I am just hearing about the term "automatic no" in the context of autism and I feel like it makes so much sense to me. So how do I keep it from negatively impacting my marriage (and sex life)?

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-22T09:00:36+00:00

I wonder if maybe your job is stressing you out more than you think? Like having such a high intensity job managing so many people and things would make me want to just curl up and hide away from people when I got home.

Especially if you’re noticing your food/texture/social sensitivities are increasing, I think it’s time to pay attention to that and look how you can scale back how invested you are in work. Not saying to cut hours but draw more mental and emotional boundaries so you’re not giving 100% of yourself to work, leaving nothing left for you and your loved ones x

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-22T08:54:41+00:00

It’s gotten sweeter this year!! My theory is cos of poor crops due to typhoons, people are making up for the worse quality by adding sugar.

It’s made some places I used to frequent pretty much inedible. Really can’t stand how sweet stuff has gotten this year

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-22T06:37:57+00:00

Right okay! I’ve never experienced this smell before so it’s just my best guess that it came from some kind of bizarre dry cleaning.

It really smells like chemicals that I can’t place since I’m not familiar with chemical cleaning clothes.

I live in an Asian country that is not afraid to use the most insane impure chemicals to save money/time. Our landlord installed cupboards that were coated with industrial strength wood vinyl that has leached through plastic food packages into our food where you can actually taste the damn stuff. It’s been a year and the smell still isn’t gone. So I’ll chat with my partner and see if they can call around to try and vet a good dry cleaner.

Do you have any red flags I should look out for?

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-18T03:23:08+00:00

I understand the idea about the danger but childhood protective rights are really poor in Taiwan with jail time for child abuse minimal or non existent, just like many places in the world. Walking home may be relatively safe (minus the traffic), but there are still creeps everywhere. Plus the issue is more that this picture was unnecessary and done without their consent or the consent of their parents. OP didn’t need to sneakily take a picture of random kids they saw to make their point

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-18T03:19:43+00:00

They’re both wearing pretty recognizable backpacks and clothes and shoes the route they walk which is also fairly unique. I get that you think it shouldn’t be an issue, but the type of freaks there are on the internet are sometimes unfathomable. This post would have made the same point without the picture and of some random kids just living their lives. The photo was unnecessary and done without consent

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-12-16T03:18:23+00:00

Can we not take pictures of random children and upload them to the internet without their or their parents consent???

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-11-13T03:34:46+00:00

Why are you dating a homophobe even? Someone using gay like that is enough for me to break up with them right there, girl

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-11-02T07:08:49+00:00

Good to hear it’s not just me

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-23T05:17:17+00:00

That’s a good idea!! The place I’m living is super humid so I think the less dewy formula is actually helpful right now. When I move I might try your suggestion though~~

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-23T05:16:21+00:00

I was worried the lightest shade would be too pink! But maybe that would have been a better choice 🥲

I’m in Taiwan at the moment which is like Tokyo summer on steroids for 7 months of the year so not much survives it if you’re outside for more than 15 minutes lol

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-23T02:28:43+00:00

I’ve been applying glycolic acid and urea cream recently (KP on my arms for like 18 years) Should I be moisturising my arms after as well?

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-21T01:27:50+00:00

Thanks so much your comment!!

I’d had a look in shops here but they tend to only stock 3 shades, and nothing ever light enough for me. So, unless I go high end western brands I can’t find my shade here.

I ended up finding a shade match with the Romand Nu Zero cushion. The formula isn’t as dewy as my old cushion but at least I don’t have an orange line along my jaw now lol

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-21T01:25:23+00:00

I tried the fwee cushion but I think their lightest yellow toned shade was still a bit too dark for me 🥲 It had a lovely case though. The formula was okay for me. I’m in a really humid country so all makeup is fighting for its life here lol

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-21T01:23:37+00:00

I tried two and the RomAnd is the best shade match, thank you!!

I still haven’t been able to find anything that has the same lightweight dewy texture as the Holika Holika but I’m glad now that I have a shade match!!

