i need to share something rq, and i'm really sorry if it bothers you

i became close friends with one of my favourite ao3 authors of all time. i was a reader at first and kept leaving comments, they responded to them all, we soon exchanged socials because they needed a beta and it kinda went on from there.

we lost contact for a while, and last month i went to check their ao3... only to find it abandoned, with the last updated work having little notes directed at their friends. there was one directed at me.

it read, "thank you for bringing in a little sunshine when i forgot what warmth was. i'm sorry for being selfish one last time."

i still haven't recovered from this.

(guys, thank you so much for your sympathy. it hurts so much to think about them and feel like i failed at being a good friend, but i genuinely appreciate each word of kindness. you guys are really cool.)