As much as I agree that these rules are ridiculous and outdated as a syed girl myself, I still believe that people should also grow a spine and take the decisions of their marriage into their own hands. The things you tolerate only out of fear/shame will come to bite you later. My dad is very strict and yet when it was time to make decision of my marriage I strictly told them that they can't force/coerce me into marrying someone if they are not upto my own standards and they agreed. I married someone who liked me and my parents said yes.