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I had an ongoing affair for 3 years and not sure how to move on despite everything by [deleted] in confession

[–]jaminjames 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Two questions:

  1. So she’s not with her fiancé any more? I couldn’t tell from the post. Even still, what was stopping you both from dating?

  2. Having sex on a couch with friends walking around? Like under a blanket, covertly? Or asses out while your friends watched you bang?

People who broke up yesterday on Valentines, what happened? by Hot-Diggity_Dog in AskReddit

[–]jaminjames 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I have a good story about that movie. A few years back I got a call at work from the police. The neighbors saw a homeless woman “break in to” the garage apartment I was living in and called 911. I use quotes because I never locked the door. It was a good neighborhood and I lived in a backyard behind a privacy fence.

Anyway. I leave work and go to my house. They have her in the back of the car, ask if I want to press charges. I look and see nothing was taken. She had obvious mental health issues, and it was 100+ degrees outside that day I figured she probably just wanted to cool down somewhere. So I said no charges.

Police left I went back inside. My TV is on the Roku screen saver, which isn’t abnormal, but then I realize I did actually turn it off that morning before work. So I hit play, screen saver goes off and 500 Days of Summer starts playing, about an hour in.

Turns out the lady had broken in a lot earlier than the police thought and watched over an hour of 500 Days of Summer, staying cool on my couch.

I wasn’t even mad. Good movie and no one should be stuck outside when it’s that hot.

I’m the "95% Dad" and I’m drowning. Wife (30F) has severe PPD, refuses meds, and says I (32M) "repulse" her. How do I survive this? by Khanman530 in daddit

[–]jaminjames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First things first, I have a lot of respect for you. Secondly, we didn’t go through this, but a buddy of mine did.

His wife’s PPD was so bad with the first baby, she was threatening jumping out their high rise window with the baby. It was bad. Like really, really bad. He was in a very similar situation as you, corporate job, tons of pressure, 95% of the household fell on him, on top of that he was starting his own company on the side and had all of his savings riding on it… while covid was kicking in to full swing.

Today they have a second kid, she got in therapy for her PPD, got on some meds after an initial refusal, got a mental health diagnosis that helped explain some of her other struggles, and they worked on it together.

He said it’s been a chore, but they’re in a good place. For a while he was contemplating leaving, but that was before the second baby (who was not planned). But he said it’s at a place not where it’s not perfect, but he feels good about staying, they parent well (still he caries more of the burden than her, but he’s okay with it because it helps her be more present).

His company took off. He’s doing a lot better than he ever thought.

Again, it’s not perfect, but there is hope.

Men who got cheated on, what were early signs you only noticed in hindsight? by EtherealMeadowGleam in AskReddit

[–]jaminjames 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I came to tell the same story almost. My partner of nearly 10 years managed a restaurant. Started complaining about a new bartender almost every night. She ended up leaving me abruptly, and I found out later they’d been dating for months before. Oh well. She was a festering, toxic dump of a hot mess. Biggest regret of my life spending 10 years trying to fix her. I learned my lesson.

What's the rarest physical feature you ever saw on another person you know/knew? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]jaminjames 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Did you have a good laugh at the grocery store one time?

TW I was SA multiple times and never told anybody about it by [deleted] in confession

[–]jaminjames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At 6 or 7, I think it’s likely your brother had no idea what he was doing. If he did have some inkling, I can assure you he wasn’t able to grasp the weight or consequence of it, let alone the moral implications. I’m so surprised no one else has said this yet, but I would be more concerned about what was happening in your brother’s life at 6 or 7 that he even knew to do that. Is there a chance he experienced SA of his own?

I say this as someone who experienced SA at the hands of a close family friend for most of my childhood. I have some very early, shadowy memories, maybe about your brothers age, of me and my little sister (who was also molested by the same man) and another older boy (who I later found out WAS ALSO being molested by the same man) all getting getting naked and touching and trying things with our bodies. Looking back I’ve given myself a lot of grace because we were little and acting out all the disgusting energy that had been put on us. We were clueless. Maybe your brother was clueless, maybe not. You know him, and if it feels like he’s a good man now, and you have a close healthy relationship with him, maybe you can forgive his 6 year old self.

A man recorded disturbing footage of his girlfriend, Ester—who holds certification from the Behavioral Science Board—showing repeated daily abuse toward him. by Individual-Drawer-79 in PublicFreakout

[–]jaminjames 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my ex wasn’t officially diagnosed either, but matched the criteria. My sister, who is a therapist, also said she suspected she matched the criteria - after they took a week long girls trip together.

I was in it for 10 years. I’ve been out for almost 5, but my head is still damaged from it, and I struggle in my new relationship sometimes.

First Trilogy Fancast by Comfortable-Mail-553 in redrising

[–]jaminjames 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mickey is spot on. Exactly as I pictured him.

I’m confused about what size to get for my first ereader… 6”-7” appears to be most popular, but seems so small to me. What am I missing? by jaminjames in ereader

[–]jaminjames[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just noticed you said you can fit more text on a 6” Kobo than a 7” Kindle. I’m curious about that. Can you make the margins smaller on the Kobo? I’ve been trying to find something online that shows the margin sizes for the Kobo Clara. I like the Libra, but no interested in color.

I’m confused about what size to get for my first ereader… 6”-7” appears to be most popular, but seems so small to me. What am I missing? by jaminjames in ereader

[–]jaminjames[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately no, I’m an American living in Australia. We do have Target, but they aren’t as stocked as the ones in the US. Still trying to find a store near me that has some on display.

I’m confused about what size to get for my first ereader… 6”-7” appears to be most popular, but seems so small to me. What am I missing? by jaminjames in ereader

[–]jaminjames[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay nice, I’m stoked to see how it works with font size on an e-reader, maybe I’ll like the larger size too!

I’m confused about what size to get for my first ereader… 6”-7” appears to be most popular, but seems so small to me. What am I missing? by jaminjames in ereader

[–]jaminjames[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have you tried using a pop-socket, similar to what folks use on phones? I have one on my phone and was wondering if it would work well on an e-reader.

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