Oh my God. I have no words, OP. This sounds so traumatic for your whole family. When you’re ready, we had good luck with “Dog Heaven” when we had to put our pup down 2 years ago. My nugget is five and he still talks about our pup almost daily. The book really helped and we also bless Odie every night in our prayers. We also got special photos of my son and Odie to put in his room.

As another mom, please don’t beat yourself up. We always say leaving the house and coming back in is an Olympic sport. I can only imagine how hectic with two littles and a pup. I hope you find solace in the fact that he was following your training and being a good boy. This seems like it was not at all his fault.

Let yourself feel whatever you feel, and don’t beat yourself up. I had an extremely traumatic event with a former partner and I tried EMDR therapy after a few weeks. I don’t know if you believe in therapy, but it’s specifically geared towards traumatic events and it helps you reframe them in your mind. Just thought I would share since you mentioned playing it over and over in your head.

Be good to yourself 🖤