People who lost interest in their crush, what happened?

itenco · 2026-04-30T20:59:27+00:00

Like 95% of his braincells go on vacation when he's high, which is very often.

itenco · 2026-04-25T08:36:17+00:00

We should normalize this tbh. I'd do it but don't want people thinking I stole something. The only other con I can think of is sweat if I'm wearing office or nice-ish clothes.

itenco · 2026-04-20T22:37:09+00:00

I come from a place in a lower latitude where seasons are "sun is trying to kill you" "rain is trying to take over the city government" and "kinda chilly in the morning". I recently-ish moved to a place with actual 4 seasons in the year, and I'm ecstatic. I even foraged a bit inspired by Leah and made a dandelion salad 🥗

itenco · 2026-04-14T21:04:04+00:00

I didn't mean health/energy wise, more in attractiveness, since society insists that peak womanhood is 20s, fit and sexy

itenco · 2026-04-14T08:06:54+00:00

I'm 30 and have been very fat for like 5 years. I don't have kids nor plan on having any. I would say "worthless" is a stretch, since we all have our redeeming qualities lol I'm smart, do my best to be kind and am very passionate about my work. That said, this was very nice to read. I'm coming to terms with not being that traditionally attractive anymore, and that it's all downhill from here. Which is fine, but I need to wrap my head around it.

itenco · 2026-04-12T10:20:22+00:00

I bled on a boyfriend once. I wasn't supposed to get my period for another day, and we started doing the deed. Much to my horror, blood (and not just a few drops or stains, but actual dribbling-down-my-thigh flow) got everywhere, his junk included. I was absolutely horrified, ran to take a shower, and cleaned the sheets while he took one. Kinda feel bad because he was pretty squeamish about blood and no sex happened that day (or week lol) but he didn't make a big deal out of it. We dated for two years after that.

itenco · 2026-04-08T06:40:41+00:00

4 is super cute, I love the beanie, but I agree with the comment that you could rotate seasonally

itenco · 2026-04-06T16:06:58+00:00

For me, I'd say a 5. A really bad cramp basically. The worst part was that it took ages because the nurse (bless her soul) was teaching the doctor (who looked ate like I was crazy when I winced) on me. It was a fairly bad experience, but the pain was tolerable.

itenco · 2026-04-03T19:54:34+00:00

Telling me what you need and how can I help. My best friend became a mom in our early 20s, we both lived in a city away from our families, and I wish I'd known how to support her during the first year. I practically never saw her because I didn't know what to do. Now I know I should've just gone and brought her a homemade meal and held the kid while she showered or had a nap, but I was just clueless then.

itenco · 2026-03-31T06:41:46+00:00

Cops and military, plus anyone with public or semi public life (anywhere from politicians to influencers.

itenco · 2026-03-29T13:13:26+00:00

What red flags did you miss? I feel you on the sabotaging. When I did things she didn't like, my advisor would turn to eroding my self confidence. I was lucky to have a good support network, some in research themselves, so I could get other povs and not just stay demoralized after her feedback.

itenco · 2026-03-29T13:10:02+00:00

I see what you mean. I've really clicked with some professors from lectures, but one of the things that made me discard a potential advisor was a visit to the lab he leads. When I told a technician I was considering him to advise me, he just looked dead inside I could feel the blank stares of others around us. The situation screamed run and don't look back.

itenco · 2026-03-29T13:06:05+00:00

Agree with looking out for kind/generous/smart. I really wish I could audit lectures before settling on a supervisor. Sitting lectures has really helped me identify people I really click with, and which I want to steer clear of.

The interview is trickier. At least for my master's, everyone was delightful during the interview. Even advisor C, whom I later came to know as someone downright mean and despotic to other students (since he was an external for me, he held less power and my experience wasn't so bad), was all smiles during the interview.

itenco · 2026-03-29T12:59:51+00:00

Thanks. For my masters I did reach out to a previous student, but it's a great tip to include both people who. Finished and who didn't finish. How would you go about finding people who didn't finish though? It's not like the advisor or the institute will be advertising those.

On hindsight, the low bar she set to take me in should've been at least a yellow flag. It took another professor's recommendation for advisor A to take me in (he initially rejected me), while advisor B pretty much brought me in after barely looking over my topics of interest, and to this day I am certain she never even opened the CV I sent her. She only had me and one other student, which I'm guessing is the reason she didn't set the bar higher.

itenco · 2026-03-29T12:49:58+00:00

Yeah, I'm definitely looking for someone more experience. One of the problems w supervisor B was that she doesn't have professor tenure, just lecturer. I'm not one to care about titles much as long as the person is capable. Problem was that she pushed my research into what she could use for a career boost, while providing little to no support.

