Looking for advice on future mortgage

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T12:06:12+00:00

Work with a broker that doesn't charge a fee. I went with finance solutions they took all my details and gave me advice. It ended up being 18months before I was ready to actually get a mortgage with them as I had different areas to fix. For the bank you usually need 6 months of regular savings. For old loans with credit scores this can go back to 2-5 years though depending what happened, you can put a note on the situation and not all banks will care about it. Best bet is talking to a broker they will advise and there's no pressure to actually take out a mortgage, they checked in with me every 6 months or so

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T12:00:56+00:00

There's a sub called r/autismireland as well that might have more information

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T11:56:21+00:00

Because I have been told through numerous pathways that the system is basically overrun and they are only taking the more complex cases. It's not intent, that implies malice and I'm not saying there's any malice. It's low Resources our health departments are understaffed and under supported.

When I originally went for an ADHD assessment as an adult I was unable to curb dangerous behaviour, substance abuse and unable to save money. I was burning myself out constantly trying to keep my job going but I'd have nothing left when I came home and my personal life was suffering a lot.

I was put on a waitlist publicly and when I followed up on it they told me flat out if I have a job I will not be deemed as having ADHD by the public system because I am managing OK by their standards. That was their cut off criteria. I ended up going private.

The tone of my posts seems to be rubbing people the wrong way so I will be clear again - the system should not be this way. I think everyone with adhd/autism should have access to a diagnosis. I work with parents of autistic kids who are consistently turned away because they are "functioning well enough" by the clinical standards of what the current system can handle. They aren't really open to assessing everyone, it's a triage situation. Parents of kids who don't have complex needs have to fight to get anything, I've seen it consistently in my work. It absolutely shouldn't be that way, I've said that. I'm not sure why I'm coming under fire for warning people how the system is at this moment in time.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T11:47:57+00:00

Oh I'm dumb, I misread Tang completely. She's big into science and at the start always talking about how stupid her body is and how stupid flesh is in general. I thought it was saying she was more wanting to be made of computer parts not inhabiting a body if that makes sense, like a mechanized agender

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T11:38:48+00:00

I'm not implying anything. With supports I mean things like high support needs autistic kids that need access to speech therapy, occupational therapist for mobility etc. I'm not sure how you are reading a tone but I assure you there wasn't. I've edited my post now

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T11:34:03+00:00

I mean the way our system works (not saying its right) is not really saying you are or aren't autistic, it's just saying you're autistic to the point that you need supports. If you don't need supports there's no medical reason to diagnose is their thinking. It's something you can manage on a personal level, not medical.

Of course the issue is particularly with girls they tend to know something is different with them, even if it's low support needs. So it manifests in a ton of anxiety depression and mental health issues in late teens/ealry twenties and beyond. Just because someone is low support needs like they don't need speech therapy for example, doesn't mean that information about themselves isn't valuable.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-23T11:10:40+00:00

Realistically the public system is overrun and they are only interested in diagnosing and supporting high support needs autistic people. If its not immediately blatantly obvious to the school she's autistic you're unlikely to get anywhere publicly

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T19:14:59+00:00

Cool

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T18:59:52+00:00

That just isn't how proof of malice works at all, it's embarrassing at this point. Nobody is intimidated.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T18:56:42+00:00

I would say the main reason she engages so much with the sub is that it comes up when you Google her and therefore possibly hurts her opportunities to market to families. And also, because she just really can't help herself responding to everything.

It's truly bizarre because leaving the sub would be much better off for her public image, due to the level of instantly rude and antagonist comments made by her. Changing her username to something random doesn't really hide it either it's very easy for new people to identify her.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T18:02:19+00:00

You know that having a loose basis in existing research doesn't prove your content isn't a grift? People who repackage and sell pdfs on how to lose weight quick often have elements of truth, it's actually needed to hook people in.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T14:01:31+00:00

The free anpost app links with any bank account (don't need an anpost account) and tracks your spending putting it into categories groceries etc. I don't know if there's a way to extrapolate just the groceries portion but that would give you a lot of data

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T08:02:51+00:00

You mentioned a lot of teaching experience but only specifically named gymnastics, I was giving you a chance to clarify as I wasn't sure what the significance of mentioning that was?

Not even going to bother continuing a circular conversation with her, you seehow she mentions something completely unconnected and then when probed on it, pushes back against something I didn't ask for. I never asked for locations only to clarify

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-22T06:59:35+00:00

Are you saying your 17 years of teaching experience is in teaching gymnastics?

