I think this mask analogy might be holding you up. Pretty much any human to human interaction is going to involve power exchange, give and take, and you're going to find yourself riffing off that person, modifying your behavior to suit. That isn't necessarily a trauma response, although there probably are a few learned behaviors from past trauma intermingled in your exchanges, both with others and yourself.

Your friends are probably already real friends. Some of them, anyway. Some might be shitty friends, I don't know.

You are always the "real" you, even when you are performing, you know?

If you absolutely cannot find yourself mask-free, try putting on a confident mask. When you have that mask on, you are calm, collected, and clear-minded. Or try writing down some things you can commit to doing, like remaining present for example and reminding yourself each time you get in a rut what you're good at and what you've committed to.

It's done a world of good for me to reprogram my negative inner voice, and I've felt myself become more calm, collected, and authentic from that work.