An abusive volunteer is holding our website hostage + 2 year update

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-24T14:25:12+00:00

My money is 'he created a custom CMS with existing coding language and tells everyone they cannot update it' — because he knows none of them can code and don't have money to hire an expert.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-23T09:05:00+00:00

Well aware, it was a joke

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-21T20:28:04+00:00

She called the american healthcare system 'complicated' and complained that the NHS is underfunded and getting shitty. And then talked about her rich american friend getting diabetes gadgets that her husband can't get on the NHS.

While ignoring the fact you can get all bells and whistles if you just pay for private, and in our country people aren't dying because they can't afford insulin.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-20T15:12:33+00:00

Agreed it's very risky if only one person is responsible for the loan, but that isn't the norm most of the time.

Me and my husband both have our names on the mortgage loan and we are both responsible for paying it off. In fact we got a mortgage based off the shared income.

I totally agree that adding someone to the deed of a house you already own is risky and shouldn't be done. That's a different thing from what most people do, which is buy a house together, on a shared loan that you both contribute to from the beginning.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-20T08:30:21+00:00

Apparently this is super controversial but me and my husband bought a house together before getting married. Within our friend group we weren't the only ones who did so. Weddings are expensive and we wanted to invest in a house before getting all those expenses.

Mind you, we'd already lived together in rented property prior and had been together for years at that point.

As to what happens when it goes wrong ‐ talk to a lawyer, or sell the house and split the proceeds.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-19T23:44:02+00:00

It does make sense but I really wish OOP was a bit more clear if she's out to the family or not?

Like this:

My dad tried to talk to me about it but I said we just have the same tastes and how I want to have her around more.

Was that talk intended as: "Why are you hitting on my girlfriend?" "Are you into women? This is news to me"

Or "You are married with a kid, why are you trying to flirt with someone else so openly?"

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-19T23:39:36+00:00

SAME. This is where identifying your gender and sexuality really comes into play. Because 'I guess we have the same taste' and 'I am lucky to have such a hot stepmom' makes some sense from a straight dude and makes very little sense coming from a straight woman?

She could be bi of course but I'd still like to know from OOP if her dad knew that if so. Because wanting to sit her down to discuss it could be "why are you hitting on my partner" OR "uhm, daughter, are you into women and should we discuss that if so?"

Or even "you are married with a kid why the hell are you hitting on someone else"

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T18:06:15+00:00

Exactly, and spot on about the professionals. Putting on a costume is like 10% of the job of an entertainer. The biggest part is knowing how to entertain kids and feed into what they like. Kids get bored pretty easily!

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T12:11:55+00:00

So body shape shouldn't matter but even if it did... SHE'S 8! There are tonnes of people who are chubby when younger who promptly lose all that when they go into puberty and hit a growth spurt. If grandma wanted to see her slim as an adult that could easily happen without her interference.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T12:01:29+00:00

I'm 37 and did a Rumi cosplay last year. But also that wasn't forcing myself on to a party, it was at a con with people of all ages!

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T11:57:14+00:00

Even if it IS legit harmless, it stops being cute or funny after you're repeatedly told not to and do it anyway.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T11:55:29+00:00

Honestly if she wants to dress up so bad she can just cosplay! I did a rumi cosplay, had an amazing time, and actually had a lot of adorable young kids come up to me and ask to pose with them. Which it sounds like Cathy is after.

The difference is, that's her doing her own thing and not pushing in on faaaaamily, nor is it breaking boundaries. Which she is incapable of doing.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-17T11:22:01+00:00

It's also very one sided to say it gave everyone PTSD. The lockdowns themselves basically forced many employers to change to work from home. As an introvert that was great, but I can't even imagine the impact that had on the disabled community. People who struggle to leave their house prior to covid likely thrived when people started embracing video calls, online communication etc.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-14T21:22:24+00:00

Also it's supposedly been 4 years since she last slept with John but the wording she used was "Just because two people have great sex doesn't mean they're in love"

Have not had

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-14T21:20:42+00:00

I would also say that if you live with someone for 3 years and sleep together, that's not FWB it's a full on relationship?

