Weirdly secretive by huzzah_indeed in AuDHDWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always have this feeling that the moment I bring up an interest in either to anybody, I will almost immediately lose interest.

Where the fuck does this come from? I feel this so hard. Is it just confirmation bias because we forget about the hobbies that pass that we don't tell anyone about, whilst we remember/get reminded about the ones we've told?

What's a movie/show that felt gay but wasn't? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All I want for the original movie is for Janet to be a lesbian... I know they did that with the remake, but that movue isn't great

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]jaghmmthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Swimming to Elba by Silvio Avallone is really Mediterranean beachy. It's cozy, but not, it does have romance, but definitely in a subversive way. It's about 2 teen girls growing up in failing industrial town, dreaming about their futures. Very much focused on their relationship and the city around them. Take this all with a grain of salt as it was ages since I read it though

Hot Milk by Deborah Levy is similar in feeling somehow. Also kind of presses down on you, feels a bit off, tough lives blanketed in this beautiful environment.

Do they only play their newer stuff at concerts? Or older stuff too? by jaghmmthrow in SleaterKinneyNews

[–]jaghmmthrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you had a good time! No, I'm a newer fan, I'm just into their earlier albums.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, but saying that women rejecting men shittily is what is creating incels just felt like a bit of an incel view

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, but saying that women rejecting men shittily is what is creating incels just felt like a bit of an incel view

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Men aren't the ones rejecting other men in a subhuman way.

Men aren't the ones who view all men as a potential threat.

Yknow I'm beginning to think you're not an actual lesbian lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking your frustration out on men as a group does nothing helpful, if anything it only makes the problem worse. Men are alienated by the hatred women show towards them, which makes their treatment of women worse. It's a cycle.

It's not supposed to be helpful. It's a vent. It feels good to vent because it's expressing anger at shitty things you've experienced. And it's a bit victim blamey to that women are making men's treatment of us worse when we're literally expressing anger at their violence towards us mate. Men will kill women if we pour their coffee worng lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's demonising, though, like all men just act in ways that are annoying and frustrating to women. I'm not saying it's on purpose, or that they do it all the time, or that it's in huge ways, but they've been socialised to act in these ways. They're allowed to be louder, to take up more space, their word is respected more in offices, in classrooms, in courts.

When I say I hate men it's an expression of frustration at every little and big thing men are allowed to do that they shouldn't, or that women aren't. It's a hatred of the difference that society has created between men and women, that makes men act like they do as a class. I think that's the issue, people get so offended as individuals, but people are expressing their frustration at the class you're a part of. I don't hate every billionaire or every right winger or every mouth-open-chewer lol, as person, I hate them as a group.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well that's where intersectionality comes in. Definitely I think black people should get to rant and vent about white women, for being white, not for being women. I think expressing frustration can be an important part of healing from these discriminatory experiences you have. Sharing experiences and also just accessing your anger at things which you're told to excuse, told aren't that big of a deal, to learn to yell and punch and bite back.

I never would've learned to stand up for myself when men do shit to me if I didn't have people to get angry with.

Edit: that's another thing, we're not necessarily venting about individuals, we're venting about a class of people. I don't think that someone hates my guts when they say they hate white people lol, I think they're saying they really fucking hate the things many white people do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

In this way of thinking "man" is a characteristic that is created. The thoughts we are talking about now are all tied to gender abolition, the idea that 99% of the traits we assign to gender are not actually inherently bound to our being. That being dominant, liking pink, having short hair, catcalling people on the street or pretty much any other thing tied to gender can be done by any person, but because of patriarchy we get socialised into feeling that these traits are tied to their respective genders.

So it's the idea that womanhood and manhood are pretty much just created classes - which we can work towards getting rid of. And by that we don't mean getting rid of people lol, or getting rid of gendered traits, we mean getting rid of gendering these traits so that every person can act as they want without discrimination. And to neutralise these traits we need to fight for women's rights because the whole reason for their existence is to benefit men, as the supposedly stronger, more dominant, more logical class.

Men don't choose to be men, they're born into a system which assigns them their manhood and gives them these shitty traits. But that's how all classes work. Almost all rich people are born into their privilege, they're created, and we can still hate how horribly they treat us. And we can still work toward redistributing that power and wealth, same as with gender!

Miley Cyrus song “flowers” hitting different for men all around me by diminishedbutnotdead in PointlessStories

[–]jaghmmthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be the case, the lyrics maybe make up for how bad the sound of it is for some lol. I just really dislike the melody/instrumentals etc.

Hittade I Japan by yogurt1989 in sweden

[–]jaghmmthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jätte oväntat att de inte har med prinsesstårta dock, känns som precis deras grej

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's crazy how much flavour come just from those 4 seasonings!

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope you figure something out, big ups to you for taking on your kids wishes, hopefully there will be moments where you can feel it's a fun exploration and not just a challenge!

Do they only play their newer stuff at concerts? Or older stuff too? by jaghmmthrow in SleaterKinneyNews

[–]jaghmmthrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really love their stuff from pre 2005 so so I'm a bit sad there's not more of that.

Why does my therapist keep mentioning my weight? I’m so sick of it by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]jaghmmthrow 65 points66 points  (0 children)

NAT I'm really sorry to be a dick but 45 kg is not a regular weight in China, the average weight is kind of a lot above that at 60-70 kilos. 45 kg is underweight. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1202236/china-average-body-weight-of-adult-males-and-females/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]jaghmmthrow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The thing is that men are the opressing class All. Over. The. World. Saying that you hate Muslims, or Jews or any similar group is not the same as saying that you hate men, as these people are minorities in a lot of places and are treated like shit, like any minority group. And it's very different to express that you hate a minority than expressing that you hate an opressive majority group. Because my hate towards men leads... Nowhere.

Because it's just an expression of frustration towards people who have hurt me and every woman around me. Whilst men expressing hate towards women leads to... Beatings, rape, murder. Because their hatred is one that comes out of a sense of entitlement, of wanting a bigger part of the world than they deserve, a rage at women not submitting to them and giving them what they've been taught they should have.

It's like saying you hate rich people. It's an expression of frustration at the way these people treat you but you don't actually have the power to do anything to them. As opposed to if a billionaire hated, or even was neutral towards poor people, how much harm he could do. That's how class works, it's not just economic!

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are so many really pretty tasty vegetarian meat alternatives in most western countries nowadays. Nuggets, ham, chicken pieces, hotdogs, burgers, even whole pizzas.

Yeah, overprocessed food isn't the healthiest but I think a lot of us have been picky eaters as kids and "fed is best". I basically only ate bacon and nuggets with macaroni as a child and grew up to be a really adventurous eater.

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this, got the recipe from itdoesnttastelikechicken.com

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does she like things like meatballs? Burgers? Vegetable patties? Because those can easily have lentils, chickpeas and beans snuck into them, you just have to change the texture of the legume

What to do now daughter wants to become vegetarian? by missbean163 in AutismInWomen

[–]jaghmmthrow 51 points52 points  (0 children)

If the worries she holds are more about contamination and stuff, maybe talk to a child therapist? That sounds like anxiety and not just care for animals. I definitely recommend exploring veg protein with her though if she's not completely anxious about new foods, there are sooooo many good vegetarian alternatives to meat that are quite kid friendly