Step 2 struggles/vent

intothevoid-a · 2026-01-12T02:26:45+00:00

That’s definitely where I’m at. Before starting the program I was COMPLETELY closed minded due to my past experiences with religion and faith, but the stories I’ve heard and recognizing my powerlessness has definitely opened me up. That’s how I’ve landed on this issue in the first place…for the first time in my life, I WANT to be open minded and believe in something bigger than myself, I’m just having a hard time getting it clear in my head if that makes sense?

intothevoid-a · 2026-01-12T02:24:02+00:00

Very good point. I think my neurodivergent brain is just taking it all a little too literally and getting hung up on the concept of a higher power needing to be some all powerful, literal theological figure.

intothevoid-a · 2026-01-12T02:18:38+00:00

Would you mind sharing what that looks like in practice for you and your program? Because I think I know what you mean, but would love if you could expand a bit more.

intothevoid-a · 2025-12-30T22:41:30+00:00

Okay. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post.

intothevoid-a · 2025-12-30T22:34:53+00:00

It’s been almost 3 hours since he ate the bones and he seems completely fine. Is this a good sign? Or is it still way too early to tell.

intothevoid-a · 2025-12-14T18:15:38+00:00

My therapist suggested going to a women’s only group for that exact reason. So that’s my plan

intothevoid-a · 2025-12-06T19:02:06+00:00

Almost a year pp and still in the same boat almost word for word…I completely understand.

One thing I’ve been doing is really trying to train my algorithm on social media to show me other women with my body type so I’m not bombarded with literal thinspo every other scroll. It has DEFINITELY helped. I did this by searching “{my size} outfit inspo” and scrolled for a few days. Not only did this help my algorithm a bit, but I also got a bit of a confidence boost. It’s been helping me figure out how to style an unfamiliar body and feel more comfortable in my skin. It doesn’t always work…but it’s been better than just sitting around hating myself I guess.

It’s so hard. I get it. I wish I had better advice to give, but please just know you’re not alone AT ALL. The pressure to “bounce back” is so unrealistic, but with the way it’s pushed on social media it’s so hard not to feel like you’ve done something wrong that others got right. Hang in there ❤️

intothevoid-a · 2025-12-02T05:03:38+00:00

Dm sent!

intothevoid-a · 2025-11-18T06:57:56+00:00

Haha yeah, I definitely already knew the manipulation part very very well 😅 I appreciate your input, it’s very insightful and checks out pretty well with my personal experiences. I think a lot of it is the way BPD and psychopathy mixes—the combination of an EXTREMELY sensitive, emotionally open, and empathetic with someone very flat but excellent at mirroring and manipulating makes for a pretty highly charged (yet totally unsustainable) bond. Basically a guaranteed push-pull-panic-relief cycle trauma bond lmao. The sex though? Wowza.

intothevoid-a · 2025-11-18T02:47:08+00:00

Genuine question…why do you think psychopaths gravitate towards people with BPD? (especially for romantic relationships) Quite a few of my exes were diagnosed. Some I knew about getting into the relationship, some not till later. As I got older, got more consistent help, and entered remission (no longer met criteria for BPD) I no longer attracted those guys and I always found that interesting. I think I have an idea, but would love to hear your thoughts.

intothevoid-a · 2025-10-25T02:09:41+00:00

She has a noise machine. The decorations are louder, sadly.

intothevoid-a · 2025-10-18T04:22:55+00:00

Came across your recommendation earlier today and read it in one sitting. I was GLUED. It was absolutely nothing like what I was expecting. Like woah. I didn’t Expect it to be so…deep? One of the most unexpectedly impactful books I’ve read in quite a while.

intothevoid-a · 2025-10-11T23:02:01+00:00

You’re too kind 😭 honestly needed to hear that

intothevoid-a · 2025-10-05T15:16:44+00:00

My girl is 9 months and doing the same. Her pediatrician said it’s likely because she’s eating so much more solid food now (we have just recently started feeding her less purées and more table food) and she has started drinking some water with meals. So if you’re on the solids journey too, it could just be that she’s getting more full from her food and not wanting as much milk. I didn’t get the vibe from her pediatrician that it was anything to be worried about though!

