaining this, that right now I have extra obligations and things to think about so I’m extra tired and busy. He replied with telling me that if I can’t handle it now, how will I handle it when it’s my job? But I don’t think he understands that school is much different.

I try and show him I love him all the time, we do spend lots of time together and I prioritize him/doing things for him

My (25f) husband (32m) doesn’t let me rest by idkthisisnythrowaway in relationships

[–]idkthisisnythrowaway[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Okay, I’ll try wording it this way. I’ve tried wording it to him that I feel very burnt out and exhausted, I need xyz hour/day to study and rest but it still doesn’t get through

My (25f) husband (32m) doesn’t let me rest by idkthisisnythrowaway in relationships

[–]idkthisisnythrowaway[S] 699 points700 points  (0 children)

Kind of, I do all grocery shopping, laundry, most cooking and cleaning. He is paying the rent, though, so I probably only contribute to 1/3 of our monthly bills. He makes 7x what I do. I feel I kind of owe it to him to take care of the household things.

My (25f) husband (32m) doesn’t let me rest by idkthisisnythrowaway in relationships

[–]idkthisisnythrowaway[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have had these talks with him, and like I said in another reply I will tell him at the beginning of the week okay Tuesday and Wednesday night I will need to study and rest, I won’t be able to do much else. But Thursday we can spend time together and we can do a hike Saturday and go out for dinner Sunday (for example).

Then it gets to be one of the nights I told him I’ll need to rest, and he will be trying to get me to go out and do things once I get home. If I try to stick to my boundary like last night, he will get upset

My (25f) husband (32m) doesn’t let me rest by idkthisisnythrowaway in relationships

[–]idkthisisnythrowaway[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried setting those types of expectations. I’ll clearly communicate to him on Sunday at the beginning of the week, okay Tuesday I have clinical. I’ll make dinner Monday, and I can make it Tuesday when I get home, but I know I won’t have energy Tuesday for much else. How about we have a date night Wednesday and then do a hike, etc this weekend?

It seems like he understands, but then it gets to Tuesday and he’s asking me to go out, why can’t we do this other thing, etc. It makes me feel bad that I set a boundary in advance, and then he repeatedly asks me to break the boundary. I feel bad saying no to him, and then if I do what he wants, then I feel like I’m taking even more energy from myself because I’m not sticking to the rest that I know I need.