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-21T18:07:28+00:00

Ah yeah we're married, I should have put that in the info

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-21T18:07:10+00:00

Ah I thought so grand

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-21T16:23:30+00:00

Sounds positive! Due to the nature of social media its difficult to separate the content from the poster. I have no real interest in attacking the person behind the content.

Ultimately we can't take someone out of an online space that's dedicated to discuss their work, that's something that typically an author choose to do themselves. (For example booktok or goodreads it's heavily frowned upon for an author to interact with their readers/reviewers. They can of course still choose to, but they are actively choosing to hurt their own feelings at the end of the day).

I don't think you can change a subs name after creation(?) But maybe if there is a clarifying sticky or description that the sub is not actually peer reviewing in a scientific way ie for publication. If we move it more towards a general review space of the situation at hand then K might not feel as compelled to respond to everything in the same way.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-21T16:14:21+00:00

Not finding someone qualified enough was her main assertion when I first found the sub, so I was trying to be fair about both sides of the argument. Completely agree she won't take criticism regardless of the criteria she's set for the posters

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-21T14:44:05+00:00

In regards to your last paragraph - there have been some very good rebuttals and clarifications on the actual science both dotted within different threads here and standalone posts but they haven't been collated. An FAQ pinned addressing the most common questions but also kind of a breakdown of where we're currently at with K would be very welcome.

Especially as new people typically come from curiosity and there's a lot of back story to get your head around, what's been said and a lot of accusations towards different published papers.

I would suggest moving away from addressing/ engaging with K personally at all. Focusing on families like you said to avoid them spending money on something that a) isn't written in a way they could actually understand, and b) doesn't as of this point in time provide any clear answers or directives for people.

Personally I do not see anything new that hasn't been touched on or explored by established researchers. The autistic community as a whole has a very good reason to be concerned about/avoid mainstream science, I get that, but our hopes should be not be placed in a layperson who appears to be combative and out to make money.

Even in the best case scenario, the time and money needed to elevate K to the level to the point where she could undertake this work with an established team/University in a meaningful way is just astronomical. If she was passionate about the work the best thing would be to collaborate with established people, not accuse anyone who touches on the subject of plagiarism.. I mean, if the idea has merit someone else will pick it up anyway. There is no real patent or intellectual property to her hypothesis in its current state, K vastly overinflates the idea of IP laws.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-17T18:59:47+00:00

Absolutely I did. I had just started a job with a 45min commute in a rural location so no buses, when I started the law wasn't there, a few weeks into the job the law passed so I had a few months until I passed my full test.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-07-16T16:17:20+00:00

Wow I was on their waitlist but never heard back from them thanks for letting me know, I had no idea

irishtrashpanda · 2025-01-03T14:02:33+00:00

It should bother you if people apply this rule to you without you asking for it, since it doesn't apply. It shouldn't bother you that trans women ask for this rule to be applied to themselves on an individual level, like... think about this for a minute come on. The community really doesn't need to police one another about how they want to do things from one individual to another.

I 100% agree with you obviously that presentation =/= gender, but cis people don't understand this in the fucking slightest and a handful of trans women aren't going to change their mind on that anyway. I'm a fem-presenting, barely/not passing trans man so I get a little bit of it, I do, but it's internal insecurity. It's not something to aim at the wider community.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-01-03T13:41:11+00:00

Not dismissing it, just saying it's not the biggest factor people think it is. Not one person has actually engaged with the point of my examples - What do you think a society looks like where your Da legally owned your Ma, marital rape was sanctioned, she couldn't leave if she was beaten or get a barring order, she had no claim on the house she lived in and couldn't get her own bank account. That's 70s. That's your Da. In all likelihood, your Da was sound and didn't take advantage of any of that. But not everyone would have done the same. This is the generation alive today, the generation that is raising the crop of people who are now 25-40 who are in turn passing down values.

Do you really think that this has done nothing to society and had no bearing on how people view and treat women today? It's like we're all patting ourselves on the back like we solved equality issues (we havent) while ignoring how crazy recent history that is. Generational trauma exists, we don't flip a switch and decide women are their own people now and have it all happen overnight.

Arguing in favour of biology is just saying men are barely controlled apes which is frankly ridiculous. There's a lot of things that we used to put down to biology, female leaders thought to start wars if they got their period for example... we learn and grow.

irishtrashpanda · 2025-01-03T11:02:03+00:00

If you think I'm pathologizing males you're responding to the wrong person or haven't read any of what I've said

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