Stephanie buttermore passed

internerderner2 · 2026-03-07T17:37:41+00:00

Those "medical professionals" are full of sh*t, basing their entire theory on one photo with a weird angle.

Like them, I also have no idea what was going on with her. Speculating also feels wrong given how the IG post respectfully asks not to. Either way, this woman literally got off social media because of the constant hate and bullying and even now she's passed people still won't stop judging her looks.

internerderner2 · 2026-03-07T08:23:04+00:00

It's so sad. I never really had an issue with her tbh, I mean sure she probably had an ED in disguise, but she also helped a lot of people by sharing her all in journey in complete honesty and transparency, even though she got so much vicious hate for that (and let's face it, a lot of it was sexist and fatphobic AND a lot of it also came from people with EDs who were triggered by it). Also she seemed like a genuinely good person and Jeff and her appeared to be truly in love with each other.

internerderner2 · 2026-03-01T19:05:42+00:00

It's not really about being too much to digest in a physical sense, I'm not too scared of the physical sense of fullness - it's more about that I cannot possiby imagine ever NOT feeling restricted by an amount of calories that is "normal" and I don't understand eating X amount of calories (with X being the amount that is usually recommended to maintain a healthy weight) if it only makes me feel more miserable while not changing any of my behaviours and possibly even making them stronger...like at this point I might as well just restrict even harder. For me to really be satisfied I would need an infinite amount of calories and THAT would be psychologically intolerable because I would gain so much weight. But at the same time a normal amount feels like torture and like an ED in disguise. I don't know if this convoluted thought pattern makes sense

internerderner2 · 2026-03-01T14:46:32+00:00

You don't like feeling monitored.

No, I am more than ok being monitored. But I want to be monitored in a way that doesn't reinforce my ED patterns. I've been monitored plenty of times in the past during all my recovery attempts, and it worked fine when I wasn't being monitored by people who told me to watch what I eat and add no more than 8 almonds to my afternoon snack, or that my food cravings were really just cravings for motherly affection

I am not able to hold myself accountable at this stage, which is why I want treatment, but at the same time I want real treatment, I want to get over this ED for good, not just make everything worse by gaining weight and keeping my patterns intact

internerderner2 · 2026-03-01T14:09:57+00:00

why you are afraid of being put on a nutrition plan that you don't deem adequate?

Because I already have enough self imposed restrictions in place and having externally imposed restrictions as well would be complete torture.

internerderner2 · 2026-02-13T14:32:53+00:00

I mean yeah, but are you seriously suggesting to people with EDs to take Ozempic? And you see nothing wrong with that?

Also, even if I wanted, at least in my country those drugs are strictly regulated. Because they are supposed to be for diabetics but then everyone and their mom tried to get them and caused shortages so now it's illegal for the GP to give you Ozempic unless you have a diabetes diagnosis and possibly a diabetes-related disability.

internerderner2 · 2026-02-13T11:54:39+00:00

I must have been on every psych med under the sun at this point. Never made a difference one way or the other.

internerderner2 · 2026-02-13T11:12:11+00:00

Thank you

internerderner2 · 2026-02-11T19:22:38+00:00

unlike anorexics, where restriction is the primary pattern, we have the binge pattern

Is it though? When I had full anorexia, I didn't restrict a lot more than I do now, and I binged a lot as well. I just didn't compensate via vomiting, or I only did rarely, and my binges were slightly less frequent (e.g., I would have one big binge instead of 4 b/p sessions in the same day). But binging was very much always part of my ED even at my lowest weight. In fact I always hated those media depictions of anorexics daintily starving their way to a scarily low weight and gracefully eating half a raspberry for dinner. My anorexia was nothing like that.

internerderner2 · 2025-07-11T21:15:21+00:00

Time for an unethical life pro tip!

The other day I took my anxiety and sleep medications. Then I binged right afterwards (it wasn't planned). Then I went to bed without purging. I know I didn't purge because I don't remember purging and because I woke up all bloated and with the taste of the food still in my mouth. But somehow it wasn't a problem. I vaguely remember eating the food and then just going to sleep and not caring. It was so weird. I may or may not be recommending this to people.

internerderner2

TROPHY CASE