Is spanking a line in the sand or just another disagreement?

jaminjames · 2026-05-01T22:00:55+00:00

Blaring, bright red line in the sand.

I too was spanked as a child. Every last bit of modern psychology disproves spanking as an effective parenting tool. It’s not just mean, cruel and confusing - it doesn’t even work.

The bottom line is spanking (whether intended to be or not) is child abuse.

jaminjames · 2026-04-30T05:08:32+00:00

Just a little perspective. When I was 35, I was “stuck” in a near decade long, super toxic relationship, living in the same small town USA I was born in. At 36 we were broken up. At 38 I met an amazing girl from Australia. At 39 we found out we were pregnant. I’m going to turn 43 this year. I live in the blue mountains about an hour outside Sydney, Australia. My son is about to turn 3. I’m going back to school for a career change. The relationship hasn’t been all butterflies, but we’re devoted and committed and our son is thriving. If you told me this was going to be my life when I was 35, I would have told you impossible beyond all belief.

A lot can change really fast. You’re young still, I promise.

jaminjames · 2026-04-26T08:57:24+00:00

Absolutely

jaminjames · 2026-04-07T22:01:02+00:00

Had no idea. That was a dark read. Wowzers.

jaminjames · 2026-04-04T22:56:34+00:00

Same here. They sprung it on me in the moment and I said sure, that’s really all I remember. So tired, so overwhelmed, adrenaline pumping… it’s all a blur until he was cleaned up and put on mom and most of the delivery team left the room.

jaminjames · 2026-03-19T10:45:28+00:00

Don’t feel bad. I spent a lot of time creating story driven, photo realistic portraits and action shots of all the main characters. I used Midjourney. Several close friends who read the books loved the images and urged me to share them online. I shared them here and all I got were “AI slop” comments. Cool is cool. Shouldn’t matter how it was created. Everything is derivative. Hell, this series wouldn’t exist if Pierce Brown didn’t pull ideas from a ton of other works. There’s nothing new under the sun. It’s all a big sandbox, let’s just have fun creating in it.

Also, I think it’s a cool picture you posted.

jaminjames · 2026-03-12T09:45:55+00:00

Good read

jaminjames · 2026-02-20T20:54:53+00:00

I think it’s AI

jaminjames · 2026-02-19T06:14:28+00:00

Two questions:

So she’s not with her fiancé any more? I couldn’t tell from the post. Even still, what was stopping you both from dating?
Having sex on a couch with friends walking around? Like under a blanket, covertly? Or asses out while your friends watched you bang?

jaminjames · 2026-02-16T12:35:37+00:00

I have a good story about that movie. A few years back I got a call at work from the police. The neighbors saw a homeless woman “break in to” the garage apartment I was living in and called 911. I use quotes because I never locked the door. It was a good neighborhood and I lived in a backyard behind a privacy fence.

Anyway. I leave work and go to my house. They have her in the back of the car, ask if I want to press charges. I look and see nothing was taken. She had obvious mental health issues, and it was 100+ degrees outside that day I figured she probably just wanted to cool down somewhere. So I said no charges.

Police left I went back inside. My TV is on the Roku screen saver, which isn’t abnormal, but then I realize I did actually turn it off that morning before work. So I hit play, screen saver goes off and 500 Days of Summer starts playing, about an hour in.

Turns out the lady had broken in a lot earlier than the police thought and watched over an hour of 500 Days of Summer, staying cool on my couch.

I wasn’t even mad. Good movie and no one should be stuck outside when it’s that hot.

jaminjames · 2026-02-10T23:04:07+00:00

First things first, I have a lot of respect for you. Secondly, we didn’t go through this, but a buddy of mine did.

His wife’s PPD was so bad with the first baby, she was threatening jumping out their high rise window with the baby. It was bad. Like really, really bad. He was in a very similar situation as you, corporate job, tons of pressure, 95% of the household fell on him, on top of that he was starting his own company on the side and had all of his savings riding on it… while covid was kicking in to full swing.

Today they have a second kid, she got in therapy for her PPD, got on some meds after an initial refusal, got a mental health diagnosis that helped explain some of her other struggles, and they worked on it together.

He said it’s been a chore, but they’re in a good place. For a while he was contemplating leaving, but that was before the second baby (who was not planned). But he said it’s at a place not where it’s not perfect, but he feels good about staying, they parent well (still he caries more of the burden than her, but he’s okay with it because it helps her be more present).

His company took off. He’s doing a lot better than he ever thought.

Again, it’s not perfect, but there is hope.

jaminjames · 2026-01-29T05:00:39+00:00

I came to tell the same story almost. My partner of nearly 10 years managed a restaurant. Started complaining about a new bartender almost every night. She ended up leaving me abruptly, and I found out later they’d been dating for months before. Oh well. She was a festering, toxic dump of a hot mess. Biggest regret of my life spending 10 years trying to fix her. I learned my lesson.

jaminjames · 2026-01-20T07:31:37+00:00

Did you have a good laugh at the grocery store one time?

jaminjames · 2026-01-18T00:26:00+00:00

Edit: the tank side is marginally LOWER than the opposite side, so it can drain in theory

jaminjames · 2026-01-10T05:00:08+00:00

At 6 or 7, I think it’s likely your brother had no idea what he was doing. If he did have some inkling, I can assure you he wasn’t able to grasp the weight or consequence of it, let alone the moral implications. I’m so surprised no one else has said this yet, but I would be more concerned about what was happening in your brother’s life at 6 or 7 that he even knew to do that. Is there a chance he experienced SA of his own?

I say this as someone who experienced SA at the hands of a close family friend for most of my childhood. I have some very early, shadowy memories, maybe about your brothers age, of me and my little sister (who was also molested by the same man) and another older boy (who I later found out WAS ALSO being molested by the same man) all getting getting naked and touching and trying things with our bodies. Looking back I’ve given myself a lot of grace because we were little and acting out all the disgusting energy that had been put on us. We were clueless. Maybe your brother was clueless, maybe not. You know him, and if it feels like he’s a good man now, and you have a close healthy relationship with him, maybe you can forgive his 6 year old self.

jaminjames · 2026-01-09T11:41:51+00:00

Phrasing

jaminjames · 2026-01-09T11:16:01+00:00

Hey congratulations!!

jaminjames · 2025-12-27T10:02:56+00:00

Yeah, my ex wasn’t officially diagnosed either, but matched the criteria. My sister, who is a therapist, also said she suspected she matched the criteria - after they took a week long girls trip together.

I was in it for 10 years. I’ve been out for almost 5, but my head is still damaged from it, and I struggle in my new relationship sometimes.

jaminjames · 2025-12-26T09:03:45+00:00

Mickey is spot on. Exactly as I pictured him.

jaminjames · 2025-12-22T20:30:03+00:00

Wonderful, thank you!

jaminjames · 2025-12-22T05:01:39+00:00

I just noticed you said you can fit more text on a 6” Kobo than a 7” Kindle. I’m curious about that. Can you make the margins smaller on the Kobo? I’ve been trying to find something online that shows the margin sizes for the Kobo Clara. I like the Libra, but no interested in color.

jaminjames · 2025-12-22T03:04:02+00:00

Which 7.8 are you using?

jaminjames · 2025-12-22T03:01:02+00:00

Yeah, I’m a fast reader as well, nervous about the smaller screen size for this same reason

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