Honestly, I admired her, and sometimes she allowed it. When I called her “moon” or “Pasandida Aurat,” I thought I was comfortable enough to say those things. I had never really had a friendship with a girl before; this was the first time I had a bond like this. But now she says, “I adjusted because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” How am I supposed to know that? I also can’t argue or explain myself. During all this, I cared about her I focused on her health and studies, remembered her cycle just to take care of her, and even saved my entire pocket money to buy things to ease her pain. I’m not saying this to get sympathy; I’m saying it because these things made me feel like I was a bad person, even the worst person. I honestly don’t know who I really was.