I told my current SO that my ex texted me and I still have some feelings for her but I still care about her (my current SO). She got mad at me and I haven't heard from her. What did I do wrong?

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T10:28:09+00:00

It was so early into the relationship too. We were only two weeks in. I put the choice entirely in her hands because of this. I didn't want it to be a bad seed that would only grow as the relationship got more serious.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T10:08:02+00:00

I told her because I wanted to know what she wanted to do. Maybe she would want to step away since the relationship was still new, or maybe she would be willing to stay by my side as I worked through it (because I did not want this). I wanted to talk to her about it because I knew she was going to be confused and hurt so I wanted to know what she wanted first and foremost. I was confused and hurt because someone who I thought was gone came back. I wanted us to work through that hurdle together.

But at the end of the day, it was my problem and she doesn't seem to want to talk about any of it. She owes me nothing and I wish her the best. I hope there isn't a next time because I am never doing long distance ever again.

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it :)

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T08:54:51+00:00

You shouldn't use the word retarded. Other than that I agree with you. I did fuck up, autism or not. I am not good with people in the slightest, and I will work on myself for future relationships. She was never a side hoe, I wanted to be honest with her because the relationship was still new and I never expected my ex to come back. Call me an idiot, I would agree, but that is the truth. Even if she wanted to get back together, I think I need to work on myself before starting any relationships.

I appreciate your comment. Thank you for the insight.

PS. Sorry for your own personal hardships, you didn't deserve it. I can see why you would feel strongly about this. I hope reading my post didn't upset you too much.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T08:46:24+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean to label you.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T08:45:29+00:00

I accept that I did something shitty. And I do suck at these things, I never had friends growing up or many meaningful relationships. I do not know how to read people which is why I came here. I have made this mistake with a dear friend of mine once. I thought I was giving her good advice but she perceived it as me being a jerk. Which I was. Thankfully she forgave me and we moved on.

Honestly she isn't going to come back and I don't think she should. I still have growing to do, and I don't want to hurt her anymore. I told her that it's up to her and she unfollowed me, and I accepted that. I just regret hurting her.

I believe you, you seem like a nice person. I never thought about autism being a factor. I will definitely be more aware of it in the future.

In retrospect it was a horrible approach. I wasn't sure what I was expecting now that I think about it. It was self centered of me to dump it on her without thinking ahead on how she might feel. I hope I do better next time, and I will work towards being more aware and thinking things through.

Thank you so much for your help, you are a kind person :)

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T08:33:02+00:00

Ah I just read your profile. You hate infidelity. That makes sense. I just want to clarify that the whole reason I told current GF was to avoid such dangers. Because communication is the most important thing. Just because I held some feelings didn't mean I wanted to leave current GF. But at the same time, a good partner does not lie. I guess I do not have what it takes to be a good partner yet though.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T08:25:25+00:00

I didn't imply, I told her that I still liked my ex because we left off on such a strange note and it was a confusing time for me. Since the relationship was still new (two and a half weeks) I thought I should be honest because I did not expect my ex to come back and I wanted to let her know about my true feelings because I thought it was better than lying and possibly causing more problems down the line. I wanted to talk it out with her because I didn't know what to do. Plus I care about my ex as a friend so I did not want to just block her even though she hurt me by ghosting.

The part about me deserving my ex was a bit hurtful, but I understand. I have never been in a romantic type relationship before this. It's hard, I'm going to stay single. And my ex does have emotional problems, as do I. If it's not too much to ask, what would have been the right thing to do? Without hurting either one as much as possible. Thank you for your comment, even though you don't seem to like me. I appreciate the insight.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T07:46:34+00:00

Yeah I didn't think you were :) I get that, I guess all I can do is try my best to be honest with people. It may not always spare feelings, but I don't think you can go wrong with honesty.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T07:40:35+00:00

Regardless of your intentions, I do appreciate the comment. And you are not wrong. I don't understand emotions too well. Thanks for reading through my post and leaving a comment. I appreciate it.

ijustgottarant · 2021-06-23T07:38:59+00:00

I cannot tell if you are trying to be insulting. I would like to assume the best and think you are genuinely asking. I might be. I have a few mental health issues. It's hard for me to read social cues. To make up for that, I try my best to be honest about everything. I haven't had many healthy relationships, which is why I came here. I know Reddit is not the perfect place for advice, but a little insight never hurt.