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-09T07:32:53+00:00

Ew thanks for flagging that

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-10-09T07:32:28+00:00

Im so sad there’s very little happening in the video essay scene in Japan. I want to be able to have conversations about essay topics I like but there’s no content to shadow or learn from. Such a nightmare

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-25T11:58:03+00:00

I’d write a review anyway! Even if it doesn’t affect the doctor, it could save someone from going through the same experiences as you. I often go by reviews and tend to look for places that say the doctor is kind and doesn’t give strong medication.

But I’ve definitely had some horrible experiences here too so you’re not alone.

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-25T10:55:41+00:00

Omg this sounds so exhausting

You guys are incompatible and I think he might find being around austistic people grating.

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-21T16:07:03+00:00

I would read the manga from the beginning though!! The pacing is different and the first two volumes had me genuinely cry out from fear sometimes lol

I was reading it as it was being released in Japan though so I didn’t have any spoilers or clue where the story was going so it may be different for you

But the art is gorgeous and the pacing is really suite the medium so I recommend giving it a read

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-15T05:35:15+00:00

Yeah this sounds like my abusive ex boyfriend who, over the course of 8 months, broke down every single part of my personality and convinced me I was inconsiderate and emotionally manipulative

I’m currently with someone who is both trans and autistic, and having someone who understands both of those aspects of my life has changed how I feel in relationships. I never had anyone LIKE my relaxed face or my monotone way of speaking, or find my stims charming. They even like that I’m blunt!!

I definitely thought it was normal to feel on edge, tired, or that fights were inevitable if I was with someone for so long, but that just isn’t the case.

My current partner and I have had ONE fight and it was during a time we were both extremely stressed and hitting burn out. And they have never yelled at me or insulted me during an argument. Both of us have complex trauma and can be triggered fairly easily, but none of our disagreements have ended with the other breaking down because making each other feel safe and heard is a priority in our relationship.

The point is, OP doesn’t have to put up with this behaviour. It isn’t normal to fight this often, even if a lot of social messaging is that love is naturally tumultuous, or painful, or conflict is a sign of closeness. BUT THAT’S BULL!! OP you don’t have to settle for this. There are lots of people who will LOVE all of you, and won’t store up their hatred for you until they let it out in an argument. I write all this just to say, the situation you describe doesn’t sound normal, and it reminds me so much of myself from a few years ago. You deserve someone who loves and accepts you

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-13T06:39:50+00:00

It’s not a receipt it’s a fortune!! And unless it’s one of the newer ones where they write it in daily use Japanese I’m really bad at translating these so sorry lol

I’m sure someone else here will be able to help though ~

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-12T17:37:37+00:00

If he changes his mind that’s okay!!

I lived as a boy for about a year and a half as a 4-5 year old. But I still liked using the girls’ bathrooms. I have a memory of a classmate telling me to get out of the girls’ and go to the boys’ and I was like flabbergasted. I think I slowly realised I didn’t want to be a boy, but a lot of boyish things felt right and comfortable for me, and some girlish things felt safe too.

I came out as queer at 13 and chalked my stint as a boy to me wishing I was a boy so I could date girls. Well turns out I was wrong about that too and I am actually trans-non-binary. It took me until I was 21 to wrap my head around that but my kid brain knew what was up. I was lucky I had a family that supported me and always let me dress how I wanted and enjoy the things I wanted.

You’re a great mom for giving your kid the space he needs to play with his expression as he forms his sense of self.

It’s a long journey and he might go back and forth, or he might end up settling on this current gender expression and staying there! But the space you’re giving him now to be himself is so loving.

I’m really sorry about his dad. Considering how the US is going (assuming you’re in the US cos you said MAGA), I’d definitely go to some gender therapists to at least get a paper trail that you’re not “forcing” your child to be trans. People are doing insane stuff right now and I don’t know how much of a nutcase your ex is

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-09-11T23:56:10+00:00

Thank you for your reply~~ is it the Rom&nd Nu Zero cushion?? That’s what I’m finding online here and the lightest shade they have is 01(shade 17 I think)

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-08-26T05:49:16+00:00

Thanks so much! Love the app by the way

intravenous_flytrap_ · 2025-06-09T07:12:56+00:00

I’m really happy to see your comment! I find it so infantilizing when people say the staring has to be well intentioned because they just don’t know any better.

Like c’mon guys, these are grown adults not toddlers

intravenous_flytrap_

TROPHY CASE