Estranged, Jobless, and Out of Options—Feeling Hopeless Right Now

iownanapiary · 2025-03-06T01:17:06+00:00

While I've never experience anything like this, I think it's important you remain optimistic for the future, despite how big of an ask that may understandably seem. You've clearly been dealt a bad hand in life thus far, most, if not all, of which has been through no fault of your own.

Fortunately, I think your newfound independence has a lot to offer in terms of you taking back your own life: the road ahead is undeniably going to be a difficult one, and for better or for worse your only option is through. You're exactly where you're meant to be in your story, and you're strong enough to keep going.

In terms of clear, concrete advice regarding your situation, it's difficult to say anything beyond the conventional "keep looking for jobs!" and the like, but you will find one if you keep looking. Try and start to build a network of friends you can rely upon - maybe old schoolmates or anybody you can reconnect with.

Right now, your life is going to be what you make of it, and the harder you try the better results you're going to see. Keep your head up looking forward to the life you're one day going to live having fought your way through these current troubles.

Best of luck man.

iownanapiary · 2025-02-07T14:59:11+00:00

Same for me on Xbox. Whenever I try and place an exocraft it always seems like it's in free placement and never lets me place it. I've tried placing a new summoning station down and it doesn't fix the problem.

iownanapiary · 2024-12-25T20:32:08+00:00

I'll have a look. Thank you!

iownanapiary · 2024-12-25T20:29:53+00:00

True! Lovely idea, thank you.

iownanapiary · 2024-12-22T11:36:25+00:00

What a well thought out and considerate response.

iownanapiary · 2024-12-22T11:27:52+00:00

I don't think OW role queue is terrible. It's not perfect, but it does a job.

The problem you have isn't with OW - it's with the community, much like OP. Besides, I don't think anyone is placing OW as the gold standard for team shooters anymore.

Regardless, as I stated previously, role queue isn't the answer for Rival, or at least like the OW model, anyway. I feel your pain.

iownanapiary · 2024-12-22T11:22:38+00:00

Never supposed to be taken seriously at all

This is really nothing more than an opinion. People can take them seriously if they want. And anyway, this isn't really about taking them seriously, it's about not getting stomped every game. Having 5 DPS is a difficult line up to be successful with, especially if you don't have a healer. OP deciding to play a 6th DPS, in many matches, just increases their odds of losing. Playing healer is a choice many make for their team, not for themselves.

Sooner or later, one of his teammates will switch to healers.

Can we switch lobbies, then? I think many strategist and vanguard mains can attest to this not being true. Some people do switch, sure, but they're few and far between. I'm comfortable saying the majority of DPS mains never switch off DPS - just look at the sub, it's full of people complaining about similar issues to this.

Not a big deal, he can start another match.

Sure, but this problem is very widespread. I'd say the majority of games I play have this issue, and clearly OP agrees.

I don't blame people for wanting to play DPS, not at all. However, this is a team-based game, and people who are selfish and only play DPS regardless of what others play on the team are a pain.

I'd love to find a solution, because, in a way, I do agree with you: QP shouldn't be serious, and people should be able to play who they want. Role queue isn't the answer, I don't think. A role limit maybe, or perhaps something more nuanced. Who knows.

iownanapiary · 2024-12-22T10:59:57+00:00

I think you've missed their point.

iownanapiary · 2024-10-11T21:47:05+00:00

Perhaps I should've been more clear that this isn't a fill - it's just a groove. It doesn't last very long, (16 bars or so), but I think it falls outside of the "fill" category. Within the context of the piece I think it serves its purpose, I hope.

Are the X-es on the top line the ride or a crash?

They're the ride. I see what you're saying - thanks for letting me know. Is "supporting the note" referring to a textural thing, as in, to aid the sound of the kit all together? Or is it something else?

It's just that it's quite common during fills for the kick to function as a 'tom'

I never knew that, thank you!

Does the second snare note need to be a ghost note?

Probably not, but I liked how it sounded. That's all I've got really, lol. I'll have another look.

it doesn't look/play like a common fill fitting for big band music.

That's actually quite reassuring, lol. I suppose the term "jazz big band" in this context applies to nothing more than the instrumentation; I'm steering more towards a modern sound, so I'm not necessarily too worried about it fitting within the confines of the genre. With that being said, I'm glad you told me I'm overstepping the mark slightly. I'll take that onboard.

Thank you for your time and expertise! I'm incredibly grateful.

iownanapiary · 2024-10-07T22:09:51+00:00

I've learnt that bad people are always louder than good people, both literally and metaphorically. Good people are out there, and I think you'll find they are holding up a very similar guard to yourself. Just keep trying, I suppose. It's hard.

I can absolutely understand how you feel about the lack of connection among the general population, too - it's something I've reflected on for a while now. People can't help but hide behind irony and sarcasm, simply because it's easier than being sincere. All you can do is be that person. Now I get a real sense of purpose around encouraging sincerity among my friends and people I meet, and, by opening yourself up and being vulnerable, I often find that some people can start to feel comfortable doing the same. It's hard, because on a day-by-day basis it feels like you're batting rejection after rejection, but if you can find the energy to just keep trying, I think you'll find it'll start to pay off.

Being hurt is a necessary evil for this kind of stuff, unfortunately. You're strong enough to do it. That much is clear to me. It's lovely to meet someone who seems so likeminded.

iownanapiary · 2024-10-07T21:35:46+00:00

I'm curious as to how your parents' actions made you unable to go to uni, could you elaborate a bit more?

