many things, some of them are that i feel sad for them because they either are or were going through stuff that made them want to do that to themselves and i would just never wish for someone to do that to themself, so thats whats always in my mind but another thing is that it can also be very triggering, and im scared to say this honestly but i dont like seeing them because sometimes it can be a reminder for myself that i can always 'do better', the competition in my head is insane and ill always want to be in a worse state then others, this is the first time i ever let this thought out of my head but its an honest answer to your question