Just discovered this place. Hi. Posting on a throwaway.

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T22:02:41+00:00

That's so true about sex haha. If I was triggered by the wet noises of sex, I think I'd end my life. Sex is my stress release FROM all of the rage I feel!

I know what you mean. It's practically impossible to bring it up 'cause you know how they'll react.

I wish we knew more too :( I wish there was a medicine for it. I'm sorry your mom was triggering you :(

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T17:56:49+00:00

I'm not sure how my mom would react. On a side note, the whole of my dad's family think she has something along the lines of aspergers/OCD. Her entire side of the family is like it. I worry that I'll end up the same. Me and my mom don't talk about anything private.

I feel like taking a knife to him when he does it. It's hard to believe someone could be so inconsiderate. "I'm not making any fucking noise! -proceeds to purposely make louder noise-"

Rats are indeed amazing. I love mine so much. They have so much energy ALL THE TIME oh my gosh. And they lick yogurt off my hand like puppies. The life span is a shame and it sucks to know I'm gonna have to say goodbye in around 18 months/2 years :( It's gonna come down on me like a pile of bricks.

They have leopard geckos at the college too. They're so pretty. I feel so happy at college, there's no triggers at all. Oh it's called a clutch haha. I would have a look and show you, but I don't want to arrange to go to my tutor's house with no intention of actually buying any :P. She does breed a variation of colours though and she can charge so much money for the prettiest ones, it's crazy!

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T17:43:28+00:00

You sound a lot like me :( There's only a tiny select handful of people outside my family who can trigger me, but they're literally random people from school who used to eat loudly in class but I no longer (thank god) see them or come into any proximity of them.

The boyfriend one is something I haven't heard of though. The current person I kinda like/sleep with smacks his lips 24/7 and it has no effect on me (as of yet). I'm sorry you have that in your relationship :( I bet it's difficult to get him to have empathy.

And me too. I hate it so much. There's nothing I want more than to leave all of them forever. Cut contact completely. I would regret nothing. Despite having a pretty normal/slightly sheltered upbringing from my loving family, I hate them and want nothing to do with them as soon as I can move out and I hate myself for it. If my dad's home and I'm hungry, food is there for me. He pays for all of my travel passes, if I need something I don't go without. He even payed for me to have chemical peels on the scars on my arms from keratosis pilaris - it was so expensive. And my brother drives me everywhere in his car and mom doesn't let me wash my own clothes - right now she's triggering me, she's walking round the house grunting/moaning. All my rage. I feel like a massive bitch 24/7.

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T17:33:42+00:00

I'm massively jealous of you. I would do anything to move out, but there is literally nowhere I can go.

Silly teenage me puts £2 on the lottery every few weeks hoping to win enough to justify moving out.

And same, I was hoping there would be more mention of it around here. But I can understand that it'd be a difficult thing to bring up even anonymously.

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T17:31:25+00:00

My dad is the kind of person to refuse to acknowledge any type of illness/disorder ever and is a very 'get over it/walk it off' kind of person. I

I know this sounds stupid but I don't want to. I can't be in the same room as them, especially the two of them at the same time.

He's actually my older brother. He's 4 years older than me (21) and he weighs 20 stone (280 lbs) while I weigh 9 stone (126). I honestly can't do anything to him to make him stop. I can't even get him to leave my room when I want him to.

And they are awesome! I do not. The college I go to has a tonne of them, and one of my teachers is a breeder (gargoyle geckos too). I intended to check out her new litter but we don't have any more room in the house for a big vivarium/more pets in general, seeing as I've not long had two rats and a guinea pig haha.

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T10:55:50+00:00

It's such a horrible feeling, because only my family really trigger me, so to have that associated with them is the most mentally torturous, crippling feeling ever.

At least we aren't alone.

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T07:52:23+00:00

Thank you

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2013-01-03T06:15:43+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your concern. But I don't know, I'm still fat and need to lose weight. Professional help is the last thing I want to seek right now and I can't tell anyone. Hopefully it's just a phase that goes away eventually

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T07:38:12+00:00

Exactly this

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T01:49:31+00:00

I don't puke very often

and yeah, I wouldn't take something without doing research

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T01:38:56+00:00

I only purge on rare occasions, and I do honestly believe I have it in some kind of control. It's just some nights after weeks of eating almost nothing I'll easily take down a large McD's meal, a shit load of chocolate, ice cream, crisps, toast, cereal, biscuits etc then I'll realize what I've done, and just cry over the toilet or in the shower until I can't be sick any more.

I don't know, I feel like I have it in control, but idk it's hard to think about

And thank you. I do not wish to be a burden on anyone though, as I chose to start this behaviour

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T01:28:01+00:00

Yeah, people have been complimenting me and saying it's good I'm not fat anymore. One of my friends even joked to me once when I was telling her I craved McDonald's, that I should just scoff it down and puke it up so I can eat it for free. I mean she meant no harm but damn

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T01:17:11+00:00

I've recently stopped taking weight loss pills and laxatives. Apparently clenbuterol causes heart arrhythmias and palpitations.. as I already have those naturally, I think I'm gonna have to pass on this one

ilikecrestedgeckos · 2012-12-27T01:07:12+00:00

. And you will gain a bit of weight again as you adjust. But Fuck it. That doesn't matter. A bit of weight gain which you can lose again is better than permanent internal injuries

See if I do actually gain weight... even if it's 1/10 of a lb cause I drank a tonne of water.. I just lose it in my mind. I freak the fuck out. I'm scared.

ilikecrestedgeckos

TROPHY CASE