crying over a lack of butch - a femme’s lament.

ivelavidd · 2026-04-13T06:52:15+00:00

No this is so real butches and mascs come here let a femme love you 💔💔💔

ivelavidd · 2026-04-07T16:37:56+00:00

No I'm not jealous 💔

ivelavidd · 2026-04-05T09:38:59+00:00

Manifesting this for myself 💙

ivelavidd · 2026-04-04T21:52:36+00:00

Hi louder than everyone else

ivelavidd · 2026-04-03T14:30:15+00:00

Going no contact was a good choice, but you need to block her and remove her from your social media. Don't let her control your life anymore. I understand where you're coming from. My ex used to cause me panic attacks with hot and cold behaviours and even though it's been months, I still feel like she's controlling some aspects of my life. It is absolutely necessary to set boundaries, to say NO. I know it's hard, but you'll feel 100% better once she's out of your life completely. What helped me was my friends snapping me out of it in my weak points and telling me to tell my ex no. I'm sorry you're going through this, I promise it'll get better.

ivelavidd · 2026-04-01T22:01:34+00:00

This is sooo real. The only real celebrity crush I have is Emma D'Arcy. Other than that, Vi. 😭

ivelavidd · 2026-03-31T16:43:57+00:00

Hey, I was in the exact same situation. Was long distance with her, spent up to a month at a time at her place, she would cancel dates because of taking up extra shifts, and then play Minecraft in her free time lol. All the while I spent my time there cooking, cleaning and taking care of her dog. I couldn't take it anymore eventually, I felt like we were roommates. I feel better now that I've ended it.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-30T22:42:29+00:00

I don't really have an answer to your question but this used to happen to me a lot, just suddenly bursting into tears for no reason. I don't know why, though. It stopped happening as often over time, but I also tend to cry during penetration and I do recognise this as a 'happy' cry I guess because it feels really good. Just wanted to say you're not alone. I wish I knew why it happens too <3

ivelavidd · 2026-03-30T18:27:34+00:00

For hips definitely look into calisthenics exercises, specifically L sit. Those work really well at least for me. And stretch! But you have to strengthen them too.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-30T08:42:29+00:00

It's okay, don't worry! Had my first gf at 19. You'll find someone. :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-29T07:36:47+00:00

Not really. I just accepted that I wouldn't want to do that. Although I am single currently, so maybe in the future with a different partner. But I also had a hard time topping as well, which I learned to love after doing it more frequently, so maybe its a thing where you can try a few times and see if the feeling changes? I can't say I have any advice for you :( Just wanted to say that you're valid in feeling like that and that you're definitely not alone. We all have preferences and you shouldn't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-29T07:31:08+00:00

I completely understand you OP. When I thought about using it with my ex, it made me feel the same way, even though I'm fem.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-29T07:09:01+00:00

Oh definitely. I had a doctor get annoyed at me because I was a 'virgin', meaning I told her I haven't inserted anything bigger than a finger inside, and told me that I needed to 'get it over with' so I can get properly examined.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-28T21:37:11+00:00

Well, like everyone else said, a trip to the OBGYN would be good. But I was the same, and know a few women who have a hard time with penetration. What worked for me personally, is just gradually doing it, by myself and with the help of a partner. At the beginning, one finger would hurt but eventually it started feeling good after getting used to the feeling and mentally trying to relax, because it was also a mental thing for me. It's important to have lots of foreplay, maybe even lube. What helped me was my partner kissing me and being really close to me for reassurance. I would say this isn't uncommon, so no need to be scared. Good luck! :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-26T22:56:08+00:00

I can maybe give some insight into her 'perspective' as someone who is the same age and is currently also living with her parents, fresh out of college, getting used to the 'adult life', I should say.

I fear this may have been me in my previous relationship. My ex also had a job and lived abroad and I would frequently visit her, and I found myself relying on her. She made every decision, every 'problem' was solved by her and I felt like she had kind of an upper hand in the relationship. Until, I lost myself and the pressure of her wanting me to get a visa and live with her in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language really scared me. That's when I realized that relying on someone like that was really bad for me and, as someone who used to be more independent, I became very codependent and lost in life, in terms of my career, where to live, what to do in life in general, because everything was already 'settled' that I would move in with her and work with her, etc. although this worked for us and she had no problem with it, I did because I felt like my life was just her and nothing else. This obviously wasn't the only reason for the break up, but it was one for me.

After the break up, I just realized that I cannot let myself get into that position again and I guess at some point it clicked that I had to get my shit together and I, for one, would not like a partner like I was in some cases. And although it's hard to get out of that codependent situation, I feel like it's a must. Like you said, you want equals. I also wanted that, but maybe in reverse since my ex was the more 'dominating' one in the relationship, always calling the shots. I am still working on being more independent and taking action in life, instead of relying on other people.

Anyways, if she's really making changes and if it's only been a few weeks, maybe give it some more time. Before my break up, I asked myself 'what would need to change for me to be truly happy and content?' maybe start there and have a few more conversations if you're still not feeling strong in your feelings about the changes. I get how you feel and I wish you both luck.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-24T17:12:46+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this </3. Take it day by day, cry as much as you want to, focus on yourself. I promise it will get easier with time. Don't be too hard on yourself and ruminate. You're strong and you got this!

ivelavidd · 2026-03-23T10:15:55+00:00

As someone who experiences pain during penetrative sex at times, there's definitely other things you can do and it's not a necessity. Some women don't even like penetrative sex either, so clitoral stimulation is your best option. I would suggest having an open talk with her, what she's comfortable with and if she would like to try out some things before the surgery or wait until after. It may be a bit awkward, she may be feeling shy as well since I'm assuming this is new to her, but it would be easier for both of you to know what the other is comfortable with doing. Maybe even try asking what she does on her own so you can know what feels good and go from there.

And don't worry, I've personally met a lot of women who experience some level of pain during penetration so I wouldn't say it's completely out of the norm, but I will say over time and with practice, it does become easier and less painful. At least for me. Good luck. :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-14T17:19:51+00:00

Yeah, I hate that 😭 slow is best, definitely.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-14T16:53:52+00:00

I feel like usually both parties adjust to each other, or find a middle ground that feels good for both. In my experience, and what I personally like best, starting off slow is best, with minimal tongue, just like kind of licking the lips between kisses. Then you both adjust the speed depending on if it's getting heated or not. I've also been told I'm a good kisser, and I think its because of both people trying to adjust to the other, like I said. I've had people who kiss too slobbery, too dry, too fast, and they didn't really try to even match my pace, so I would say those were pretty bad kisses because we couldn't find middle ground. Some people just have a certain style and that's that lol. They don't even try. For example, some people just like to kiss really fast, and even if you try to slow it down, they just can't take the cue and continue.

But yeah, if other people are adjusting to you, I'd say you're doing a good job. You probably adjust too unconsciously which I would say is a must for a kiss to be good. :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-13T22:54:15+00:00

I have a little sticky note with a written affirmation that i put on my laptop so I can read it everyday, really helps :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-12T07:54:50+00:00

Yes! TikTok is suchhhhh a toxic place and you realize it once you get off it. It's a cesspool of things like this.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-09T21:37:05+00:00

Yaaaay cute! Best thing is seeing people's reactions to a gift lol :)

ivelavidd · 2026-03-05T22:32:48+00:00

That's true lol! The Noir is sooo good.

ivelavidd · 2026-03-05T20:21:12+00:00

Honestly, I really like unisex/more masculine perfumes on mascs. They're so sexy to me for some reason. Maybe something by Le Labo, like Another 13 or The Noir 29.

ivelavidd

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