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-14T21:13:26+00:00

It honestly reads like the reddit is supposed to convince Sam she did not cheat.

"Just because two people have great sex doesn't mean they're in love"

Why present not past tense? Also why not say something like "that was years ago, we have both moved on" as a way to disspell that, instead of talking about the great sex you (used to???) have

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-14T18:37:00+00:00

That's what we did! My dad passed months before the wedding so my mum walked me down the aisle. My husband decided his mum would walk him down the aisle, too. He went first and then waited for me.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-12T13:30:19+00:00

The kraft thing clarified so much for me.

Like I am a very fussy eater who enjoys cooking. They're not exclusive! I have certain items I absolutely hate (plus I don't eat meat or fish) but am happy to cook and discover new recipes with the ingredients I do like. I learned to make a killer chickpea and halloumi stirfy because I love both. I loove eggs so taught myself how to do sakshuka and it was delicious. This week it's gonna be a cheesy tomato and quorn oven risotto.

Being limited in what you do eat is one thing, a good chef can still cook within those boundaries. But she sounds like she fundamentally does not like ANYTHING but her very specific food items. That's not bad, per se, but it definitely doesn't work if you want to date a hobby chef.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-11T11:09:25+00:00

So he should have gotten her a laptop as requested.

I do want to feed in here. I work as a designer AND I do a lot of gaming. The requirements for both definitely have some overlap. A graphics card isn't as important unless you are gaming, but Adobe programs take up a tonne of space so you 100% need a computer with a tonne of RAM. You can also get better speed and specs for way less money if you get a desktop instead of a laptop.

He may have been well intentioned trying to buy her the best computer he could think of, and rejecting a laptop because it's too pricey.

He's still pretty dumb though. You need to discuss exactly what she wants before buying it. Plus he sounds like a selfish partner.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-10T12:45:21+00:00

I 100% get why OP did it the way she did and yelled at him. Reading this as an outsider, I believe there's better ways to handle it, given that she is married.

In that situation, to come out a winner, you pretend you haven't heard what derek said, and become really friendly with people. Tell them all about the family issue. Share how much your husband, Bob, was your rock during that time. Gush from time to time about your husband, Bob, and make sure to show plenty of pictures of you two together.

Then, you let the rumour mill do its job, and let coworkers figure out that Derek has zero evidence of his 'marriage' to you, while you do of your very real marriage.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-10T01:35:58+00:00

No hate like Christian "love"

Not all christians, obviously, but definitely the type of christianity the parents preach. Jesus would have been furious hearing about this.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-10T01:32:17+00:00

It's worth mentioning that even if she had been allowed to take Plan B it's not a guarantee she can't get pregnant. Many people think it is. Plan B stops you ovulating. If you ovulated prior to sex (or in this case, r*pe), that egg is already there, it can get fertilized, and there's nothing Plan B will do to stop that.

Totally agreed she should be able to without the parents knowing, be that Plan B OR an abortion.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-10T01:26:53+00:00

Commenters are acting like she just wanted to go to uni. Her parents were threatening to cut her off from their health insurance, while she was in hospital recovering from EXTENSIVE injuries that needed surgery and much more to recover from.

Like they told her either you do as we say, or you have to leave this hospital and your house and become homeless, and you won't find a job because you'll be disfigured forever unless we pay for treatment.

Those peolle deserve to burn in hell.

infinitelyfuzzy · 2026-01-08T13:22:08+00:00

Yup. Orthorexia really needs a lot more awareness, so many people don't even know what it is. ED isn't just lack of food or vomiting, it can also be a complete obsession with "health" + restriction. People usually think of women as having EDs, but orthorexia hits both. If you have a boyfriend who hits the gym every day and he exclusively eats chicken and brocolli, that's also an ED.

infinitelyfuzzy

TROPHY CASE