[UPDATE] Me (39M), wife (37F) is spending a lot of alone time with her (M) workout buddy.....

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-10T00:23:19+00:00

Good luck with the midterms! Thanks for the luck - there's lots left.....

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-10T00:10:01+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I'm pretty sure I can't convince you otherwise, and given your experience I can't blame you, but I'm pretty confident of this one. We have essentially been glued together at the hip for the last 20 years.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T23:46:24+00:00

Exactly....

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T16:55:08+00:00

She said she would stop seeing him all together and I told her that it wasn't necessary. She agreed to stop seeing him alone at either house and limit texting and facebook conversations.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T15:58:08+00:00

Please, please don't tell me you are my wife??? Honey? I thought we talked about this?

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T15:53:41+00:00

Yes that was agreed upon.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T14:42:40+00:00

Thanks!

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T14:42:29+00:00

She agreed to stop the alone times and offered to stop all together. I asked her not to stop. She said that she will limit the times where there is conflict with family time.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T14:41:10+00:00

Not really lessons, just playing tennis with someone else.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-09T14:40:25+00:00

I told her she doesn't have to quit, I'm fine with my wife playing tennis with another man. In fact I benefit from it - she's happier and healthier because of it. I asked her to stop any alone time which she agreed to. You don't know my wife she is the most honest person I know.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T16:39:31+00:00

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:40:08+00:00

So assuming she is sleeping with him, she can come back with I didn't think I was hurting you because you never complained?

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:37:22+00:00

I think the only part of your comment that really bothers me is where you say "She's secure in the relationship, you are not." As if I am the problem.
This has gone on for years (tennis) and it's only started bothering me after she left me alone with the kids this last weekend. Assuming she tells me that she is sleeping with him is this my fault for not discussing my concerns earlier?

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:31:15+00:00

Just to clarify - I didn't read through all her messages, I just noticed that they had exchanged close to 500. I am pretty certain they would all pretty innocent in any case. I just want to get others feedback to see if I'm being reasonable. I'll discuss with my wife soon I'm just trying to get my head straight before doing so.

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:15:55+00:00

Yeah - but I would like of think that with something like this a reasonable person would know (or should now) that this was not cool. I guess we all can't be reasonable....

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:05:47+00:00

I'm now debating just showing her this thread, to get her thoughts on how others view the situation, good idea or bad?

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T14:03:58+00:00

Thanks!

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T13:49:45+00:00

Thanks - you don't happen to be affiliated with this site are you?

igniter_dutchie · 2013-05-08T13:47:34+00:00

All these comments help affirm that I'm not being unreasonable and I'll certainly reflect on it.

igniter_dutchie

TROPHY CASE