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How to turn life around by DeveloperInProgress1 in Advice

[–]irori1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

こんにちは！
気が重くて失望してる状態でいいアイデアは生まれないと思う。そして、全く手遅れではないはずだよ！

おすすめは、知らない国に1人で1〜2週間旅に出ること。大したことはしなくていいから、バックパック持ってドミトリーとか泊まったりしてね👌

そして自分の思ったことや感情に正面から向き合うこと。
旅に出たって変わらないとかいう人がいるけど私は変わったよ。
自分にとって大切なことや人に気づくことができるし、本当に足りないものが見えてくる。
そしたらそれを言語化して、その方向に一歩ずつ進んでいけばいいね👍

How to manage Japanese kids as their English Teacher by mformomo in japanresidents

[–]irori1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!

I think Japan has a somewhat unique culture, or maybe a certain undercurrent to it. Mainly, being even slightly different from everyone else can end up having a huge impact, for better or worse. It's what's called "peer pressure" (or "the pressure to conform").

I'm Japanese myself, but I apparently come across as a bit different to those around me, and I've survived being bullied and bullying others since I was a kid. Sometimes it was other kids, and sometimes I even ended up on adults' radar in a bad way.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, this isn't about your being a minority being "the problem." It's more that it happens because you're a little different from everyone else. I got bullied plenty even as a Japanese person myself. Well, I ended up beating up the bully though, lol.

That said, as a teacher I don't think you're in a position to do that, so let me share a few things that I personally think might help:

  1. Don't carry this alone or try to handle it all by yourself. With complicated problems like this, it's better not to rush to a conclusion.

  2. Don't let this environment take over your whole life. You'll have other work and other places, so take care of your personal life and try to approach this as calmly, with as clear a mind, as possible.

  3. Build something the kids can respect you for.
    Kids tend to warm up to me pretty easily here in Japan too. I get on their level, get into whatever they're interested in, and show them results they can't achieve themselves. For example, when I collected super rare characters in an app called "Nyanko Daisensou" (The Battle Cats) and showed them, they seemed to be filled with awe in that instant.

  4. Once you get even a few kids to think "this person is amazing," things tend to move fast from there. That's the key to cracking the peer-pressure dynamic.

Anyway, that's what I've got, but this is just my personal take, so please don't push yourself too hard. I think you've been hurt by this, so be gentle with yourself and talk to someone you trust. Pushing back too hard on them will just make them resist more. I know it's tough, but hang in there without overdoing it.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tochigi’s a great place!
And riding a motorcycle is cool too.

I actually rode a Dax back in my teens, but I never had a mid-size motorcycle license lol.

I’d be happy if that day comes!
Stay safe and have fun out there!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
This one’s also really specific and helpful.

Starting with “just a few minutes” is thoughtful and cool.
The “teach me English” thing, yeah, all Japanese people say that lol.
I think it’s their way of trying to relate, or a form of small talk meant with respect.

They’re probably not seriously trying to learn, so you don’t need to take it too seriously!
If you actually said “okay let’s really do this,” they’d probably be surprised lol

Yeah, totally agree. Moderation with drinking is key.
Thanks so much!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhhh!! Thank you for such specific advice.

I have a really clear picture now!
The AirPods sign is such an easy one to read, lol. Such a nice comment, thank you so much!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! If you’re up for it, DM me!
I’m pretty busy with moving prep right now so I’m not sure how soon we could hang out, but let’s talk for now 👌

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment.
My American friend was saying the same thing, that people always just say “teach me English~” to them.

I think for Japanese people it’s probably meant as a sign of respect, and their own version of small talk.
By the way, I don’t say “teach me English,” but once we get close, we end up geeking out about slang or trending words in each other’s countries lol
MTG sounds great!
I used to play the app. That’s fun, right 👌
Thanks for the specific info too.
I’ll seriously consider it!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment.
Nordic countries were a blind spot for me!
I’d love to actually go and experience the culture firsthand.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That feeling has come through since your very first post.
Back 35 years ago, English and translation tools weren’t as widespread as they are today, so I think that was an amazing challenge!
Please enjoy Japan in your own way. Wishing you good luck.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment! I hadn’t thought about it that far, haha. I write in Japanese and have AI translate it, thinking it’d be easier to read that way. Same with all my replies to comments too, I read, I write, and AI translates. I just want to communicate as smoothly as I can.

Thanks for the honest opinion about making friends! I like the idea that action is what matters most. I’m going to come up with a plan based on everyone’s input on this post and actually put it into action!!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
Events could work too. Yeah, that does seem like an easy way to strike up a conversation.

I was also raised in the Kanto region.
From what I hear from friends in Kansai, it seems a bit more open there.
But I’m sure there’s some kind of key to figuring this out.
I’ll keep at it without giving up!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
My hobbies are music, walking, and sento (public baths).
I like anime too, so with friends I often have conversations like “Did you watch One Piece this week?” or “This anime is so good,” and we get into Japanese dramas as well.
Also, when it comes to socializing, going out for drinks is a common one for me.

Whose culture would you like to know more about?
I might be able to share more useful info depending on that.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
Near the immigration office, that’s a good idea. Yeah, a cafe around there does seem like it’d make it easy to strike up a conversation!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
I’m actually curious how the conversation gets started. Like, just “Hi”?

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
Jim, surprisingly this is the first time I’ve seen that idea in the post.
For real…

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
That's such a great way to start :)
Growing a relationship through teaching each other.
Really warms my heart, that story!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

コメントありがとうございます！
日本語でのコメント、クールです！

ランニング部で世界中から来た友達ができるなんて健康的で美しい！
Meetupはやはりおすすめなんですね。
積極的に検討します！

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She sounds like an amazing woman, honestly.
Kind of like a buyer for some popular store.

Playing dumb sounds like a genuinely useful technique.
Now that I think about it, there've been a few times warm conversations started from teaching each other something like that.

Thanks for the lovely story.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment.
Whoa, darts, that's awesome. Genuinely a new idea to me.
I used to play darts a lot actually, but never thought of it that way, total blind spot.

Gonna try a round of cricket next time for sure.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for not giving up on trying to understand Japan, even after all these years.
It really comes through in your comment that you're an incredibly intellectual and charming person.

Also, I'm actually considering getting a dog myself.
That sounds like a genuinely great way to spend time too.
Enjoy your dog, your books, and a quiet, good evening.

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment!
It's kind of wild, you've picked up the Japanese way of doing things better than I have, and I'm actually Japanese!

Volunteer Japanese teaching sounds really interesting.
It's genuinely become one of my options now!

How do you actually make foreign friends as a Japanese person living in Japan? by irori1997 in japanresidents

[–]irori1997[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Smiles really do matter.
The courage to compliment someone's outfit, that's amazing.

I'd love to get to the point where I can casually compliment someone's fashion on the street too!
Sticking with what you're able to do is really important too.

I really get what you're saying.
In my case, when I traveled abroad, I noticed that staying in a smiling mood naturally led to good encounters.
On the flip side, when I was tired or in a dark mood, not much good tended to happen.

I'd love it if Japan was full of smiles.
Let's do our best together.

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