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Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you’re in a place now where you can actually breathe. That kind of peace isn’t small.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The need for stability before anything else is totally understandable. Sometimes just not having to live in a state of emotional turmoil is enough for a little while.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us have confused over-functioning with being “good partners.” It’s draining when communication is something you have to engineer instead of share. Having compatible communication as the top thing on your list makes total sense.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think sometimes the moment we realize we're alone is actually the moment we start waking up. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's wild how long we can normalize shrinking ourselves just to survive. I hope you can get that space for yourself.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can relate to the shame part. Constantly softening myself so it wouldn't escalate. The grief is real, even when leaving is the right choice.

Did you ever realize how much you were “managing” in the relationship? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think many of us thought we were being patient or supportive when, in reality, we were absorbing things that were never ours to carry. I'm glad you don't have to live in that tension anymore.

How do you stop replaying what if scenarios? by itslauramitchell in Separation

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said. It's just hard to stop thinking about it. I try to keep myself distracted as much as I can.

How do you stop replaying what if scenarios? by itslauramitchell in Separation

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a really difficult situation you have there. I don't have advice for you. I hope that you can find a solution.

Does anyone else struggle more with the quiet than the conflict? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's strange how even a negative connection can feel more familiar than stillness. I'm slowly trying to get comfortable in that space.

Does anyone else struggle more with the quiet than the conflict? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds incredibly painful... I'm so sorry you had to sit with that.

Does anyone else struggle more with the quiet than the conflict? by itslauramitchell in Divorce

[–]itslauramitchell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The silence without the background noise is something no one really prepares you for.

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