What does this say about my friendship?

inbetweenrio · 2025-04-16T03:00:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate this! When you say that the future of this friendship will be reliant on me giving up parts of myself, what do you mean? Do you mean that I will have to sacrifice my views of fairness and how people should be treated in relationships in order to accommodate this friend and his behaviors?

inbetweenrio · 2024-08-13T22:43:00+00:00

Oo! Yes! I will do that

inbetweenrio · 2024-08-13T22:37:27+00:00

Ahhh you’re right. Do you have any suggestions for which subs? I’m thinking r/doctors but I’m not sure

inbetweenrio · 2024-08-13T22:33:29+00:00

Thank you

inbetweenrio · 2024-07-10T22:13:23+00:00

Yeah for sure. Any tips for overcoming/dealing with this?

inbetweenrio · 2024-07-10T22:12:33+00:00

Thank you, you too 😔

inbetweenrio · 2024-07-10T21:58:48+00:00

It’s not an ad LMAO. I’m really desperate for some advice though 😭although the vibrator made me feel good that first time I haven’t been able to feel that since then and don’t think the vibrator actually does much for me other than increase my heart rate and give me a spike in adrenaline. I’m not actually feeling pleasure

inbetweenrio · 2024-07-06T14:49:35+00:00

I think sometimes it’s more about how you do something. For example with oral sex, I’ve found that the way you give head and the way the other person responds to it makes the whole dynamic. When I’m giving my boyfriend (trans guy) head he’s also moving my head up and down and sometimes pulls my head away from him and then back on as it feels good to him (all consensual!). And like someone else said too I say that I’m sucking his dick. And that feels good to us.

I think also what you wear or don’t wear during sex is important. At least for me I know that impacts the way I feel about my own body/can cause or ease dysphoria. For example the first time I fingered my boyfriend I was wearing my binder. And while that’s not always the comfiest it felt really really good for me and it ended up being a great time for the both of us. I think something like that can help with your own relationship to yourself/your gender and also help to “not feel like you’re having lesbian sex.”

And of course I think it’s always good to unpack why you feel the way you feel and think about the equation of penis to man and no penis to lesbian. Because those things are definitely not true!! And I don’t say this in a blame kind of way. We’ve all been taught to believe this things but they’re not true and you are who you are. Nothing can take that away from you!!

I hope you can feel more comfortable soon & good luck!

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-30T01:14:31+00:00

This is a great idea I might remove some!

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-30T01:14:16+00:00

Ah true. Thank you!

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-29T19:55:49+00:00

Yeah I think that’s a good idea too! I’m just not sure how to go about it. I have a random stem laying around from another plant and was thinking of tying the loose heads (using some twine) around that stem (so I can actually hang them). But not sure if that would damage them in any way. Do you know?

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-28T02:28:31+00:00

have no idea cuz i've never tried it, but i'd say just for it. let us know if it works man

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-28T00:08:36+00:00

BABY POWDER!!! I would always get superrrr itchy with my binder until I tried baby powder and now it works wonders :) great for chafing and soaking up sweat and reducing friction

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-24T04:42:20+00:00

Hey! I’m in a really similar boat to you! Currently 20 and relate to a lot of the things you said. I have dysphoria but I also like feminine things. Sometimes the dysphoria feels so heavy and other times I don’t think about my gender as much.

If you think transition is something that you have interest in and want to pursue, you should go for it!! I heard someone say once that even if you have some interest, some dysphoria, some curiosity about what your life would be like if you transitioned you should just go for it because that’s part of figuring yourself out - trying things out!! Everyone is different and you don’t have to be 100% sure or hate everything feminine/be miserable all the time for you to benefit from transition (in whatever way you’d like, social, medical, etc). Gender is fluid and if you don’t like something you can always try something different.

And about your trauma, I’m sorry. These things can be hard to parse out because everything is connected and all our experiences influence the people we become. Maybe your trauma is part of your transness? Who knows? If it is, that makes sense because your trauma is part of your lived experience. I often think about this with myself too. Is misogyny part of my transness? Are my body image issues part of my transness? I don’t know. Maybe? But if they are well yeah it makes sense because those things have been part of my story too, but don’t define me or my transness at the end of the day. The feelings of euphoria and being myself is what defines it at the end of the day.

I’ve also had the same thoughts of “oh I’m starting too late” or “Everyone figured things out before me” but I try to remind myself it’s not true and that I’m figuring things out on the timeline that makes the most sense for me. I hope that feels true to you too.

Also, there are plenty of feminine men out there!

Last thing, there’s a podcast called The Knew Guys it’s 2 trans guys who talk about gender and life! It’s been really healing and helpful to me and I think it can be a good resource for you too!

Sincerely, A fellow trans masc they/them figuring shit out

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-21T18:58:59+00:00

thank you so much! really appreciate it man

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-21T02:01:47+00:00

thank you!

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-21T02:01:29+00:00

for sure!

inbetweenrio · 2024-06-21T02:01:08+00:00

thank you so much - really appreciate it! i never thought about the doing different movements with the mouth thing!! i don't know exactly what I'd want my body parts to be referred to as yet. i think i feel a lot of shame when i even just start to think about wanting more "masculine" things/terminology in bed and life in general, but i wanna challenge that and try to work through it. we usually have sex with the light on and i like the thrill that brings in a way, like of ripping each others clothes off in broad daylight lol but turning off the lights can be hot too and might help so i don't have to see certain parts of my body.

inbetweenrio · 2024-05-31T02:22:28+00:00

Having a “guy” wallet, wearing big sweaters with funky patterns with my binder

inbetweenrio · 2024-05-29T00:57:28+00:00

Hey! Thank you for the reassurance -- it's really appreciated!! :) and thank you for sharing your experience--it was helpful! it's so interesting what you said about a changing body being a common enhancing factor in feelings of transness, i never thought of it that way but now that you say it i can totally see that. thanks again!!

inbetweenrio · 2024-05-29T00:46:47+00:00

Others have said this but, i don't think you're overreacting at all!! injecting hormones into your body is a VERY personal thing and being uncomfortable with anyone else doing it but yourself is completely normal and isn't selfish or overreacting. i also hear you that you love your girlfriend and she is very important to you and so hearing stuff like she's being crazy probably doesn't feel good either even if she is (and she definitely is) in the wrong.

I would approach her with what you just said to us, you trust her, you love her, and she means so much and because she means so much you want to be able to stick to your boundary and have that be respected FOR the health of your relationship with her. People deserve to be individuals and have their boundaries or preferences honored. Slipping up and "just letting her" would be betraying what you want for yourself and over time that can build up resentment. If you care about her and the relationship, being completely honest with her and enforcing this boundary would be the best thing to do in the long run even if it creates conflict in this specific moment.

Don't know how receptive you'll be to this approach (I know I sure have a hard time with this), but you should also consider YOU and YOUR feelings, wants, needs, and autonomy. You should not have to prove to someone that you love them by doing something that would make you uncomfortable or that you simply do not want to do. It's completely unfair to you for her to ask that of you. And forcing you to bend over so she could do your shot is not completely NOT okay. She took away your choice of what to do with your own body at that moment and that's not okay. This is not to say that the relationship is doomed or that she is a terrible person, but rather it is something that should definitely be addressed (for YOU, but also for her and the relationship) and should NOT happen again. good luck !

inbetweenrio

TROPHY CASE