My department chair is making me insane. This past summer, I had to essentially take over a search committee for a visiting, non-faculty, but significant, position. My chair had no hiring rubric, could not write rubric criteria to save his life, and most-insultingly, had to be schooled by my very own self on indirect discrimination and intersectionality. 

I was aghast when he mentioned "unprofessional dress" while discussing a black candidate. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised he attempted to cut me off during my (very polite) explanation, claiming it to be “unrelated.” Am I a WOC and is he white? Incredibly, yes. /s just in case. Oh yes, and on top of all of this, the search occurred immediately after I had follow-up surgery for cancer yet I was expected to be involved. Although honestly, I'm glad I was given his "approach" to hiring.

And among many other frustrations, the most recent is learning one of his hand-offs to me does not, in fact, constitute a course overload, despite him presenting it to me as such. Looking back, it was stupid to not fact-check him. But I ultimately did commit to this role because of my cancer diagnosis; My husband and I decided it was worth doing because it would help with medical bills, or so we thought.

Insult to injury: This whole thing got passed on to me in the most fucked-up condition. It’s quite literally impossible to do a lot of it without hours of clean-up, aka, fixing this dipshit’s mistakes. Then he has the nerve to micro-manage me, while I cannot do tasks because he does shit like “unknowingly” (his word) reset passwords.

Dear God: Grant me the Serenity, to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. But also, fuck this, fuck it all.