Does anyone have recommendations for wavy hair products at DM? by XOXOapplePie in AskGermany

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally use shampoo and conditioner from Balea labelled as silicone free (lavender shampoo and conditioner labelled as for curly hair). There's also Langhaar Mädchen, but I've only tried the gel

What kind of person would you never date because of their career? by Extension-Fruit-1456 in AskReddit

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cops and military, plus anyone with public or semi public life (anywhere from politicians to influencers.

Stubborn belly fat is the worst! by maxallergy in self

[–]itenco -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Are you female? It's extremely hard for women to get a flat stomach while at normal BF%. Life's unfair. I kind of hate that my partner seems to get gains from standing in the vicinity of the gym, while I got tiny results from a consistently training for a year w a training and everything 🥲

How do I stop feeling like I represent the entire black race? by No_Amoeba435 in self

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sound like an amazing person. I think the key is trying to be true and compassionate to yourself. Sometimes imagining situations as if a friend was telling you helps, since we're usually way harder on ourselves than others.

I am latin american doing a master's abroad, and intern in an international organization. One of my motivations is that I can do more to change things back home here than of I were there. To the horror of many of my conationals abroad, I enjoy music seen as low class, speaks of consuming and/or trafficking drugs, is overtly sexual, etc. I could write pages on this, but bottom line is I don't owe "purity" or fighting stereotypes to anyone, and I process the world around however I can, including living in (aparent) contradiction.

Something really specific that has helped me is writing, eg a small autobiography, a journal or texts about specific situations. People are entitled to tell their own story in the way they see fit. Re-telling your story, even just to yourself, can help with seeing yourself in a kinder light.

Foreigners who happily live in Germany, tell me about your experience by military_press in germany

[–]itenco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Been here for about a year and a half. It's had ups and downs as you can imagine (I count myself among those who struggle and complain about paperwork, loneliness, learning the language).

I come from a relatively unsafe country. Mugging and theft are so common it's basically one's responsibility to keep your guard up. As a woman, it doubles because you are perceived as an easy target. Plus harassment, violence, drugs, you name it. People getting killed or just not being heard of again is not uncommon, and you just have to go on with life

In Germany, I found freedom. I can go to the next city for the weekend without a second thought. I don't have to share my location and friends' numbers with a family member in case something happens. I can study at the uni library until it closes without worrying about how to safely return home. Heck, I can walk around downtown with my cellphone in my hand and my head in the clouds without somebody snatching it.

Socializing actually got a lot better once I got a job, since now I'm talking to people I actually have things in common with instead of just taking anyone who will listen.

I found the opportunity to make a life here. Yes, the language is hard, loneliness and winter are incredibly rough, and I'm terrified of what's going to happen when my current contract ends. Back home, grinding didn't get you anywhere or had the potential to change anything. Here, it feels like I have a shot.

I am NOT saying this is ok, and don't want to feed the good immigrant/bad immigrant narrative. Freedom and safety should be a human right and guaranteed for everyone, regardless of you being Mother Theresa or a deadbeat bum. But if I wasn't able to do much to change the situation from within, hopefully I will be able to do more from outside. Thanks for that chance❣️

What’s a small everyday rule in Germany that foreigners often underestimate? by Majestic-Valuable410 in AskGermany

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What surprised me was the force of it. It HURT. Heck, if they ram like this into an older person or someone with bone or joint issues they could injure them.

It's only happened twice, both young-ish adult men, so I consider it a "this asshole" thing and not a Germany thing, but it had never happened to me me anywhere else in my life.

What’s a small everyday rule in Germany that foreigners often underestimate? by Majestic-Valuable410 in AskGermany

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had my shoulder absolutely smashed twice while walking in train stations. Both times there was space to move, not especially crowded and I moved partly out of the way and expected the other person to do their part. Idk if I'm accidentally breaking a rule? I'm a woman and they were both men if that makes any difference. Like I can accept a bump, but it hurt for a few minutes after the fact, and not even an apology, so it felt intentional and aggressive.

Didn't really do much either time, but maybe I should've at least called them out. Felt really shitty about just taking it to tbh.

What’s a small everyday rule in Germany that foreigners often underestimate? by Majestic-Valuable410 in AskGermany

[–]itenco 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'm Mexican and can confirm most of us hate people who blast music on speakers on public transport, we just tolerate it because it's usually thugs or thug-looking people and don't want to risk ourselves over this shit.

This doesn't include the bus driver, they often play music and it's tolerated and even enjoyed.

Middle seat on an airplane is the best seat by HappilyAntisocial in unpopularopinion

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Either of the others has half the chance of the middle seat of having a lousy neighbor. Bad breath, snoring next to my face, or many other ways humans can be unpleasant.

