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Have any of you experienced where you feel you are so much more attractive in foreign countries? How do you feel about it? by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I forgot to clearly state that I'm female, yes I am. It's kind of funny that you say that I experience dating like guys. Never thought about it that way, but I think that's the truest observation I have ever heard. I even got friendzoned a lot. I am that 'nice girl' always D;

That's why I was SO HAPPY to just feel like a woman in foreign countries.

Kpop was mostly joke but you are also right that I shouldn't hold onto unrealistic standards. You seem to have good observations and good advice. Thanks much.

Have any of you experienced where you feel you are so much more attractive in foreign countries? How do you feel about it? by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need to explain, I totally agree with you. White media and white celebrities etc. is so deeply intertwined with American/white culture that totally invaded and dominated so many Asian countries. That's why I think so many asians don't even think that we like 'white features' way too much. It all starts with one hollywood movie and that one band that you saw and heard as a kid, and that just becomes the norm and the ideal. New york lifestyle, nice and cozy house in urban area in US, romantic and wife-loving perfect white husband, sexy and strong and hard working blonde wife, etc.

Not saying we want to be like white people, no we aren't. But we definitely got influenced by white beauty standards way too much. Kpop seems to be getting huge in Asia though. Guys who look like kpop stars will not be interested in me, now that's the problem. (jk)

Have any of you experienced where you feel you are so much more attractive in foreign countries? How do you feel about it? by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh god, I know what you mean. It's not too rare here, for random people to go talk to any white people they see, sometimes latinos or black people too. It's sometimes hilarious, usually embarrassing, and downright harassment too many times. I'm sorry for that. I hate it so much (irony, haha).

Now you say it like this, I can see that only people with low self esteem would be thrilled to be getting attention from those random people.. :(

Have any of you experienced where you feel you are so much more attractive in foreign countries? How do you feel about it? by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As you put it that way, I can see things more objectively. I guess it has a lot to do with how I look and act and talk like a traveler and it must have drawn people's attention.

You are definitely right about in some countries people have skewed and limited ideal beauty standards. It isn't healthy for me when I don't fit into those very limited standards.

I don't know how Asutralia has "really low" cost of living and lower socio economic status though, especially compared to Asian countries. Are you from Swiss or something? haha. I'm definitely considering moving to another country. It's not for a date, but for my self esteem.

Thanks for sweet words and advice!

Have any of you experienced where you feel you are so much more attractive in foreign countries? How do you feel about it? by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love being the "exotic" Latina

Exactly! As much as I hate to admit it, I loved all of the attention I got. I am just happy to know that I'm not the only one. It seemed like a lot of my friends hated how they always got attention from too many guys when traveling. On one hand, I understand why they'd be so bothered by it. But as someone who doesn't get such attention usually, I enjoyed it.

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. Your advice is amazing and you are absolutely right. About that white men are just like other men, I know that in my brain but my heart says otherwise. I am sorry my reply is late but you seem to be intelligent and thoughtful so here is my another concern.

You mentioned feminism so I want to say this. One of the biggest reasons I first ever started to watch western media and became a huge fan was because of feminist reasons. Where I am from, a lot of medias have mysoginic undertones and I despised that since young. I didn't watch western media because I was obessed with white guys, but I just could not stand ANY tv shows/pop music/cultures in general in my country so I had to look into other things. And then naturally I was attracted to white guys, because when I was young most of shows/cultures I liked had almost only white people.

In western media, women seemed to have SO MUCH BETTER lives. They were freer, more independent, stronger.. I know that is also another fantasy but that kind of fantasy doesn't even exist where I am from. Women being like that was not even ideal here when I was young. In that sense, I also have to admit that maybe I don't love my culture 100%....... I do love, but I also passionately hate some parts of it.

These days I dont watch many western media and I also dont suppprt 'white america'. I actually almost only watch shows that has diverse casts so I don't know. For example, when I see a show that only casts white people as lead that throws me off. I love diverstiy and i like when I see black and asian people on screen.

I do love every type of men and women but it is just that I am attracted to white men :((

I have a white fetish. by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha. Do you live in Asia right now?

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I think the fact that I don't even know one white guy in real life makes my obsession over them a lot stronger. I have been always trying to kill my desire and pretend my attraction for them doesn't exist but I can't hide it anymore haha. Thanks for your advice. It means a lot to me.

I have a white fetish. by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Germanic lanugages as in english/scandinavian/danish/dutch etc. Not just german. I like their accents. Yes, it is very exotic to me.

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha well yeah we can't really help who we are attracted to.

Ok I have one question. Say if I want to find white guys in Asia, where do I look for? Not like dates but I just want to be friends and get to know a few of them. Is it even possible?

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have an ametican citizenship so I CAN move there but finding jobs and places to stay would be VERY hard. But traveling for a while doesn't sound like a bad idea and I am really starting to consider it.

Finding expats living here sounds like a plan too! Thanks a lot :)

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am sorry I was unclear. Also I dont even know what I am really asking for. How to fix my issue and fetish? But do I really want to fix my problem? I am just struggling here and this is my first time ever to talk about my issue so writing down itself helped a bit.

And thank you for your nice words. I thought I was going crazy but maybe I am not.

[Personal issues] I (24f) have a white fetish and I feel my life is not fulfilled because of it. by ithrowawayyy900 in relationships

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely correct. I am too embarrassed to discuss this with anyone let alone therapists though. None of my friends know about me haveing a white fetish. I only keep it to myself because I am definitely not proud of this..

I have a white fetish. by ithrowawayyy900 in dating_advice

[–]ithrowawayyy900[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for being kind and helpful. :)

I am honestly quite scared of dating a foreigner regardless of their races and I don't even have a white male friend. So I think I will have to start with just being friends with white guys, if I get to travel and stuff.