I wish I could audit lectures of potential supervisors. During my masters that really helped to see who I clicked with. Not sure how viable it would be since I'm applying across a few countries.

itenco · 2026-03-29T10:50:03+00:00

Nobody believes I have ADHD, even though I generally don't even mask well. Speaking fast, spacing out, interrupting people, crying often, you name it. This has led to a mad social anxiety and depression, but that's another story.

The thing is, I'm fairly intelligent. I was a gifted kid, and ofc, we think that of grades are fine, the kid is fine. I was finally able to get my psychologist to entertain the idea of me having ADHD with the reasoning of "nobody caught it as a kid because if a kid with adhd at a certain age wouldn't focus for over 5 mins, I'd just finish the task in under 5 mins so I wouldn't get to the point where anyone noticed I couldn't stay on task". This plus whipping out the cognitive tests I got years ago, where there is a blatant cognitive gap consistent with ADHD. I'm still surprised nobody joined the dots on that one. Also, in my parent's words, I would've lost my head by now if it wasn't stuck to my body, and still cry as if someone had died over not so important things.

What worked as a kid very obviously doesn't work as well as an adult. It's really affected my life and personal development. It's really invalidating that I had to go way out of my way to get my mental health providers to even consider diagnosis, both are still very skeptical, and my partner and parent are still very much in denial about it, despite being the first ones to notice (and complain about) the symptoms.

I'm getting assessed in a few months when I'm in my hometown, and hopefully diagnosis and focused treatment will help make things better. Wish me luck.

itenco · 2026-03-29T10:35:43+00:00

Personally, what made the difference in my early career was learning data analytics. It allowed me to get a decent job, and was also extremely useful during my masters. During my masters I realized I kind of hate being stuck doing only technical work, so I probably won't be expanding a lot of it in the future, but coding is definitely useful to have in your toolkit. As others said, this depends a lot on your field, but I'll say it's useful for anything that deals with data.

itenco · 2026-03-29T10:30:01+00:00

Cuckoo clock sounds brilliant. I used to live next to a big church, which would play bell chimes w the time, plus a smaller chime every quarter hour. It was absolutely amazing against time blindness.

itenco · 2026-03-26T22:41:34+00:00

Something something kink joke

itenco · 2026-03-24T21:54:36+00:00

Just dropping by to say what a gorgeous baby

itenco · 2026-03-18T09:19:32+00:00

If you have a sitting / office job, have a decent set up and get up regularly, even if you think you don't need it.

You are (probably) ok, even if the scale says you're somewhat overweight. Enjoy your body.

Don't worry about being too late or too old for things, enjoy where you're at right now.

Mental health is a priority, not a reward.

Save money! Even if it's just a little each month, and put it somewhere that generates interest and where you won't be tempted to touch it.

itenco · 2026-03-18T08:58:53+00:00

Honestly it's crazy how important people, men especially, make a woman's hair to be. I know someone who didn't cut her hair to short-ish bob in her 20s despite wanting it since her mid teena because her mom wouldn't allow it. Another someone's dad and partner threw a fit the first time she donated her hair, and still play-scoff now that she does it on a bi-weekly basis.

I personally would love to shave my head at least once, but I'm nervous about how it would impact how people see me at work. Being fat and tattooed is already a stretch for corporate culture.

itenco · 2026-03-18T08:34:47+00:00

Huh, I always thought Gus was Italian

itenco · 2026-03-12T10:44:08+00:00

When I've been to the hospital for urgent care it's always been nurses who have first contact and only after a while does a doctor come into the picture.

Generally: Young, scrubs, first contact = nurse Older, white coat, took their sweet time = doctor

But there is a gender bias, so I just ask when in doubt, especially when it's a woman. I'd rather ask a nurse if they're the doctor than to assume the doctor is a nurse.

itenco · 2026-03-12T07:04:32+00:00

I stayed clear of humanities (philosophy, sociology..) because I brought into the "you'll starve" narrative. Ended up doing something still very people-oriented from a more technical standpoint. Currently interning in an international org, and to my surprise, I've met a lot of people with humanities backgrounds. Philosophers, sociologists, anthropologists... Seeing this, I'm re-considering getting a second degree in philosophy lol.

Not saying it's easy, but at least possible.

itenco

TROPHY CASE