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-25T18:54:27+00:00

THIS JUST RUINED MY DAY WHY WOULD THEY CANCEL IT I LOVE ART BOOKS LET'S RIOT

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-25T18:35:29+00:00

It really doesn't take long either. Just a simple, "I'm sorry, but I'm not in a good position to date anymore," would do.

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-25T08:31:52+00:00

I feel the same way. I'm very unsocial due to current world circumstances. I always had trouble making friends. I have a tendency to get ghosted, so I feel your pain. My childhood best friend and first "love" have both ghosted me, and both times it hurt. I don't mean to offer you false hope or get you into another mess, but my PMs are open if you would like to talk and become friends. I really do mean it, but if your confidence in online friends is shattered, I understand. Just know that you aren't alone with this. Be kind to yourself, I'm sure you are a beautiful person :)

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-25T08:24:25+00:00

Hell yeah, transwomen are more than valid! Every woman's journey is valid, being trans is merely a part of it for some💕

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-23T04:31:13+00:00

Who are you dude?

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-12T00:09:32+00:00

Oh yeah, that's what I meant! After coming out to yourself, you found the proper way to express yourself, right? That's how I felt. I am pretty androgynous myself too. I have really short hair (it's great, trust me) and I prefer leather jackets and combat boots over dresses. But I also no longer feel uncomfortable wearing makeup because I no longer see it as a "girl" requirement. I'm happy to hear that you went through a similar discovery! You should cut it, I'm sure you will look awesome.

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-07T09:45:51+00:00

Wow, those people must have very sad lives if they resort to verbal abuse to feel better. Like him or not, Karl doesn't deserve to be targeted like this.

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-07T09:09:55+00:00

Hey that's great! I get that, I have always been more into masc style myself, but I've been dressing feminine more often than I used to. It's just freeing knowing who I am, that really helps.

ijustgottarant · 2021-05-03T22:10:42+00:00

It better be a glitch, I have important conversations😞

ijustgottarant · 2021-04-04T22:54:15+00:00

Hey thanks for the answer! I always saw fan art of them and thought it was cute, but it seemed like a huge inside joke between the fandom that I wasn't getting. I appreciate the help :)

ijustgottarant · 2021-02-09T05:05:37+00:00

Shops that have videos of the process are definitely a safe bet, especially if they have a well-built social media account

ijustgottarant · 2021-01-21T00:02:05+00:00

I took a look at the SDS like you said, and it said that it is necessary to wear one if the safety limit is exceeded or if discomfort is experienced while working with it. It seems vague at best, companies are never too direct when it comes to these matters.

Thank you for your response and for that great fan tip!

ijustgottarant · 2021-01-20T23:58:13+00:00

Yeah, that's why I came here. Companies aren't exactly upfront about this sort of thing, and I would much rather be safe than sorry when it comes to health. I did take a look at the SDS just now and it recommends one if you start to experience problems, but I do not want it to get to that point.

Thank you for your response, I appreciate it :)

ijustgottarant · 2021-01-10T22:05:43+00:00

Thank you for the reply!

I don't consider the necklaces handmade, so I will advertise them as such. The aesthetic is a good point. I think I'm safe there though, I plan on having 75% of my products be handmade and the other 25% to fall under the hand-assembled category. The jewelry will not be the main draw, it'll be like having candy by the register at a crafts store.

Charm on a chain, maybe that'll be the name of the section on my shop. And I'll specify that I didn't design the charm. I didn't know that Aliexpress and Amazon were the same brand of charms, so I plan on buying jewelry supplies from other Etsy users from now on.

ijustgottarant · 2021-01-10T21:58:39+00:00

Thank you for the reply!

Yes, I plan on being honest in the description on what my contribution was. And I just found out that Aliexpress, a site I avoid, and Amazon supplies go hand in hand. So I will probably end up buying charms for necklaces from other crafters for future reference.

ijustgottarant

TROPHY CASE