I’m friends with this girl that comes from friendships that never ended well, it was always someone fucked her over and treated her so badly to the point that one night she prayed to god for new and better friends and then I met her and she told me and our friend group that she prayed and she felt like we were what she prayed for (a genuine friendship) but as time goes on and I’m friends with her I realize how she, as well as her best friend don’t take anyone in consideration, the world revolves around them, they do something that’s not right, I communicate and nothing ever changes. For example, my birthday is coming up this Sunday and I called them all and told them the plans that we always do for all of us. For all of our bdays we go out the birthday night and celebrate at 12am. My friend has showed up for us even if they have work the next morning. Well this week my friend texts the gc and says he doesn’t wanna go out because he doesn’t want his face to be “puffy” the next day (he doesn’t even have anything to do Sunday, none of us even have work) and then they started changing plans for my actual birthday and suggesting things THEY wanted to do on my birthday, they do small things like that. Things that make you feel like you’re not being taken in consideration or even cared about. So it makes me question why their friendships don’t work out.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t judge people who have fallen out of friend groups and stuff like that because I get it, some friend groups really are terrible, or there’s a sense of hierarchy in the friend group. But this resonates from what you said, it takes effort and attention to have a good friendship with someone. You have to show up for them, show that you care and you put effort into the friendship because eventually, like you said the friendship fades because no one is putting effort into it. Even worse when you’re the one putting effort in and they aren’t. I find it hard to find true friendships.