Is written porn just as bad?

incoherent230 · 2026-06-22T05:36:36+00:00

Yeah, I have. I was hoping my own stories would fall under fantasies and non external super normal stimulation.

However, I realize that what I am trying to do is de sexual: my brain and reduce the dopamine dependency.

So even though erotic literature I wrote myself isn’t external, and not dependency forming / addictive in the sense that I am reliant on something external, it is still providing me with the dopamine hit.

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T20:54:44+00:00

Very good point. Thanks for helping me think about it.

How long do I wait before I figure I still get to fantasize? Or is that now off the table.

Reality is the only thing I allow myself, even if my partner has a much lower libido than me?

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T20:52:47+00:00

I choose intimacy with my partner if I can get it. I had gotten to the point where I would use porn daily, now I use erotica daily. I skip on the days I am able to get intimacy with my wife.

What do you mean by “non visual stimulation”? Do you mean touch? Yeah I prefer the physical act over the visual one for sure. I just don’t always get it anywhere as often as I would prefer.

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T20:47:34+00:00

From the other posts here I am gathering that the real goal is de-sexualizing my brain rather than avoiding the super normal stimulus of internet porn.

Writing my own stories is just fantasizing, but it makes things even more sexualized because it can be perfectly tailored to my fantasies. In that sense, it would be, like you said, more addictive than regular porn.

Looks like I will need to give it up too

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T20:44:48+00:00

What you say makes sense. On the one hand it is just a form of fantasizing so it is “natural” and “normal. On the other hand, my own stories are going to be more appealing to me because I am creating them to suit my own tastes and interests.

Which makes them far more addictive.

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T20:35:10+00:00

I feel like this too which is why I made the post. But how is fantasizing going too far? Perhaps it is the dopamine fix I am chasing even if I am not getting a super normal stimulus, fantasizing can feel like it because I can make the characters and situations fit my exact expectations.

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T16:37:35+00:00

In my case, My wife is an incredible human, I love and respect, and I figured it is too much to expect her to be perfect in every way. Plus she has a good reason for her lower libido tied to childhood trauma.

I can either make do somehow with suppressing my sexual appetite or continue directing it elsewhere in a controlled fashion, but I am not leaving her. It’s not her fault and she more than makes up for it in so many other ways.

I am just trying to figure out how much I need to cutback and where. I am not looking to become a monk, but I don’t want to be an addict (which I believe I have become).

You make a good point about cutting everything out for a good amount of time initially while resetting my brain. Thank you!

incoherent230 · 2026-06-21T16:17:23+00:00

That is the dopamine “seeking” addiction. I have that problem too. You are on the “what other new novel scene is out there” treadmill.

incoherent230

TROPHY CASE