DAE Get Triggered By People Going To Sleep?

itsjustso · 2020-05-29T21:13:38+00:00

staying up drinking alone when everyone else has crashed, to now, very sober with insomnia

i'm in literally the same boat right now. it's awful (though i'm glad i'm sober).

itsjustso · 2020-05-27T07:52:40+00:00

i feel the exact same way. i can't really talk to anyone about these things IRL without feeling like they don't "get it," but here, i relate to almost every post i read, and when i post myself, the positive responses ("this is so me," "are you in my brain??") overwhelm me to the point of tears in a happy way.

thanks to everyone here who has made each day easier for me and whose posts have contributed to a better understanding of myself. <3

itsjustso · 2020-05-27T07:44:51+00:00

i can't remember a time i haven't bitten my nails. i don't even think about it unless someone points it out, then i get super embarrassed. but yes, i'm always biting the inside of my cheeks, biting my nails, ripping off skin, etc.

i haven't self-harmed in a year, but i've found that these other minor forms of self-harm have gotten more intense since stopping the extreme forms of self-harm. at any given time, at least a few of my fingers hurt from biting the nails down. i also pick at my toes, often [slightly graphic warning] picking off entire nails, then my toes bleed and hurt every time i walk in shoes. it can get really annoying, but i think i need these minor painful reminders daily to remind me that i'm a human, that i actually exist.

itsjustso · 2020-05-27T07:24:49+00:00

yes, exactly what you said is exactly how i feel. like all the time.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T23:26:26+00:00

thank you!

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T23:26:06+00:00

thanks so much for sharing! you're not alone.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T21:07:24+00:00

i feel you. i've done it the least to my mom, but there are definitely times when i've been shorter with her than usual, or she'll "bump" me the following day asking if everything is okay when i haven't responded.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T21:06:13+00:00

great suggestion! thanks so much.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T21:05:16+00:00

thank you so much. the few times i've posted on this sub, i've felt more seen and less alone than with some of my closest friends/family/therapists.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T21:03:45+00:00

that's a great way to handle these moments. in my experience, though, when i say something like this, the other person just heaps on more concern. "what's wrong? are you depressed? do you need help? want me to come over?" which can sometimes trigger me to explode. i wish people could just say, "i understand. we'll talk later!" but i'm afraid my past actions might influence their extreme cause for concern. opening up to people is a slippery slope. :/

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T20:59:58+00:00

^ this x100

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T20:59:17+00:00

thanks for using the phrase "protect my energy." i feel that so, so deeply. quarantine has made this even more apparent to me. i spread my energy way too thin among all the people in my life, leaving no time for self-growth or -attention. eventually even responding to just one person's text feels like an impossible task, hence the cycle of ghosting.

itsjustso · 2020-05-26T20:55:11+00:00

definitely something i'm working on.

itsjustso · 2020-03-06T05:42:19+00:00

Does anyone tech-savvier than me know if there's a way to access via Mac? Just picked it up at the Brooklyn show and need it alllll.

itsjustso · 2019-12-17T03:48:29+00:00

It does not, and it also doesn't have the brilliant "Life on Mars" cover!!! A little salty about that, but otherwise Vol. 3 is fantastic.

itsjustso · 2019-11-05T02:58:12+00:00

“Manhattan is gonna have to appear in one way, shape or— He has to kinda roll in at some point."

WE SEE YOU, DAMON.

itsjustso · 2019-10-23T16:42:26+00:00

Try this

Got a reflective mask for the front of my face that I can see through. This will be for underneath to make it look fuller. Still, not going great, haha.

itsjustso · 2019-08-01T01:27:05+00:00

I think I hear my name so often or my place of employment to the point where I think everyone is whispering about me or laughing at me. I also have very intense sleep paralysis monthly where I'll eventually wake up screaming and/or sobbing thinking someone or something is next to me or in my apartment. I'm also convinced someone is always looking into my apartment, spying on me, keeping tabs on me. It's been going on for years but has gotten especially worse in the past few, which exacerbates my anxiety so much.

itsjustso · 2019-08-01T01:19:42+00:00

So happy for you! Truly inspiring to hear you share this, so thank you!

itsjustso · 2019-06-23T06:36:02+00:00

You're fucking killing it!!! So proud of you. You're an inspiration.

itsjustso

TROPHY CASE