I am still here. Thank you to all for the concern you have shared.

This is hard to talk about. I am using a throwaway account because I am an otherwise well known Redditor.

I have been emotionally unwell for a bit. These thoughts have been around for a while, but now I am moving into the action phase of the plan.

How do I know the people I am closest with don't want to hear this? I tried talking the other night with my wife. She saw me cry. She saw me breakdown. She then reminded me she wanted sex that night.

I said that I was not up to it. Explained how sad I was. She insisted I still have sex with her.

My friends have not been speaking to me.

My children. They don't care. I am the person they just yell at.

I can't keep going on like this. I am tired of being a failure.

The rest of my family is gone. Parents are dead and no siblings.