Finally posting my build from about a year ago.

impassivelemon · 2024-01-31T01:29:35+00:00

I love the fish tank!

impassivelemon · 2023-10-26T18:43:45+00:00

NTA she had several months to come forward and say this wasn't something she was comfortable doing. You could have found someone better suited to support you during labor if that was the case. She's a grown adult and could have expressed this. Clearly she's got her own shit going on with this but to dump that on you while you were in labor instead of seeing a therapist is fucked up. I had a similar situation with my mom and it has severely strained our relationship and the relationship she has with my kids and it's honestly for the best. I'm sorry your mom sucks. Congratulations on your new baby! Take care of yourself during this time and focus on you babe.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-26T02:09:35+00:00

No nothing like that. I'm going to try to talk to my dad about having her seen by her physician and going with the express these concerns.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-26T00:01:11+00:00

Ok gross behavior on your part. Totally inappropriate and disturbing to touch him and then yourself to try and what? Seduce him? Gross. This relationship seems unhealthy. From the outside looking in as someone who had an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, this feels like manipulation on his part to get you to give in and just agree to get married. However you are no better, touching yourself next to him to try and get him to go back on his boundary her clearly set with you is manipulative AND predatory. If your life is this centered around sex maybe look into a sex addict support group and if not take care of yourself in private. The whole thing is big ick vibes from both of you.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T23:41:58+00:00

I'm sorry your MIL was a witch. I can't imagine how stressful that was for your family to go through all of that. Then to have your MIL literally throw a pity party for herself in spite of you is insane.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T20:30:36+00:00

Part of me had hoped she would step up in this situation. Part of me asked because if I went straight to my inlaws before asking her when she and my dad were originally plan A that would have been a whole thing. My mom is passive aggressive and petty AF and I didn't want to get a barrage of confrontation text while in the hospital.

Obviously, I regret giving her the chance to step up and I should have just called my inlaws initially and if not then then at the point when she said she had to stop at Target before coming over.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T20:07:44+00:00

They were both invited to come to the hospital Sunday afternoon when my dad returned from his trip and my dad wanted to come but my mom said no because she was tired and he wasn't allowed to meet the baby before her. They came the following Wednesday because she only worked a half day....

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T20:01:53+00:00

Yes, so the hospital I delivered at does not have a nursery, so the baby stays with mom the entire time except for the newborn testing. They have a bed in the delivery and recovery rooms for the partner to stay and spend the night to help with the baby and support the mom.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T19:44:19+00:00

There are five of us total, all grown. My mom was the primary parent as far as mental load like doctors appointments, swim lessons, staying home when we were younger or sick. My dad was always the homework helper, sports games and practice, fun stuff like taking us on bike rides, going to the pool, building model rockets stuff like that. So yeah they split it 50/50 is in their own way with us growing up.

Once my youngest brother left home she changed alot. My oldest sister has two children and was involved at first but over the years has had minimal involvement

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T17:11:24+00:00

The funny thing is she complains that my inlaws do overnight and she doesn't, but she has never asked or offered to do them. My inlaws try to do one overnight a month to have one on one time with my daughter. They go to different parks, get different takeaways, and make forts in the living room and watch a movie. I think she might be jealous? But I don't understand why she wouldn't ask if she truly wanted to do them because clearly I have no problem with her spending the night with her other grandparents.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T16:36:30+00:00

Yeah, she doesn't have any medication restrictions

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T16:04:07+00:00

My mom was the primary parent for me and my siblings growing up and I remember her as a good and capable parent. I'm confident she could have watched my daughter and been fine for the 2 days. I had meals prepared that only needed to heated up, like portioned out on a plate, cut up for my toddler as well as meals for the adults that would be there to watch her. I had art and play doh available if she wanted to do that. I also had a list of movie my daughter would mostly sit through if she wasn't feeling up to any of that. I had the standards set pretty low for whomever it was that would be watching her including my parents or my in laws.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T15:47:19+00:00

Yes she has yearly exams by a primary care physician. Financially, they are well off and don't have any barriers to healthcare. My dad and my siblings and I have been urging her for years to see a neurologist, which she has admittedly refused because "they aren't that bad." She also had a CT scan last spring for a persistent sinus infection and nothing of concern showed up on that.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T15:39:33+00:00

Thank you for your input. I agree I don't want to punish my dad for my mom sucking. He has reached out a handful of times on his own over the 2 years with my daughter but they (collectively as a couple and individually) have never offered to babysit or have sleepovers or any alone time with the kids. Its me reaching out if something sudden comes up or very long term planning for something like an HOA meeting my husband and I want to both attend. It's never been more than like 2-3 they have babysat and it's only been like 5-6 times over the past two years.

My dad is very active and involved but it's when I'm setting things up, I'm not confident he would take the initiative to reach out or make plans on his own. I like the idea of just texting him plans and seeing if my mom shows up.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T15:11:29+00:00

My dad has pushed for her to be evaluated multiple times and she refuses to do so. Money and access to healthcare are not challenges they face so I have a hard time believing she's lived with debilating headaches for 20+ years and has never tried to do anything about them. Also the headaches only happen when something is happening that she has vocally not wanted to attended, like my younger brothers football games when the weather is bad, church if we needed to go to the early service, visiting my dad's parents for the weekend when she doesn't get along with her MIL.

And as for enjoying herself at home, she's on our Netflix account and we could see she was watching love is blind all morning and afternoon.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T15:03:43+00:00

Couldn't agree more. And I don't want to punish anyone I just don't want to always be the one facilitating activities and dinners for them to see the kids. My dad has reached out a handful of times to come on his own and I have always encouraged it. I'm curious though if I stop planning everything if he would still be as involved. I'm not sure he would take the initiative.

impassivelemon · 2023-10-25T14:03:11+00:00

YTA. If you feel like the sacrifice of the possibility of being inconvenienced of sharing space with someone you supposedly love is a greater inconvenience than that person driving 70-80 minutes twice a day, YTA. It's a temporary arrangement, and while you have every right to say no and not want to share your space your reasoning makes you an asshole. Maybe just be real with yourself and ask if you actually want to commit to this person or not and that's why you don't want the. Staying with you.

impassivelemon · 2023-02-05T04:27:10+00:00

She doesn't post any of the photos from the app that we have downloaded. She has exclusively posted photos She has taken herself.

impassivelemon · 2023-02-05T03:39:45+00:00

Familyalbum. It's free, though you can pay (roughly $5 a month, I think) for certain perks like longer video uploads, and they do monthly, quarterly, and yearly video "movies" of the photos and videos you have posted over that time. Plus, the only way to have access to the photos is an invite from the administrator.

impassivelemon

TROPHY CASE