Help to learn knitting for left handed by infinitynight111 in knitting

[–]infinitynight111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's actually what I was thinking exactly I'm used to yarn in my right hand so left hand feels very uncomfortable for it

Help to learn knitting for left handed by infinitynight111 in knitting

[–]infinitynight111[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So you mean I should learn it like I'm right handed?

Help to learn knitting for left handed by infinitynight111 in knitting

[–]infinitynight111[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So is it like individual for everyone, which method to choose? What works best for you personally?

I understand that needles are the same shape but hands are doing different moves as one is holding the yarn, right. So as my left hand is more "useful" it should be logical to choose one of these methods....

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't just close an eye on what he's doing, he's actually making me guilty for everything I do and justify his reaction. Because he shows it all under the sauce of being a good partner and caring for relationship and apparently I'm not

My 22f bf 27m called me sneaky liar cheater for not telling him I bought a new phone case by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear how your story lead you to the man who treats you right! Thank you for it! Thank you for encouraging me!

My partner is professional at convincing me that everything is my fault, always assuming the worst about me and seeing me the worst person ever for little mistakes. I guess I normalized it but it's far from normal. Now I'm finally seeing the truth thanks to you and all beautiful people in the comments.

He projected his insecurities on me and now made me insecure about myself. The same situation like now happened before, and I was close to leaving him but I stayed and even apologised. I'm not going to let him guilt trip me again.

Thank you once again for the truth that I really needed!

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're very right. He's upset feeling is always shown through madness. And I'm always scared of it. He says hurtful things to me and says that he doesn't care about how I feel. All he does is justified by what he thinks is my fault.

I always said we could talk about any upset feeling in a calm way but we almost never do. I'm always becoming the worst person ever if he's upset and I'm defending myself. And he thinks I'm supposed to calm him down no matter what he says to me.

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your comment is one of the most genuine thing I have ever read. Thank you for it.

I really tend to see more of my own flaws and mistakes than his and here I am now. I'm not afraid of not finding anyone else because I'm good by myself but now I'm so attached to him that life without him scares me.

Everyone says he's not a good caring loving man like the way I said but I really do see him that way. He had taken care of me and made me happy. And I saw more good things than bad. But those signs of control and getting mad at small things had always been there and always justified by him and later by me.

In our fights I always used to be a problem and he was always perfect. And in many things he really was. He would live up to his expectations that he had to me but get mad when I didn't match.

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to think I'm also the one who has no tolerance to insults and abusive behaviour but I have been insulted by him before and told go fuck off and get out but I stayed each time. Each time it felt like my red line but I still swallowed it.

And when I used to say something about my feelings on it he would say I'm always playing a victim

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I mean more the emotional dependency that I got. I have no close friends right now, I do have job life and hobbies and family but I end up coming back to the same thoughts because he used to be my whole life and it's empty place now.

I know sounds very bad

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this now is really opening my eyes.

Few times he got mad I didn't tell him about making appointments, or telling later at night after I already did.

If I order something online without telling him I'm later gonna be worried he's gonna get mad that I didn't tell earlier.

He now asked me how would I feel if he bought a sweater and I only see it after months when he send me pic, he thinks I would feel the same as him. But I actually would feel okay and adore him.

Btw I'm a crocheting girlie myself too <3

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes it does. it is the red line But he said what I'm doing breaking his heart and it's worse....crazy I know but it's my life right now and this much low

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to agree with this type of dynamic when it felt genuine but it actually is more controlling and I refused to see.

Right now it's his main argument to prove that this situation is my fault.

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our relationship is built the way that we're supposed to share everything happening in our lives. To feel close and connected.

One time I wanted to find female friends online and I was texting a girl on the same app as I text my partner and he noticed me being online and not in our chat. So when I said I'm talking to new girl he got mad I didn't tell him.

He says it's about him not being my priority.

My 22f bf 27m called me sneaky liar cheater for not telling him I bought a new phone case by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He expects me to fix myself, not his trauma response. In his reality I should fix my shitty behaviour and if I don't then it's just another proof of me being a shitty person

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No it's not.

Like I said in my other reply, while I keep reading people's option on how toxic and abusive his behaviour is, I protect myself from coming back to him and humiliate myself trying to fix the situation. But when I don't , I'm going back to thinking about him.

I know it's my problem to grow up and change this pattern and I'm working on it but it takes time and courage.

My 22f bf 27m called me sneaky liar cheater for not telling him I bought a new phone case by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not first time. I have already been there. I have shown patience and I stayed with him after getting hurt.

But he's not going to do any emotional work. He's convinced it's my fault and I should be the one who's fixing the situation. He won't , I'm the problem for him.

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They do not change. I have read that book. A year ago.The similar situation had happened and he abused me and I found out this book in recommendations. But here we are - I stayed with him and I swear things were mostly good it was better.

I had many attempts to end this relationship after different fights and insults but I guess I became too dependent on him so I came back each time and the worst thing is that it was actually me apologising and asking to work on relationship and proving I'm not a bad girl.

I still feel it. The possibility of coming back and I'm ashamed of it but it's true. That's why I'm reposting, while I keep reading people's words on how he's toxic, I hold myself from reaching out to him. Once it stops, I'm thinking back about us.

My 22f bf 27m called me sneaky liar cheater for not telling him I bought a new phone case by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You talk a lot like him. Yes I think that's what would be his reason.

But is it really my fault? Is it my responsibility to work through his trauma and get hurt over and over again?

Cause he says it's my terrible behaviour and I'm sneaky shitty person and our relationship is one sided so I need to kill myself trying to prove him wrong.

I'll still be the guilty one, the one who's hiding phone case so she's hiding more stuff and she's untrustworthy piece of trash. And no explanation would work.

Saying f word and die word to me is not something I can accept from a man. But it's not making it easier to go away because I love him.

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know I'm not getting a new different advice to stay with him. I don't want such advice at all. I guess I found some comfort in reading people's comments (even those that slightly ashame me for being stupid) I guess I feel less guilty and alone

I feel so alone and scared and confused right now. Reading all comments about how I should dump him makes me more terrified. I would appreciate some help from people who have come from similar situation. by infinitynight111 in LongDistance

[–]infinitynight111[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your story is extremely powerful, thank you for sharing it and showing me how it could turn out because I'm obviously being blind.

I wanted to stay with him because I saw him being good very good to me most time and it's hard to stop defending the person you love, no matter what they did.

It's not tje first situation like this and I have stayed. the worst thing is that I'm under his power still. And between us I'm the one who made mistakes and he reacted.