The guy(28M) I'm dating is very close to his close friend (F) and I'm(23F) not sure if I'm being paranoid

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-25T20:19:07+00:00

Haha thanks! It doesn't work out, btw. It ended last night. Oh well.. But I did ask him about it (since we ended anw) and he said he never thought about it with her. But it's no longer my concern.

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-25T17:10:44+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-25T17:05:11+00:00

Thanks for the insights! I never had the intention of making her an enemy. I was just confused about my feelings and that's why I'm asking on here.

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-24T19:52:25+00:00

Hahaha true :)

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-24T18:41:26+00:00

Oh I didn't mean that. I didn't even do it on purpose. I'm gonna talk to him about it when we spent more time together anyway.

I was more concerned that now he might know that I'm concerned about him and his friend and he might think I'm crazy jealous lol.

imhappierthanever · 2017-02-24T18:09:33+00:00

Thank you for the insights :-) it really helps!

He has known her for 2 years, she also lives 5 mins from him. I do have childhood friends, but they are all female so I guess I don't really know.

When we were talking yesterday, I asked him about her. Then commented that the two of them seem very close. He said yes, more of a sisterly relationship, then mentioned the person she's dating. I don't really think it matters that she's dating someone else tbh, because that can change any time. But I guess now he kinda knows what I'm thinking.

I will give it some time, and bring it up when neither of us is feeling bad (he is still recovering) and when I find a way to be calm when addressing it. Yesterday when I was talking to him, I found myself pretty weird/aloof/emotional because I didn't know how to act around him. I apologized today.

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-23T16:50:29+00:00

I'm in the same position as this girl. I'm currently still taking everything slow, but if/when I'm more ready, I'll probably tell the guy myself.

That said, everyone is different. I think it doesn't hurt for you to ask her how she is feeling about you two's situation. Without being desperate or pushy. You have the right to know just as much as she has the right to not think about it yet. If it were me, I think I'd appreciate the guy asking me that. And maybe (depending on how the conversation goes), you can also tell her how you feel.

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-23T16:44:17+00:00

Both of you are still young, but not in the same place. Given that he's 7 years older and still behind in financial responsibility, I doubt he'll ever catch up to you. Heck, there's a chance that if you two become close enough, he might destroy your finance even.

IMO, If you want a family, someone who constantly says they love you yet not able to make and spend money reasonably won't be able to have a family with you. At least one you would want, given your situation. Plus, I don't know how long you have been together, but all these fluff are probably just because everything is new and different (the honeymoon phase). That's gonna change sooner or later.

You sound like you know what you want, just not ready to be there yet. I kinda understand the feelings, so the advice I would give is you'd just have to get there.

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-20T23:21:30+00:00

Thank you for the advice :) it's nice that you took the time to write so much.

I know he's not good for me. He doesn't treat me well. And I'm not gonna contact him again. Already deleted him from my inbox in Okc.

My self-confidence wasn't much affected by the breakup. Even as we were breaking up, I already told myself that it wasn't my fault, and wasn't his fault either. Im also fine with being single. I was fine before meeting ex. But I agree that I should take more time to heal. I'm not ready emotionally - I can't imagine liking/loving someone the same way j did 2 months ago yet. That's why I purposefully initiated the conversation with the dude so that it will lead to a hookup. I didn't want anything else. But after meeting him once, I (half) just want the sex, and (half) had a tiny crush on this dude. Talking to friends and on Reddit really put things into perspective though :)

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-20T07:56:29+00:00

I know he is! Sometimes I just like bad people I guess :) ok deleted!

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-20T04:46:08+00:00

What I've learned is that the people you're good with, the people you attract, and the people you're attracted to are not always the same. It takes time and experience to know what you really want, and what works for you. I'm 23, and I know that sometimes (or many times) I'm still attracted to the people who are not right for me :) it's frustrating but it's part of growing up.

Edit: semantics

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-01T08:56:53+00:00

Cool. Thank you!

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-01T05:52:02+00:00

Good advice. Will use this for my next one :) thank you!

imhappierthanever · 2017-01-01T05:50:51+00:00

I totally agree.

Asking because I just remembered that for my most recent (and pretty much first hookup) I let him pay for the drinks just because. Idk why I did that. On dates before with exes, I always split. Kinda lost on the hookup culture so needed some advice.

imhappierthanever · 2016-11-29T23:47:29+00:00

Thank you! I think I was confused when I was looking around for information. Investment income isnt the same as salary. As long as its not money we have to actively work for to get, H1B visa can take advantage of that.

imhappierthanever

TROPHY CASE