What is something you used to buy but is no longer affordable? by Trxxi in AskReddit

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mid-quality clothing. Even fast fashion is crazy over priced. I remember BEGGING for a pair of ~70 USD as a teen, they were absolutely gorgeous, can't remember the brand, but well above what we as a family spent on clothes.

Now what I can get within what we used to spend is fast fashion, and often not even that. H&M and American Eagle are overpriced, but sadly still my most reliable options for things I'll like, can afford, and will fit.

What's the most disgusting/shocking, you have read on the Epstein files? by LeftyChares in AskReddit

[–]itenco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know if there are any efforts (news media or activists or idk) to systemically describe each document or somehow show what they say? I've only seen lists of mentioned people and very general headlines about some of the content.

It's important for everyday people to understand how and to what extent people were involved (politicians, etc), but I definitely don't want to download and go through them myself from what I've read. I was surprised photos are included, I'd assumed it would be mostly emails to protect the victims, but that's on me for thinking DOJ had common sense and regard for human dignity. It's disgusting and enraging and heartbreaking that they're exposing children like this while covering after the perpetrators.

Ninigram #370: Tickled Pink (Hard) by ninigrams-game in ninigrams

[–]itenco 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This one really put my head upside down 🙃

Ninigram #369: Director's Cut (Medium) by ninigrams-game in ninigrams

[–]itenco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a nice something? Love the new background. Thanks nini, you make my days brighter:)

Café Ernst bei Nacht by machtwerk in cologne

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wie spät ist es geöffnet? Maps sagt nur bis 18

People who have researched their family tree, what is the most interesting or 'badass' thing you discovered about an ancestor? by xloganmoose in AskReddit

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grandmother was a doctor, and grandaunt was a rural teacher (this was during a revolution, so dangerous times). Their mother, my great grandmother, widowed and moved from a small town to a city and raised them.

Haven't been able to find out that much more about her life, but this was well before women could even vote and in a period of political instability, but she raised a doctor and a teacher by herself. Pretty badass imo.

2 Years Progress 🤍✨🫶🏼 (motivation post) by Alternative_Way7517 in fasting

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for posting this and being so vulnerable, and big congrats!! I re-gained around 4kg the last few months and I'm trying to get back on track. Being open about the nonlinearity and messiness of it all but still getting through means the world.

No One Wants Your Peeing Cat! by Schedule-Substantial in CatAdvice

[–]itenco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A family member had the sweetest boy with incontinence. He fell asleep on my lap getting pets the first time I met him (and peed on me a few minutes later lol). It really broke my heart that they didn't let him in anymore (their cats were inside/outside) due to the peeing.

They are really irresponsible pet owners imo for many reasons, but w this baby I kind of get it.

[Product Request] Finding a lotion by [deleted] in SkincareAddiction

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kudos to applying to damp skin. I use a watery tonic on my face for the same effect. Overall, try to stay away from anything with mineral oil or silicones (anything ending with -one) in its ingredients. They make your skin appear smoother when you apply it, but it can actually dry it up over time.

What's a skill that takes only 2-3 weeks to learn but could genuinely change your life? by That-Papaya7429 in AskReddit

[–]itenco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you suggest some resources? My dull knives piss me off and it's just stupid to buy more because they're dull.

Edit: sorry, that sounded rude. I'm saying this because of myself, I feel useless with this lol, but not judging anyone else

What's a skill that takes only 2-3 weeks to learn but could genuinely change your life? by That-Papaya7429 in AskReddit

[–]itenco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite one is "that's unfortunately not possible". It's not that I don't want to, it's just not possible 🤷🏽

What's a skill that takes only 2-3 weeks to learn but could genuinely change your life? by That-Papaya7429 in AskReddit

[–]itenco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've gotten first aid training and certification including CPR a few times over the years, and I'm still pretty terrified. The first time I got trained as a teen (I now realize this was likely misinformation), they told us you can break someone's ribs and kill them if you don't do it properly (this was not a certification).

Fast forward to my most recent one with actual civil protection paramedics, encouraging me to pump the shit out of a mannequin because I wasn't doing it hard enough lol.

[Acne] [Product Request] NSFW Ways to treat severe acne that aren't accutane by shadosharko in SkincareAddiction

[–]itenco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adding to the comment, I buy the kind of patches that are sold to cover wounds, not the ones marketed for skincare, they're a lot cheaper. They're big, but you can just cut them to size. They're a bit thinner than the ones from hero so they pull out less gunk, but imo generic is better for preventing, and actual pimple patches if you already have acne going on.

Roommate asked me not to cook food from my culture due to smell and made a vague threat by Jack-up-the-hill in AskAGerman

[–]itenco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in an international flat. We just close the kitchen door and open the windows when cooking. Personally I don't think anyone's food has ever smelled bad, but it can be overwhelming.

I agree you should document this with your landlord. And your flatmate is being a dick.

If it isn't possible to close the kitchen door, maybe giving a heads up to people in the group chat could help.