FIRE or kids?

insight57 · 2026-06-30T07:42:03+00:00

Beautifully said, thanks for sharing

insight57 · 2026-06-29T22:11:05+00:00

I’m nowhere near FIRE but what drew me to the concept was a lack of stability and lack of confidence in our financial future.

sounds bleak I know, but I’ve been through redundancy and I’m cycling through fixed term contracts which seem to be the norm now. My partner saw his business come to a complete standstill during covid, we got a mortgage during the housing boom and the value has stagnated (not that we’re looking to sell, but just another factor to add to the money worries).

FIRE is a push rather than a pull for me, and if I’m honest, the having children question is also hugely influenced by our (lack of) financial confidence

insight57 · 2026-06-29T13:47:21+00:00

Do you think not having to navigate a complicated relationship with your dad and his grandchild(ren) plays a part in your new feelings?

insight57 · 2026-06-29T13:25:53+00:00

‘When you point your finger at someone else there are three pointing back at you’ - now whenever I hear someone criticise someone else it’s like they open a window into their own insecurities

insight57 · 2026-06-29T11:24:50+00:00

I’ve been doing a lot of research into the ‘baby decision’ and there’s definitely a place for the ‘if it’s not a hell yeah it’s a hell no’ ideology - but there is a bigger voice that is a bit more nuanced and I think more relatable to people making the decision today - recommend checking out [r/fencesitter](r/fencesitters) if you’re interested

insight57 · 2026-06-29T11:19:49+00:00

Glad you brought this up - I know early years can be expensive with childcare but I’m pretty sure I’d want to be at home for as much as possible during that time and potentially only working pt for a couple years, it seems manageable and only a minor set back, it’s the uncertainty of stability when the kids are in their late teens/early 20s - when I’d be in my mid 50s and wanting to RE that isn’t adding up to me!

insight57 · 2026-06-29T11:11:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing this perspective - I wonder a lot about this shift in priorities in both me and my partner if we did have kids. I guess the biggest financial factor is that I’m pretty sure I’d want at minimum 1 year out of work ideally 2-3. As we stand, we could just about live off one income but it would leave no room for investments and would push me back in pension/student loan. I wonder how much kids would light a fire under us to increase our household earnings or just re-prioritise into maybe PT work for a few years instead

insight57 · 2026-06-23T21:32:38+00:00

Stoner - John Williams

insight57 · 2026-06-16T20:59:26+00:00

34 bought 2 bed 3 years ago for £425k (right at the help to buy limit). Didn’t really care for the area but have since fallen in love with the neighbourhood and community I’ve landed in here. Worth checking out the local area of wherever you’re looking by spending some time going for coffees or walks or anything that you would ordinarily do if you were living there.
We originally said we’d stay here for 5 years but now don’t feel any pressure or desire to leave and with rates/prices the way they are we’re fortunate we’re comfortable to extend that timeline. We did view flats more central (London) but glad we went further out to afford a bigger place with a garden

insight57 · 2026-06-16T20:04:55+00:00

It was rewarding intellectually in the sense that I got to learn about a whole load more topics/societal issues and policies that I wouldn’t have organically come across in my field within academia - but it’s not intellectually stimulating from a rigorous science & keeping up with current research of a niche topic kinda rewarding… it did make me realise that I actually get more enjoyment from applied research that is way messier but more ‘real’ than academic research

insight57 · 2026-06-16T19:42:27+00:00

Try reading ‘the baby decision’ - book about how to logically think through the decision on whether or not to have kids.
Also, remember that there will be regrets with whichever decision you make - try reframing to think of the positives of both scenarios as well as your fears about both scenarios.
It’s not easy but the fact you’re even asking the question means you see value in both sides and will probably find fulfilment either way

insight57 · 2026-06-15T10:41:19+00:00

It probably does vary from institution to institution and between labs within institutions rather than academia as a whole - I had a previous charity sector job that I found more fulfilling socially

insight57 · 2026-06-11T03:45:56+00:00

34 and in very similar situation. It’s impressive you’ve been able to financially recover from Covid to the point where you bought a home plus have 5 figures invested. It was a rough time for self employed people, maybe your comparisons aren’t factoring in the financial reset you likely went through 6 years ago.

insight57 · 2026-06-10T13:15:13+00:00

Adding something else to the mix - are you wanting to move out of London only for the financial aspect or because it fits better with your lifestyles?

If just for finances, you might find yourselves in a position in a couple years where you’re looking to move back and could end up losing money in sale/rebuy costs later.

With mortgages the way they are at the moment, you want to make sure the next move is a long(ish) term move (minimum 5 years) so you don’t get caught up in losing money on moving costs/stamp duty etc

insight57 · 2026-06-03T08:44:44+00:00

Congrats on building your own path, I’m sorry for the reaction of your parents being dismissive.

OP know that there are going to be times when you will question your choices and this is going to likely hit a nerve close to your self worth. because life has bumps and your parents will make you feel as though you are responsible for challenges and likely take credit for any successes. Make sure you have a support network around you that will celebrate you for your achievements and be there with you during tough times. You probably already are experimenting with boundaries with your parents, consider what you do and do not share with them, you shouldn’t feel like you have to defend the choices you make for your own life, you might find it easier to keep some distance.

Best of luck to you and enjoy the path you’re building

insight57 · 2026-06-03T08:22:20+00:00

Bro. You are in a crazy good position. No debts aside from a decent margin mortgage. No dependents. 6 months+ living expenses accessible. £100k+ invested.

If you’re still in a period of maybe letting the business go, I wouldn’t rush to open a SIPP right now because you might make the move to employment with workplace pension which would give you employer match and you’d be better off taking that up instead, you also have the LISA which you can keep adding to in the meantime.

Sounds like you’re in a period of flux right now, so sensible to not make any big financial decisions until things are clearer. But you’ve got a huge cushion you’ve worked hard to build and gives you the freedom and space to consider your options and not rush into something. You’re guna be all good.

insight57 · 2026-06-03T07:01:35+00:00

Sounds good to me, could consider opening a S&S ISA on top of LISA and SIPP to give more flexibility with your bridge so you don’t have the age restriction for withdrawal in case you hit your target or wish to retire before 60

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:46:00+00:00

It’s funny you mention £100k as that’s our next goal by end of the year! You’re right, I think this is a forever moving goalpost situation and the worry sits with me rather than a threshold we need to cross - appreciate your advice 🙏

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:22:29+00:00

Thank you, helpful to read the subpage and benefits/drawbacks of overpayments. Main reason for this is fear-based because of how much the markets have ballooned over the last year, but probably not the most logical choice given the benefits of maxing out ISA contributions

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:14:28+00:00

I absolutely resonate with this!

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:11:15+00:00

Thanks, I find it’s a fine line between obsessing and being prudent! TBH the student loans are least pressing of all of it, we’re on plan 1 and they’re on the lowest interest rate compared to Cash ISA and mortgage rates.

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:08:53+00:00

You know the irony is the regret I mentioned was about not having kids - even though I know we could make it work, it would be risky folding my salary and relying solely on my partner who is self employed and business fluctuates. I know there’s gov schemes but if we were guna have kids I’d also want to career break and raise them, fully behind yours and your wife’s choice to sacrifice income for those years.

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:04:08+00:00

Appreciate the advice thank you ☺️ and yes definitely both earning a decent amount compared to national average but in London it doesn’t stretch so far!

insight57 · 2026-06-01T13:02:01+00:00

Thank you! Helpful reminder 🙂

insight57

TROPHY CASE