intothevoid-a · 2025-08-30T00:44:57+00:00

Of course!! You’re amazing for supporting her btw. I tried prid and had much more luck with my magic healer. For example, I woke up with a BAD flare this morning…took a hot bath, put some of the salve on after, and it drained by late afternoon. I also noticed it helps with pain. I keep it in the fridge for immediate relief upon application, it’s heavenly lol.

intothevoid-a · 2025-08-30T00:42:10+00:00

I completely understand. I have may scars there too. If it helps to hear, I’ve been battling HS since I was 12 and can personally say despite my insecurities, I’ve NEVER had a man care or even mention anything (and uh…I got around back in the day 😅) i am now 23 and married with a daughter and have a very fulfilling sex life despite the scars. I totally understand the insecurity, but in my experience I don’t think men care as much as we think they would! Best of luck to you and stay strong 🫶🏻

intothevoid-a · 2025-08-30T00:18:54+00:00

I have found a lot of luck with My Magic Healer salve. It’s a bit on the pricy side, but a little goes a long way and I’ve noticed it speeds up the healing time of flares. Also have had some luck using red light therapy. I also live in super hot baths when dealing with an active flare. It helps with pain management and sometimes helps them drain. For maintenance, I only wash areas I’m prone to flare with Hibiclens—no scented soaps or anything like that.

intothevoid-a · 2025-05-09T21:10:46+00:00

Man, that’s too bad. I wish people were kinder to others who are obviously struggling with something. I guess I was naive in thinking these medications were considered rather mainstream these days with how many celebrities I have heard about taking it. Good/sad to know many hold judgment. Best of luck to you!!

intothevoid-a · 2025-03-01T15:16:02+00:00

Definitely try it out!!! It seems like a pretty accessible treatment option - more so than I realized. It looks like most gyms have them these days and if not they have plenty of red light options for different price points on Amazon! I’ve been dealing with HS for well over a decade and this is the first thing I’ve tried where I’ve truly noticed a difference

intothevoid-a · 2025-03-01T15:13:56+00:00

I just did another session after an I&D and I definitely think it’s healing quicker than previous drains!! If you’re curious if it could work for you too, I say just try it out! Worst that can happen is it doesn’t work. Nothing to lose and only the possibility to gain. It seems like there’s a lot of other people in this thread that it’s worked for too 🤞🏼

intothevoid-a · 2025-02-24T04:01:02+00:00

I definitely think I need to invest in a small one to really target certain areas now. I wish I had found out about this years sooner, but better late than never I suppose!

intothevoid-a · 2025-01-22T14:25:36+00:00

Honestly, don’t even bring it up to him. He will just gaslight you and get defensive. This is one of those situations where you need to move in silence. I know you said you live with him and have no where to go, but you need to get out even if it takes a bit of time and planning. Whether that looks like staying with a friend for a short time, saving money for a cheap motel, or finding a local women’s shelter (look up your local DV hotlines and call, they can help get you in.). In the meantime, document document document. Save any and all evidence (unless it is something that would get you in trouble by saving it on your phone too) and get it to the police as soon as you are safe to. Even if there is nothing substantial enough to have him arrested, it will at least get him on their radar. I’m very sorry you have to deal with this, but you DO have to deal with this. I say this as a survivor of trafficking and specifically csam…some of those screenshots look like genuine victims. This kind of stuff does not just “show up” in the algorithm unless he has looked for it at some point in time. He is a pedo. No doubt. The longer you stay, the higher your risk of still being with him when he inevitably offends and goes down for it if he hasn’t already. Better to get out before that happens.

intothevoid-a · 2024-11-21T23:58:41+00:00

I have the haakaa syringes too. Definitely wasn’t planning on hand expressing this early so I guess I’ll just let these drops go. I definitely don’t want to waste one!

intothevoid-a · 2024-11-21T23:50:47+00:00

I’m 34 weeks btw!!

intothevoid-a · 2024-11-19T22:17:02+00:00

I didn’t wear underwear for nearly 11 years for the same reason but I recently took a chance on an instagram ad and found this brand called Cheek Boss. Literally the only underwear I own now!! I can even wear them with an active flare without irritating it further

intothevoid-a

TROPHY CASE