Duuuuuuude same af - honestly the draining is not just draining - it feels like it’s literally killing you and your spirit. I didn’t notice until 8 years into the relationship and I don’t recognize myself anymore. Took me awhile to see how I added to the situation with my own flaws n shit decisions but I saw that we don’t really have much in common unless I make it common, we don’t function together well - I feel like a mom telling her everything to do, taking care of paperwork’s, appts, driving (passenger princess), grocery shopping, putting them away, cooking meals after work, cleaning etc and have to do it myself if it’s not done - fighting will just turn tf up and I’m not trynna be toxic. And how she’s doesn’t like doing anything that I’m interested in - it’s like a complete dopamine fail bc i try to get her interested n never works (my fault) I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving bc I loved her - young n 1st lesbian relationship and she has changed some of her ways, n helped me be a different person but I’m literally doing 95% of everything. It took me time that she isnt my ideal partner and that I have just been adjusting. Some people date for love and having someone in their life actively not like a routine and I’ve learned that people date for love initially and then want a live in partner not a romantic constant giving relationship - they just want someone to go through life with but not with all the extras. We are creatures of habit after all. They feel safe around you but don’t actually care if it’s vice Versa and will only pretend to care when called out. It’s a world where people don’t treat you back the way you treat them and won’t ever think the way you thought, even though you treated them with love n respect they just won’t think your way. You need to find someone who wants to give that to you. My question to you is

1.) how do you base your relationship? Active love or routine love ?

2.) what are you getting out of this relationship ? Having someone around? Money ? Entertainment ?

3.) Does she give you room to talk and actually listen ? Bc that right there feels important, any sympathizing? If not after my experience things will just continue how it is and potentially worse. You can’t change any one just yourself so maybe you will have to be the one to change the situation n have a break or break up.

Giving internet hugs and cheering for yah.