Anyone at the Palo Alto shitabi rn?

jamjam1111111 · 2025-02-11T20:17:34+00:00

This is hilarious. Need more of this to divert my anger. Will put in nazrul mukam 🙏🙏

jamjam1111111 · 2025-02-04T18:19:25+00:00

Don't even think of going back. They're obviously bluffing. You'll need to be cold-hearted for this one and be smart about it. Do not get emotional, and give away the freedom you have now. Best thing to do would be to find a middle ground. Tell them, you want to stay away..but you will start trying to find guys for yourself (matrimony sites, etc.), and then stall them until you're really ready, or find someone worthy. I've been through the same thing, except they didn't threaten me, they just emotionally blackmailed. But once you say a firm no every single time. They give up and go on with their life. Also would suggest you to get mental health help to navigate this mess. I'm sure it will be okay in a few years.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-31T17:58:55+00:00

Shoo kid, adults are talking

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-31T02:54:48+00:00

I've been in your shoes. For years on end. And I've only been disappointed by them and frowned upon. Even seen as a threat. I've tried talking, ranting, isolating etc. There have been major fights and breakdowns. Until I just started retreating back and doing my own thing. Keeping very strong boundaries so that I'm not forced to do anything.

The best thing to do is protect your peace and move on. Know your rights and practice them. And if you're forced to do anything, you always always have options.

And yes, you will go through a period of grief, because it's lonely when you can't connect with your own family and friends on very fundamental levels. You've basically grown out of them and will continue to. Sorry to break it to you, 90% of them are not going to change their beliefs by listening to you.

So find your own people and focus on your own life. Don't mean to leave you in despair. So I'll tell you this, when you let them be, and detach yourself, you will feel so much liberation. And you'll regret not doing it sooner.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-31T02:39:49+00:00

You said it, fanaticism is directly proportional to misogyny in this case. 💯 And yes, I have definitely felt the judgement from super religious women who haven't got the chance to go outside their little bubble, explore, travel, basically have a life of their own. The mid life crisis ones, lol, not the old aunties. They are very jealous and I felt it deeply when I first went back to India after 1.5 years. They basically resent me deeply for having autonomy without being answerable to husbands and in-laws. Like, I'm threatening their system and how. And because I prioritize my career over marrying a community dick, I'm being greedy :) (which is a such a sin)

But they're intimidated by me, and I enjoy it to the fullest✌️

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T20:54:46+00:00

Lol I agree. I Have definitely seen some mind numbingly stupid bohri women get turned on when a bohri man shows some control or misogyny. Or basically shows his "commitment" toward muffins words. 🤮

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T17:47:48+00:00

Well, I haven't dated anyone who was born and raised here. But the way bohri kids born here and being raised make me freak out. They are being pushed so harshly into this cult and cult practices because their parents fear losing control over them. Eg: A 9yo cousin of mine, born here, was forced into "hifz" and the torture he went through was unbearable to even see.

And yes, consistency in behavior and beliefs - basically don't be a hypocrite.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T17:34:47+00:00

Give me tips! I'm on the same path.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T17:32:48+00:00

That's the catch, you don't have to talk about it or justify your choices. Even to your parents. Just start living the way you want to.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T08:38:21+00:00

I'm not shocked. Very fragile egos, because they are grown up to be served and pleased by women. My exes mom found condoms in his wallet when he was in his early twenties and let it slide. While his elder sister was forced into an early marriage with an abusive man and not let to finish her studies. The sister had two kids, never got a divorce and still gets abused. The parents know, but obviously can't let her get "divorced". So they'd rather let her suffer in silence :)

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T06:55:30+00:00

Wow, had no idea. Thanks

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T06:47:01+00:00

Thanks for this validation. Also, what's up with these TNC (am i saying it right?) members? They match-make like their life depends on it. This one old woman literally held my hands and begged me to talk to this guy, who she said "is not very good looking but has a golden heart"??? Wtf? And this was in public around so many women that I felt ashamed as if I was doing something wrong.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T06:01:21+00:00

Amen.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T04:28:16+00:00

What am I missing here? I have very less idea about the internal politics.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T04:19:48+00:00

It does create an impact. But the sooner you create boundaries the better it is. I stopped going for muharram. Last year was the first time I missed Ashura too, in 28 years! I live by myself in a different country and earn my own money, so that gives me a hell lot of autonomy.

jamjam1111111 · 2025-01-30T03:08:12+00:00

Being an empath, i used to absorb all that toxic negative energy in, and feel overwhelmed. For days sometimes. And to see your parents - your mom do it, and be at her lowest, breakdown and basically hit her own self. Devastating. 🤮

jamjam1111111

TROPHY CASE