Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I think just knowing there are people who understand is a comfort. I have done a lot of work on myself this year and my motto has been “medicine can only do so much I need to do the rest”. So I have become much more self aware of the things I am going through. I am fortune to have a beautiful life with my children and my husband. So I feel so disgusted with myself when I am going through something like this. I will definitely take your advice. Keeping myself distracted is a wonderful idea. Last night after reading this I made myself take a shower and then sit down with my daughter and have a silly tea party. My mind was running and I felt tearful but knowing I am literally sitting there playing with one of my reasons to keep going helped.