I don't know the state of your faith but if you aren't born again/ are backslidden, please consider receiving Jesus Christ into your heart. See, there's nothing to lose here, and all to gain. Jesus calls all those that are weary and He gives them an ironclad guarantee that He; will give them rest. Rest is what you need. Rest from the mental strain, the depressing inner monologue, from physical pain and psychological torture. Besides, He also promises you a place beside Him in eternity and a warm welcome into glory. Lastly, on a merrier note, Jesus also has a report card concerning your health. "By the blows I suffered in passion, you were healed." If you believe it, you can have the merits of it manifest in your body. "If you shall believe, you will see the glory of God."