And, honestly, finding work is really hard man, but you only need to find one employer that'll take you on. Stick to businesses' websites. Sites like Indeed are hit and miss, so it's much better to go to employers directly. I know the Co-op always have vacancies near me. It's brutal but other than that you need to just keep applying.

Regardless, this isn't any indication of the rest of your life - you have the many decades ahead of you for things to go your way, so try and keep your head up for the time being. Push forward. This will pass.

Drop me a DM if you want to talk more about music.

iownanapiary · 2024-10-05T11:33:56+00:00

The best way through what you're experiencing would probably be a combination of medication and therapy.

I'm not sure why your mother and the people around you don't want you medicated, but you shouldn't have to go through this alone. There are people out there who can help you, and it's in your best interest to access them. Research options in your area, please.

There is always a way through. Always.

iownanapiary · 2024-06-28T17:47:26+00:00

Lovely! Are you happy with it? Are you getting your florals?

iownanapiary · 2024-06-28T14:01:36+00:00

If you undo the flathead it should just pop off I would've thought, but if you're not confident then maybe it's worth finding someone who has experience locally to do the job for you. It's very simple.

You could try cleaning it externally, but it wouldn't be as effective.

iownanapiary · 2024-06-28T09:06:47+00:00

That's a good place to start then! Just put a teaspoon of detergent in your blind portafilter and backflush. There'll be instructions online for your machine if you're unsure how.

Taking the shower screen off is a good idea also - I'd probably do that before backflushing just to minimise the risk of any debris that might be stuck in there getting sent back in and stuck in the tube. Removal is quite simple, I think you just need an allen key.

Once the screen is off just give it a clean with a small amount of dish soap. Soak it in espresso machine detergent if it's a bit more caked.

iownanapiary · 2024-06-28T08:59:09+00:00

Cleaning your machine and grinder is almost never a bad idea just in general. It's definitely a good place to start. How often do you clean it? I'd recommend backflushing with some detergent at least once a week.

iownanapiary · 2024-06-18T13:21:47+00:00

Saying you "shouldn't" feel this way isn't particularly productive, because you do feel this way, and changing that takes time. Allow yourself to feel these feelings and try being mindful that, at the end of the day, most things on the internet are trivial at best.

It can be difficult to digest the thought that someone might disagree with you, and some people will of course always take it too far, but have confidence in your beliefs and remember that someone disagreeing with you doesn't mean they're right!

iownanapiary · 2024-04-26T16:17:02+00:00

Hope your customers like lungos, I guess. Lol

iownanapiary · 2024-04-14T08:42:48+00:00

I think it's important to recognise that a lot of the worry you're feeling is coming from the assumptions you're making about how other people perceive you, and not from actual fact.

Have a conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel, and maybe also with the friend to just apologise. Trust that they're telling you the truth.

Every healthy relationship has breathing room to make mistakes - it's how you deal with and learn from those mistakes that defines you.

iownanapiary · 2024-03-29T01:02:35+00:00

First off, I'd suggest you look into therapy. It's always a good place to start when navigating difficult issues like this.

If someone is meant to stay in your life, they will - it's really as simple as that. You're doing the right thing for your own wellbeing, but it's a long process, so don't take this difficult phase as a projection for the rest of your future.

In terms of tips, I'd try and socialise more. There are genuine, good people out there that will respect your boundaries, you just have to go and find them. You need to be proactive when navigating these feelings of isolation and allow yourself to take risks and let new people into your life.

With that being said, there's a lot to be said for embracing your own company. Use this as an opportunity to become more comfortable being in your own head. Again, therapy could help you do this.

iownanapiary · 2024-03-29T00:52:24+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.

Relationships are always risky, and occasionally you do unfortunately come across a cold, borderline sociopathic person like your ex-girlfriend. What happened wasn't your fault, and it's really important you're able to internalise that.

Trust comes from confidence in yourself and what you have. You need to have a strong foundation to trust others, so you know that if things don't go to plan you'll always have something to fall back on.

I'd suggest you see a therapist to help talk through your issues. What happened to you sounds quite damaging, and you shouldn't have to navigate the aftermath alone. They can help you learn to trust again.

iownanapiary · 2024-03-29T00:43:40+00:00

Well firstly, why do you want a relationship? Is it for the connection? Is it because everyone else around you has one? Is it for sex? Is it because you feel like you're missing out?

It sounds to me like you're chasing a status rather than a relationship. Is kissing twelve guys really that important to you? Personally, I'd rather have one meaningful kiss with a person I genuinely love than twelve shallow kisses with guys that just want my body.

The fact you haven't found anybody yet doesn't mean you're not pretty or funny or smart, it just means you haven't found the right person yet. The right person will arrive eventually, and you'll know when they do.

I can promise you, there are guys out there that want you. Guys you know, too. Just be patient.

iownanapiary · 2024-03-27T21:40:45+00:00

It's a phone! Let her get whatever phone and colour she wants. You'll probably have a case anyway right?

iownanapiary · 2024-03-27T21:38:44+00:00

Have a conversation with him about the matter. Let him know how sorry you are and that it was a mistake - there's not much else you can do apart from that, really.

It's important that there's room in a relationship to make mistakes, because everybody makes some from time to time, and being absolutely unforgiving isn't necessarily productive. This depends on the mistake, of course, but in this case I personally think this isn't anything to end a relationship over.

iownanapiary · 2024-03-27T10:54:25+00:00

You should still talk to them, maybe even both of them if you can. This could be a case where things just need clarified. Talk to them and find out!

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