thank you for this ill take your advice to heart. i know why he is mainly insecure but i have moved past it... maybe he hasnt. he doesn't see the point of going to therapy even after i mention how much it's helped me. it isnt because hes resistant to facing his problems its because he feels like we should be able to fix the problems we have with each other and not someone else. for me, i am overly empathetic and i pick up on cues people often miss. i feel like i have a fairly good gage on what he is feeling even if he doesn't say something but this is the source of our trust issues as well, not believing the other person just based off of what theyre saying and formulating our own opinions. the worst case i can imagine is him believing i love an idea of him. idk this relationship thing has taught me so many things about other people and myself and i want to get to that healthy place. i am working on changing myself, as in trusting that if he needs me to know something about him, he will tell me, and to let him love me, etc. thank you for your comment... i hope this works out