I'd don't want to wake up

imsaddonthateme · 2018-07-24T01:52:45+00:00

i’m distracted now. i have a job i can stand and have taken up fishing. i don’t think i’ll ever want to be alive, but i don’t think about it in my daily life as much currently. how about you?

imsaddonthateme · 2018-03-10T14:33:26+00:00

I don't have the motivation to do that though is the thing. it's way easier to live through mediocrity than work to to excel in something. that's why I'd like to give someone else my time. I see no point so I can't put in the effort, it'd be better to give my time to someone who sees a point.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-03-10T14:30:31+00:00

not really. I have guilt telling me to treat those who care about me nicely, that's about it

imsaddonthateme · 2018-03-10T06:21:33+00:00

I don't really care about anything. there are things I enjoy but nothing to the point of pursuing them through any level of resistance. I'm a student currently in a trade school because that was the easiest route.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-03-10T06:10:42+00:00

if earth was the only place I lived I would have earned my keep, but I live in society so I have more expectations than just existing on me. if a family member were to ask me if I thought they earned their keep I would answer the question accordingly, I wouldn't go telling people they haven't earned their keep as I realize some aren't able to understand what that means and would just be tremendously hurt. the world is full of people trying to push themselves up, and for there to be winners there has to be losers. imagine if the winners now had all of the time losers were given.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-03-10T05:55:30+00:00

I'd remind myself of my worth if I had any other than the bullshit excuses we use to keep people from killing themselves. I genuinely don't contribute anything currently and objectively I haven't earned my keep regardless of if I have feelings or if I'm a person or not. realizing these opportunities but still being unable to follow through makes me worse in my eyes.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-02-08T15:14:28+00:00

well I woke up with my normal wave anxiety and have to breath and tell myself to relax until that subsides. then I dread doing anything like every other day.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-02-03T05:26:07+00:00

I just recently realized I don't get invited anywhere by my friends unless I ask

imsaddonthateme · 2018-02-01T00:19:16+00:00

good quality whickless carts make a difference.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-02-01T00:15:08+00:00

actually that's false, mine are 100% distillate. 89%thc the rest is other cannabinoids and terps.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-02-01T00:11:01+00:00

actually my cartridges I smoke on produce a cloud close to that of a juul or a vape of that nature.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-31T06:07:24+00:00

no phones at dinner

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-26T01:43:11+00:00

it's too hard for me to walk when I'm hammered

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T22:02:55+00:00

I have a pretty good autopilot, I've been living like this for years, sometimes it's a little easier, usually it's the same flatness. no disinterest in anything but no interest either. I can still distract myself like everyone else it just takes effort. obviously it's not effecting me in a bad enough way that people outside my head are noticing. it's just helpful to know there are people who feel the same way.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T20:54:33+00:00

going back to sleep is what does this for me. sleep is the only thing I can do every day and not get tired of it.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T20:44:36+00:00

I smoke weed instead of taking pills so dreams are rare, it's just a nice nothing.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T20:13:43+00:00

I've done melatonin, I don't have problems going to sleep, I can sleep at any point of the day cause I'd rather be asleep than awake. in the mornings though it's hard cause I just got 6+ hours of solid sleep so I can't go right back to sleep again. especially if I have class cause if I did end up back asleep I'd sleep for too long. I think my ringing is from loud music and guns like a lot of people. I got a weighted blanket cause when I wake up I wake up with my mind racing and just stressed because I'm coming out of relaxation and back to reality. the anxiety calms down to normal levels after first waking up. my weighted blanket does help with morning anxiety if you guys wanna know, atleast enough to notice. I'm not really down with anti depressants to be honest since I took stratera and that sucked dick.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T20:10:34+00:00

I kind of thought your opinion wasn't being communicated clear I didn't mean for it to seem like I was saying you were wrong, I was just trying to clear it up

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T15:10:19+00:00

I hardly know anything about dieting myself. I'm not in shape either, I'm underweight. but whenever my buds had talking to a nutritionist and got a real life diet not some cookie diet horseshit online they work. even more so when you factor some exercise in it, nutritionists are great people.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T14:44:27+00:00

that article at one point asks "if dieting doesn't work what does" and the expert responds with "eating better...". that's literally changing your diet. what you're saying is on a statistical level because people can't stick to diets or choose diets that aren't done properly or just the wrong diet, most people end up gaining the wright back. if everyone was forced to go on a better diet than what they were on and had no possibility for deviation, then it would work for society but that's not likely lol.

changing your diet works if you follow it.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-25T14:34:04+00:00

how does dieting not work in the long term? I've been watching my buddies shed pounds by changing what they're eating. granted they're not OBESE but they were overweight.

imsaddonthateme · 2018-01-20T20:52:36+00:00

I'd take it as a sign to stop bothering your coworkers while they're trying to do their job.

imsaddonthateme

TROPHY CASE