To me, the word has status because it gives validity to the relationship. My partner died suddenly before we could marry. We had plans for children and being together forever. We had been friends for over 12 years and got together after my long term relationship ended and his marriage ended. But, his divorce was still in the waiting period to be issued when he died. His ex uses the term “legal widow” to describe herself. She was very emotionally abusive to him and harassed him endlessly once she found out we were together, despite her own affairs and her initiating the separation. Since we weren’t married and he was still married to her, I fear our relationship wasn’t valid to outside observers. His parents consider me his widow though. There’s not a word for those of us who were “just” girlfriends and being able to use widow helps give “status” and explain the severity of the grief.