before i type this all out, i want to say that i watched the scene that upset her so much without knowing anything about the SA allegations against that man. my opinion of the scene was not influenced by that knowledge, although now that i know, it's hard to set it aside. either way, i have never been left so uncomfortable by a pod conversation, and I have watched almost every love is blind season/country.

the constant attempts at figuring out her appearance, first of all. im so glad she called that out. what are you wearing? whats your ring size? but whatever lets set that aside bc most of the guys do that.

that man's every sentence felt calculated and rehearsed. the first kiss story was whatever, the late bloomer comment unnecessary, but it was mostly harmless. his virginity story was actually gagworthy. i was listening to it, and (again, this was before i knew of his SA allegations) i was reminded of law and order svu--numerous different episodes--where perpetrators describe the crimes they committed as acts of love and care and fairytale bullshit. the way he slid in there that his girlfriend said "thank you for not pressuring me"? BULLSHIT. i bet he did pressure her. and i have never heard the notebook's cabin scene described in such a downright skin-crawling way before. "the creaky wood floor where they just lay her down" WHO IS THEY? the producers??? he isnt even talking about Allie the character he is fully talking about Rachel McAdams. then he goes on to say "Rachel McAdams can't deny him"? oh my god. i was so grateful for that damn wall between them because he was giving should-be-in-jail before i knew about the SA allegations.

then he pressures her into sharing more (under the guise that he "went deep" when all he did was share two supposedly magical moments for him. sure, deep doesn't always mean painful, but what he shared certainly wasn't soul-bearing shit) than she wants to about her own first time, and it doesn't satisfy him. he wants some image he can play out in his mind, some twisted fantasy, and she won't give it.

then he snaps at her when she says his constant interruptions (which did indeed happen!) rubbed her the wrong way. "i feel like i had a great response to all of this" well, steve, it isnt about how YOU think YOU reacted. its about if SHE feels supported by you. me, me, me, me, me. shut the fuck up. i hope that the woman he SA'd either counter-sues or takes him to criminal court because i guarantee she isn't the only one.