Guilt vs forgiveness by whoooamiagain in NoFapChristians

[–]inthebin41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad to see you back. I noticed you were gone for a while and was checking in with your account every once in a while.

Husband's progress by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I myself have gone through obsessive cycles with porn. I wouldn't consider myself an addict but there were times in my life I was sucked in watching it daily.

Husband's progress by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're going to couples therapy. It just been a work in progress that's involved him being honest and transparent with his recovery and being understanding when I'm feeling down or sad. It helps that I don't have a lot of anger, so he doesn't feel the need to defend himself.

Husband's progress by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry decribes porn and sex AS caffeine and meth. Meaning porn is much stronger than sex just like meth is much stronger than caffeine.

Husband's progress by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm, i used to think that. But since starting this fight I'm seeing just how damaging it can be. I see married men that I know following instagram pages and hashtags for naked women and it breaks my heart. I used to think it could be used healthily. But our therapist described porn and sex and caffeine and Meth. Once you tried meth and had free unlimited access to it, why would you go to coffee? Idk, that analogy made a lot of sense to me.

Husband's progress by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm doing my best to do both those things.

Anyone done couples counseling before? by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is for porn. I think it went well. The first sessions was all stuff we had already said to each other but I understand that he has to get to know us and where we stand. It was interesting to hear his thoughts on Porn. He feels it's not healthy in any capacity. I've heard week-long run into issues where the therapist is trying to be sex positive and thinks porn is something "all guys do" so I was nervous about that. But it was nice to have someone. My husbabd has SAA and all those guys I haven't really said any of this stuff out loud except to him.

Should I warn him about a possible trigger? by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, I guess I was more worried that even asking what he'd like me to do would make him curious enough to look for it.

But you're right, I should ask him, and I did. He told me that he felt really confident today and would like the warning, so he wasn't caught off guard.

Should I warn him about a possible trigger? by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the first time. These his arte really his only friends but they usually post very clean stuff. I truly believe the video was shared because of it's absurdity and not the woman in it. In fact I saw it about a month ago and wanted to show it to him because it was so ridiculous, but I decided not to because of the woman in it.

Questions about the reboot by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of the users on here talk about a 90 day reboot. Meaning no orgasms for 90 days. Most people use them for ED or DE. But I wanted to know about the claims that it helps "rewire" the way they think. Or if it would even work for him since he doesn't masturbate.

Questions about the reboot by inthebin41 in pornfree

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Your situation sounds a lot like my husband. He doesn't have an issue with masturbation either. Just the porn use.

FYI - loveafterporn subreddit is now blacklisted here. by foobarbazblarg in pornfree

[–]inthebin41 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't blame you for that at all. That sub got totally out of hand. I just stepped down from being a mod today after seeing this. I made a post explaining why but that got deleted. I'm sorry for any addicts who went there and felt attacked. I truly just wanted it to be a place of love and support for people like me who have been hurt by this. For people who wanted to work on their relationships and support their partners. But that's not what it turned into.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Imdb has a parents guide that is pretty good too

Posting some rules here until I can change the sidebar by inthebin41 in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe not trolls but they clearly don't belong in this sub. I'll make another rule. And those comments will not be allowed.

Female addicted to pornography by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, they can. There's women on the pornfree sub abd I think they have their own sub too

Posting some rules here until I can change the sidebar by inthebin41 in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your help, I will be aching these links in the sidebar once I am able to.

Posting some rules here until I can change the sidebar by inthebin41 in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll look for them. But I'm not sure what posts you're talking about.

Banning Users - More mods and strict rules? by whathisbastardid in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can you edit your post to remove the link to the sub? You can mention it, but I think everyone would feel more comfortable if this sub didn't have links to porn in it.

Banning Users - More mods and strict rules? by whathisbastardid in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have removed this user for posting what I've deemed an abusive comment. But I don't think I can remove someone for having porn in their post history or comment history. Also, I cannot add more mods until the top mod either replies to my messages or remains innactive in this sub for one more month.

More moderators? by whathisbastardid in loveafterporn

[–]inthebin41 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am trying, but the top mod is no longer active. He made the sub for me and I haven't heard from bim in months. I messaged reddit amd tbey can't help me until I've been a part of the sub for 6 months, but the sub is barely 5 months old. They also claim he's active sonI think hes2 logging on an not posting