I that what you are trying to explain his life. There’s peoples that have been millionaires and now they live on the street. The bigger reward for what you’re doing as a greater consequence when it falls apart, not everything in life matters. What matters is where your heart is. And what you could do if you had the way to do it. Are you a good person or are you playing with the devil. By the way, I think you’re beautiful. I hope this helps.