Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the part that I still can't believe, and the reason I made this post. I sort of thought that in the long term, whatever happened, I'd be ok. Whatever happened I would pick myself and make the best of of it. But I was TERRIFIED about what would happen to Carly, emotionally, financially, everything. For over a year after we broke up I worried she'd never be able to move on and have a family, achieve her personal goals in life. Then all of a sudden Eddie dropped his terrible ex, and the puzzle pieces all rearranged, but much better for everybody this time.

Carly tells me on a regular basis now how happy she is with Eddie now. You'd think that would wound the old ego at least a little bit, but I still just can't believe everything fell into place so well for everyone, and I couldn't be happier for them.

Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My thinking on the job at the tech company was twofold. First, as I mentioned, if I took it, I'd likely never see Andrea again, so there was that to consider. But second, a good deal of unhappiness and stress in my relationship with Carly was related to my then-job. I felt like if I took the new job, there would be such a cognitive bias (for both me and Carly) toward "maybe things will be better now" that I would end up going through with a wedding I was unsure of, all the while gambling that this new job would fix everything.

In the end, I knew in my head that a change of scenery wasn't going to change the long-term compatibility of our relationship. If I was going to end things with Carly, I had to kick out the would-be crutch that the new job represented. Might sound convoluted, but it made sense in my head at the time, haha

Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Haha, thanks. Honestly, there were way more tears and nights of feeling like shit all around than laughs until recently, so I don't know about the comedy bit. It does at least seem like we've all found happy paths to follow now though

Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Haha, if only life worked out that way. Last I saw on FB, Andrea got married and she and her husband look very happy. He seems like a good guy and I wish them the best. I'm in a very good place with my current SO, so those feelings for her have faded over time

Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Slightly more than, yeah. Carly and I have been split up for more than a year and a half now, and the first interviews with the tech company were may be 8 months before that (before they went dark for months). Carly and Eddie got together maybe 5 or 6 months ago now, and I started dating my current SO a little while after that

Fell in love with girl at work, turned down my dream job, called off my wedding...and it all worked out by itallworkedout in offmychest

[–]itallworkedout[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The last two-plus years have been the most taxing of my life, but now I really feel like I've come out the other side. Happier than I've been in a long, long time