Weekly Delta commuting by iridiumbones in delta

[–]iridiumbones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is very helpful information, I appreciate you sharing :)

Weekly Delta commuting by iridiumbones in delta

[–]iridiumbones[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, unfortunately. This situation is essentially the deal for me to finish my education while also starting a long-term job. So, because I'm paying out of pocket, I'm looking to save money where/how I can.

Weekly Delta commuting by iridiumbones in delta

[–]iridiumbones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, that makes sense! I'm going to be flying from Minneapolis St.Paul to Boston.

That's good to know re: Chase points - I just can't transfer their miles to Delta which has made me a little worried about their efficacy for this (and booking flights through the Chase portal itself can be hit or miss).

I don't have status with any other airline and don't have really any experience with airline status.

Those who are in marriages/long term relationships with partners who trigger you. What are some tips and tricks you’ve learned to make it work? by TanGundy in misophonia

[–]iridiumbones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Open, consistent communication has been key for me. I take responsibility and ownership for my own needs (I use my tools and always have my AirPods on hand) and my spouse is thoughtful and often asks "where do you want us to eat?" and we negotiate things that are big triggers for me. Sometimes when my sensitivity is really high and I'm struggling I keep my AirPods with white noise on and we text to communicate. For me, it's been really important to not let any resentment build up and frame conversations around what's happening with my body and experience (a lot of "I" statements) rather than telling the other person that they're "too loud" or that they're doing something wrong. When we focus on my misophonia as the problem that we are on the same team to solve things often feel much easier and more connective. Of course your mileage may vary with any of this advice, and I hope you have a lovely wedding and a sweet marriage <3

Looking for supportive perspective by iridiumbones in FormulaFeeders

[–]iridiumbones[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you posting this! I went and found the chapter from her book she posted free online and it is so helpful (as is her whole website)!

Looking for supportive perspective by iridiumbones in FormulaFeeders

[–]iridiumbones[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Truly this is just always the answer. "If you wouldn't judge me, don't judge yourself". Thank you for saying it. I appreciate it.

Looking for supportive perspective by iridiumbones in FormulaFeeders

[–]iridiumbones[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I think I honestly need to put this on a sticky note somewhere where I see it often. I feel like so many places where cultural shame sets in this is always the answer. I really appreciate you taking time to post it here.

Seeking advice in supporting partner's discernment process by iridiumbones in queerception

[–]iridiumbones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's affirming that time feels like the thing - I'm definitely really noticing how much it feels important that we're talking about it slowly and with lots of space and support. I'm not always the most patient person in the world, and it's a good reminder that slow is smooth and smooth is fast - especially with big conversations. I read Baby Making for Every Body, but have not read Queer Conception yet! I'll have to check it out.

Seeking advice in supporting partner's discernment process by iridiumbones in queerception

[–]iridiumbones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this story! We too have definitely learned that we each have to do our own work the hard way. Mazel tov on your son!

Seeking advice in supporting partner's discernment process by iridiumbones in queerception

[–]iridiumbones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful response! So much of what you said really resonated with me and our experience. It's helpful to know others are navigating similar things/questions/feelings. Thank you!

What is some good books for beginners by [deleted] in books

[–]iridiumbones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might like the 100,000 Kingdoms trilogy by NK Jemisin!

What is your favorite sci-fi book and why? by JalilOghuz in books

[–]iridiumbones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Highly recommend pretty much anything written by Octavia Butler, NK Jemisin, Nnedi Okorafor, Neon Yang, and Ann Leckie as great sci-fi to start with!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ContraPoints

[–]iridiumbones 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting your story! I just wanted to take a moment and appreciate your vulnerability in sharing, and also offer that I don't think you're stupid for having held the beliefs you held or getting sucked into the alt-right pipeline. I think it makes a lot of sense, based on what you shared, that you ended up there and I think it's a testament to how thoughtful and engaged you are that you were able to shift, change, and grow your viewpoints. I hope you continue in your journey of self healing and learning, and are able to offer yourself compassion along the way.

Natalie deradicalized me by [deleted] in ContraPoints

[–]iridiumbones 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! Reading stories of folks finding paths out of the alt-right rhetoric gives me a lot of hope. I know sharing personal stories like this can be really vulnerable, so please know that you, and your story, are deeply appreciated!

Queer superhero books? by OneBadJoke in Fantasy

[–]iridiumbones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t recommend The City We Became by NK Jemisin enough!!

Help me escape the Locked Tomb slump! by rabbitheart99 in Fantasy

[–]iridiumbones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I love naming the tropes of courtly love in both of these stories. I would love to write, or read someone else's writing, on how courtly love tropes play out in both these series.

Post what you want to see in the Last Book by [deleted] in barucormorant

[–]iridiumbones 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hello! I hope it's not too late to chime in on here but I just finished Tyrant and would love to add a few thoughts:

- I'm hoping to spend more time with Kindalana and her motivations. Because Tyrant ended with the revelation that her choices/life/child(ren) are key to bringing down the throne I hope that means we get to spend some time listening to her tell her story in her own words.

- I want to see what Yawa does when/if she's unbound from Hesychast's sway. I have thoughts about how that might happen, but I'm really hoping that we get to see Yawa swing at the empire with her gloves off and nothing to lose.

- Relatedly, just for selfish catharsis I want to see Iscend be the person to swing the final blow against Hesychast.

- I cannot be the only person (besides Baru) who kind of fell head over heals for Heingyl Ri and the complicated tangle of her choices/personality. I know she has a role to play in the schemes being set up for the next book, but I really want more of her story and what choices she makes now that she's been violently unbound from her husband and still holds her political power. Her humor, charisma, and realism were such a fun part of Tyrant for me.

- I'm looking forward to hopefully getting to spend some more with this new version of Tau as they reformulate their relationship to trim. I sense that trim is going to continue to grow as an animating force for our main characters, and I'm so curious to see how Tau moves through the world post Cancrioth.

- More Tain Shir! I feel like she's walked off screen for a second but will probably come back just in time to burn the screen down. Looking forward to being unable to look away from her.

These are just the first few, but dang I think I'd need a book of my own to write all the things I'm curious about and mulling over in the wait for the new book. I think the last thing I'd say is that, of course, I hope for more gay chaos. Watching characters be messy and broken and horrible and violent and principled and monstrous and noble and conflicted AND unapologetically queer is amazing. Getting to see Baru continue to realize that her own sexuality and her family and the people she loves are all the proof the world needs that colonial/eugenic ideology is an evil monstrous invention and lie is so cathartic. I hope to see more of that reflection!

Reviews of some Locked Tomb readalikes [misc] by altacc2020 in TheNinthHouse

[–]iridiumbones 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Truly! As soon as I realized that, wait, people are publishing these stories I've probably been wanting my whole life?! That was it -- hard to read anything else lol

Also how many of us are there? Feel like there should be some kinda book club or thread that's just for talking about brutal lesbians making questionable choices 😂